Gay Marine receives death threats - from his own unit

[bw92116]

Things are not quite as expected upon the repeal of DADT.

http://lgbtweekly.com/2011/11/10/in-afghanistan-unit-greets-gay-marine-with-threats-to-life/

 

[diamondstar]

When coming out goes wrong. Poor guy can't be himself at all. Too many insecure men with their issues wanting to take it out on Steve. Am not promoting staying in the closet, but I feel as long as your parents and friends "who U truly trust" know you're gay that's all who needs to know.

 

[Asenath]

I'm sure there are disciplinary measures under the UCMJ. Document, report, and retain private counsel.

 

[Ninja108]

Let's be honest here..this was going to happen even though I wish it hadn't.
We've been seeing the stories where Marines etc have come out with little to no problems from their units since DADT repealed that we forget that there is a part of the military unit that is very much homophobic.
Women,blacks and latinos still are subject to harrassment and prejudice despite the rules being in place...sadly wasn't to be any different for gays and lesbians.

 

[Nomenclature]

When coming out goes wrong. Poor guy can't be himself at all. Too many insecure men with their issues wanting to take it out on Steve. Am not promoting staying in the closet, but I feel as long as your parents and friends "who U truly trust" know you're gay that's all who needs to know.

To be honest, i've never understood the whole mentality of "EVERYONE needs to know!"; coming out is really only about accepting yourself, and being open about it so you can date. You don't have to sit all of your co-workers, classmates etc down and tell them about your sex life. It's just weird.

 

[diamondstar]

^ It's nice to know am not alone.

 

[Kulindahr]

The same thing happened with blacks in an integrated military. M*A*S*H had some good episodes showing how it went in Korea -- soldiers abandoning others to enemy fire, commanding officers deliberately exposing blacks to more dangerous situations, "accidents" that got official sanction -- and every now and then an officer caught, convicted, and punished.

I think it will take that in the Marines before people settle in and behave. The redneck troops are in denial stage, and they'll stay there until something happens and is dealt with with the full weight of military law. I just hope it doesn't take death to get there; I pray for a situation of serious assault and a commanding officer getting ten years in Leavenworth right along with his underlings.

What makes me less than confident is that we have a president who shows little evidence of having a spine, as we had back then, someone who wouldn't put up with any nonsense and backed the strongest punishments to the hilt.

I won't mind seeing the bigots suffer in this process -- in fact if/when gay soldiers suffer, I look forward to it.

Personally, were I commanding officer of that unit, they'd all be doing disciplinary drills already, with a strict lecture on keeping responsibility where it lies -- on those misbehaving. Then I'd try to get two more gays for the unit.

 

[paintact]

No, that's not 'coming out'. Just because you become open about your sexual orientation (whether you verbally state it, or just simply not hide it and show it through action in terms of who you date, etc.), it does not equal 'sitting people down and telling them the intimate details of your sex life'. Sorry, but that irks me when people twist the two as if they're mutually exclusive.

As for this marine, I hope he gets the proper authorities to help him out, and stays safe. As walls fall, there is going to be more and more push back from bigots, and we have to stay aware.

 

[Asenath]

The same thing happened with blacks in an integrated military.

I think this is going to play out more like the handling of sexual assault than it will the handling of racially motivated bias - a woman in the armed forces or a civilian contractor overseas is more likely to be raped by an American soldier than have any kind of injury done by the opposing side. The situation got so dire that fifteen female and two male victims felt the only way to get justice was to sue Donald Rumsfeld.

I'm afraid it's going to take that kind of action for these sorts of homophobic attacks to get their due attention. The kind of factors that lead to the devaluation of women & homophobic responses are two sides of the same coin.

 

[Ganoderma]

To be honest, i've never understood the whole mentality of "EVERYONE needs to know!"; coming out is really only about accepting yourself, and being open about it so you can date. You don't have to sit all of your co-workers, classmates etc down and tell them about your sex life. It's just weird.

hi Nomenclature,

Straight work-mates who are married (with or without kids) or have a girlfriend don't hide that they are married / have a girlfriend (and or kids). They have a cell-phone with pics of their kids (or wife or girlfriend), they get a textmessage of their wife / girlfriend, and so on and so on. So within a few hours, you are aware that your 'new' work-buddy (or anyone else you meet) is straight.

And that's also how it goes with open gays who are partnered and who don't hide they are partnered with a guy. So they don't tell anyone that they are gay, but it becomes obvious within a very short period of time.

Same with open gays without a partner who are totally comfortable with their own sexual orientation. They don't hide they are gay. Does not mean they must 'sit down and tell anyone', but they use various other ways to let people know they are not dating girls. Same like a straight guy without a partner.

Best wishes.

 

[Rex]

His unit sounds really fucked up if they aren't doing anything about it. All I know is, my squadron wouldn't stand for that shit. I feel like with him just ignoring threats and insults, he's just letting them continue. I can't really understand his situation but I think the wise thing to do would be to stand up for yourself and say something.

 

[Kraseviya]

I think it's important to note that, at least if I read the article correctly the Marine actually never told any of the guys in his unit he was gay.

One day following the repeal of DADT, Marine Jones was called in to what he was assured was a closed-door, private meeting only to learn it had been called to find out why he had put his boyfriend’s name down on the next of kin form instead of his parents. The next day his entire unit knew he was gay, his boyfriend’s name and that the boyfriend had been named as the recipient of any money due him by the military.

 

[AlmondMilk]

And that's also how it goes with open gays who are partnered and who don't hide they are partnered with a guy. So they don't tell anyone that they are gay, but it becomes obvious within a very short period of time.

I understand what you're talking about, but I still don't see it. I mean, when you get a text messages, you don't announce to everyone, "Hey, it's my boyfriend!" I mean, some people do. I don't know. I also don't feel the need to tell people unless they ask.

Not all straight couples flaunt that they're dating... I don't know... I just don't know how to respond to this.

 

[Ganoderma]

I understand what you're talking about, but I still don't see it. I mean, when you get a text messages, you don't announce to everyone, "Hey, it's my boyfriend!" I mean, some people do. I don't know. I also don't feel the need to tell people unless they ask.

Not all straight couples flaunt that they're dating... I don't know... I just don't know how to respond to this.

hi AlmondMilk,

Yeah, you are totally right that not all straight couples flaunt around to anyone that they are dating. And not all straight guys tell immediately that it's their gf / wife who is texing / calling him.

Well, try and figure out how soon you got aware from new male aquaintances / work-mates etc that they have a girlfriend / wife / kids etc. Hours / days / months? How soon such straight guys start talking about 'girls' (in any context)? Hours? Days? Months?

So I tried to tell you that you must see these items 'into a certain context'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of your male work-mates, after getting a text message:
'Excuse me, but I cannot join you for a drink after work, because 'female name' feels not too well, and I would like to go to her immediately after work.

You, to one of your work-mates, after a text message:
'Excuse me, but I cannot join you for a drink (a walk etc.) after work, because 'male name' feels not too well, and I would like to go to him immediately after work.

So some sort of natural process. Feel free to ask more details.

 

[rareboy]

His unit sounds really fucked up if they aren't doing anything about it. All I know is, my squadron wouldn't stand for that shit. I feel like with him just ignoring threats and insults, he's just letting them continue. I can't really understand his situation but I think the wise thing to do would be to stand up for yourself and say something.

hmmmm

I know what I would do with the unit until I found out who'd been making threats and could make an example of them.

But it will likely take some time before the old ways are just a distant memory.

 

[Kulindahr]

I think this is going to play out more like the handling of sexual assault than it will the handling of racially motivated bias - a woman in the armed forces or a civilian contractor overseas is more likely to be raped by an American soldier than have any kind of injury done by the opposing side. The situation got so dire that fifteen female and two male victims felt the only way to get justice was to sue Donald Rumsfeld.

I'm afraid it's going to take that kind of action for these sorts of homophobic attacks to get their due attention. The kind of factors that lead to the devaluation of women & homophobic responses are two sides of the same coin.

It will come to the same thing: until some officers are cashiered and some high-profile careers deep-sixed, it won't stick. In the current case, a general should drop in on the commanding officer and ask, "What part of running a tight unit don't you understand? We have our orders -- carry them out."

hmmmm

I know what I would do with the unit until I found out who'd been making threats and could make an example of them.

But it will likely take some time before the old ways are just a distant memory.

I'd start by getting a special forces sergeant to take the commanding officer out for a little run... into the ground. Then do the same with the unit.

After that.... depends on how they responded to the little talk after the run.