Gay men always want straight guys

[KnightRider]

Someone who I can't remember here put it best in another one of these discussions about the same subject. He said that gay men have been raised fetishizing straight men, so from a very young age, a good number of them are going to be drawn to that and can't help it. Eventually in time when straight/gay sexuality is no longer an issue and gender roles are no longer fixed, gays will no longer be raised predominantly fetishizing straight men. Having a fixation on straight men is ultimately a reflection of self-loathing. It's just saying "he's better than people like me are."

 

[jude swings]

it's forbidden fruit thing but it's also a shame thing imo. who you think is hot isn't a sexual orientation thing but when too often it's somebody str8 to me that's a sign of being ashamed to be bi or gay.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

The projecting and internalized homophobia in this thread is really funny.

 

[AverageJoe]

The projecting and internalized homophobia in this thread is really funny.

I second that. I love all the "I only sleep with straight guys" comments. Yeaaaaah right

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I second that. I love all the "I only sleep with straight guys" comments. Yeaaaaah right

Erg.

There's also the "gay men are all feminine" bullshit from people who either seldom meet or socialize with gay men or just assume the masculine or "regular guy" gay men they meet are straight.

Mostly closeted bi men seem to further this. It's kinda annoying.

And so what? Gimme an out gay man with a touch of visible gaydom over some straight guy any day.

 

[AverageJoe]

There's also the "gay men are all feminine" bullshit from people who either seldom meet or socialize with gay men

You know, in all honesty though, it seems most younger and "out" gay men are pretty feminine. Maybe that's different on the coast. I'm not saying that gay guys are feminine, I just think they're more likely to admit it around here at least when they're younger. Most of the non-feminine gay guys I've met are at least 30-40 years old.

I'll tell you what I really hate though. The term "straight acting." Why should anyone have to act? It makes it sounds like you can't be gay and masculine.

Eh, I'm ranting now...

 

[Telstra]

You know, in all honesty though, it seems most younger and "out" gay men are pretty feminine. Maybe that's different on the coast. I'm not saying that gay guys are feminine, I just think they're more likely to admit it around here at least when they're younger. Most of the non-feminine gay guys I've met are at least 30-40 years old.

I'll tell you what I really hate though. The term "straight acting." Why should anyone have to act? It makes it sounds like you can't be gay and masculine.

Eh, I'm ranting now...

is girly type or manly type ok then ?

 

[JustDance86]

Title for my entry: My two cents, I don't know about all that scince stuff all I know is I'm gay and do not feel any attraction twoards the super flame boys (sorry guys) but show me a bi or straight guy and I'm there!
I have had people and friends ask me if I'm really gay or bi because I'm straight acting and looking and I tell them "I'm straight up gay" but they don't always believe me?...... anyway,,,,,, I love bi and straight guys! "Oooooo straight penis yyyuuuumm"

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

There's nothing more annoying than a gay guy who brags about how "straight" he comes off.

Honestly, I feel like most of you guys live on a different planet than I do where all gay men are big flamers and all the bisexual and straight men are big, manly hulks.

And I'm glad I don't live there, I'd slit my wrists.

 

[jude swings]

There's nothing more annoying than a gay guy who brags about how "straight" he comes off.

Honestly, I feel like most of you guys live on a different planet than I do where all gay men are big flamers and all the bisexual and straight men are big, manly hulks.

And I'm glad I don't live there, I'd slit my wrists.

totally agree but that's really just "str8 acting" gay dudes showing how insecure they are. they're basically saying "i may fuck a guy but i'm no fag". the first step to me in being comfortable with being gay or bi is accepting yourself as well as accepting the fact that gay and bi dudes come in a bunch of diff types AND that there isn't one type that defines what it is to be gay or bi.

 

[asianstudlover]

I don't know if it's about that or not, the 'want what you can't have' thing. It's not like straight guys are hard to sleep with once you get to know them for a little bit.

They just seem like more natural, more organic- like with their masculinity. Less narcissistic. They also seem to play the victim less. They also tend to be less shy, more socially gregarious.

How-ever, to be fair- I will say gay men seem to have bigger hearts. I'm talking from a pure erotic pov. It's like, I would trust my emotions with another gay man easier than I would a straight man, but the straight men always get me going.

So yeah like most gay guys I'm conflicted. Because I can't be a hypocrite. I'm just like most of you here. Straight cock is so appealing to me, so much more naturally arousing than gay cock. Gay cock is like ehhh. The guys are like TOO NICE and don't know how to properly slap me around. Straight men are more naturally masculine and thus hotter. They DO more. And WRITE less. They are more PHYSICAL. Less EMOTIONAL. And just way HOTTER. Less SENSITIVE. Gay men have A LOT to learn from straight guys! *Drool*

Also straight cock creates life, sucking a cock that gives life is always hotter than sucking a cock whose only power is to give stds! It's like, reverse attraction. Sorry to offend but it is!!! I just can't get over how much hotter straight guys are than gay guys. It's at least 4x hotter.

Some of this is way overblown like "STDS dick and "slap me around" but I see the logic. Its tougher in europe. I'm an american guy, 20s, living in middle europe. The problem here is allot of hot guys are the fairly "masculine" and "blokey" types but are still a bit metro in their style, tastes and personality. Perfect mix for me.
The Problem: Most of these guys (that are 7/10 on the "straight acting scale" ARE NOT GAY. So being attracted to this type in Europe is a bit discouraging at times. Where in america i had tons of luck Here they dont get that im gay and interested even after one on one "hanging out." and I end up either being overt by subtly dropping the G-bomb or just end up with straight "man friends" which is cool, if not what i was going for. Happened twice.
The Other Problem: The guys who are fairy "gay" you can pick them out in seconds, Im just not atracted to, though they can be good friends. My euro gay friends say to go for them, but einfach ich habe keine Lust dazu...

"Straight acting" is something few of us actually want, but IF YOU DO go for the type of guys like I do who, for example are creative looking & sensitive, but masculine; prefer black sabbath over Lady GaGa, go to the gym to look good, but love watching sports just as much, first date is beers and pool instead of gay club hopping" it can be pretty tough. In America one can call the "is he, istn't he" bluff more easily.

In short: For a gay dude whose looking for love in a regular "bloke", its a challenge, but much more "straight"-forward in America Any suggestions?

 

[asianstudlover]

There's reasons I love straight guys, but if I found a gay man with those qualities (and I have) I would be just as or more attracted to him. It's the quality of 'bro-ness' that I find most gay men lack...act like a bro to me, and I'll find you hot. In fact gay would be much hotter, because then you wouldn't have to go through all the other 'condfused about my sexuality' bullshit, we could just get it on.

And that's just me. I def do not think that ALL gay men find straight men hotter, by any means. I know plenty of gay men that find straight men positively disgusting.

I love our community and its diversity, but Youre right in the end, some of us just want to fall in love with a "bro" not a "sis".

It could also be ("cringe" dont take it as more than it is) that as they say women date tons of types but often end up marrying a guy with some of their fathers attributes. There's probably ONLY A GRAIN of truth even in that, but it could be similar with gay guys. My dad was slower in accepting me but finally got there and I respect and admire quite a lot of who/what he is. My dad's not macho but quite masculine, blue collar bloke not an uptight accountant and well, straight acting-as far as that goes. so why wouldnt I want something similar...

 

[Adrock-JD]

I want masculine gay guys. I don't mean Rambo acting either, just not too feminine.

 

[hothunk222]

I used to be into straight guys back when I was a sad closeted mess, then I started meeting real gay men masculine, gorgeous and intelligent gay men, now I find straight guys to be pretty unattractive, rude, dumb, loud and obnoxious. There's tons of straight girls out there that think the same of straight guys and often wish their hot masculine gay guy friends would turn straight, haha. I love gay men.

 

[Simon25]

They are nice to look at and thats it, never wanted to do anything w a straigh guy b/c its way too much work on my part, give me a masculine gay guy, they know how to have great sex, can chill with ya and at the end of the nigth happy to curl up in bed with you. Try getting all of that out of a straight guy on a reg basis!

 

[Simon Spark]

I think that this question/debate is based off the statement that people want what they can't have.

This is very true. I don't think it's a scientific thing at all. The appeal of a straight man is that he's unavailable, and I think most of us gays can be a bit masochistic in that way at times (just look at the popularity of "straight guys having gay sex" websites out there). Speaking from personal experience, when I was younger, I was really drawn to straight/bi men - but it wasn't some chemical inside my brain or anything. It was that I actually wanted that drama of abuse, humiliation, and ultimate rejection. It's a really unhealthy thing to put yourself through, but it's not limited just to us. It's a human thing to want the unattainable, not a gay thing.

That said, the generalizations of straight and gay male characteristics have almost become obsolete. If you want a "straight acting" gay guy, you can find him most anywhere (just as easily as you can find a queeny straight guy).

 

[clicker]

It's strange how people can see things totally differently. I not only did NOT find it funny, I found it to be the most offensive, self-loathing, gay-bashing statement against gay people that I've heard in a while (passed off as a joke or not).

Agreed, JNEWYORK. Tha was truly offensive, SINATTACK, and it's clear that you are struggling with anti-gay teaching from ex-gay groups. You've posted (most) of your vitriole nonsense before.
Look, a straight guys to me usually means a stiff, hostile, scared, weak guy. WHAT a turnoff! I'm a passionate, attractive, respectful funny Italian gay/bi guy. Why would I lower myself to males who don't see the beauty of male sexual bonding? My masculinity (in my eyes, as I see it) is right down the middle. Most people would say I'm quite masculine, some say they can tell I'm gay. I try to be the unique, authentic that bi can be. That said, effeminacy is a definite turnoff and boner killer.

 

[clicker]

Erg.

There's also the "gay men are all feminine" bullshit from people who either seldom meet or socialize with gay men or just assume the masculine or "regular guy" gay men they meet are straight.

Mostly closeted bi men seem to further this. It's kinda annoying.

And so what? Gimme an out gay man with a touch of visible gaydom over some straight guy any day.

Agreed. Thanks, JASUN. Your posts speak truth bluntly to homophobia which raises it's ugly head every so often.

 

[sktguy]

This is very true. I don't think it's a scientific thing at all. The appeal of a straight man is that he's unavailable, and I think most of us gays can be a bit masochistic in that way at times (just look at the popularity of "straight guys having gay sex" websites out there). Speaking from personal experience, when I was younger, I was really drawn to straight/bi men - but it wasn't some chemical inside my brain or anything. It was that I actually wanted that drama of abuse, humiliation, and ultimate rejection. It's a really unhealthy thing to put yourself through, but it's not limited just to us. It's a human thing to want the unattainable, not a gay thing.

That said, the generalizations of straight and gay male characteristics have almost become obsolete. If you want a "straight acting" gay guy, you can find him most anywhere (just as easily as you can find a queeny straight guy).

Speak for yourself kid. I have no interest in abuse, humiliation and rejection. Never was. Never will be. If you do or did I pity you.
I also don't think most gay men are masochistic that way. Some maybe but I generally don't see that people want unpleasant things in their lives.

 

[Simon Spark]

Speak for yourself kid. I have no interest in abuse, humiliation and rejection. Never was. Never will be. If you do or did I pity you.
I also don't think most gay men are masochistic that way. Some maybe but I generally don't see that people want unpleasant things in their lives.

Did you not see the part where I said "Speaking from personal experience"?? I'm not trying to speak for all of gaykind - BUT, from the people I've known, I do think most (yes, most) of us experience that on some level, especially younger gay men who maybe live in smaller towns or somewhere where there is no gay culture. Whether you have or will or whatnot isn't my any of my business or concern. "Wanting unpleasant things in my life" long ago isn't something I'm gonna brag about, I was just being honest about my own experience.