Well actually, I was speaking specifically of San Francisco, a town that I LOVE by the way.
And I'm only talking about going out and meeting people, and by no means am I saying it's 100%, either. I met some very sweet guys out at bars, and I had many gay friends there who were all super nice. I'm only saying that in general, when in bars going out to meet strangers. You may be right, that it's the cliquey nature of nightclubs and bars and such.
After I left SF I went to live in a little tiny rural town that was full of marines, some of them gay, almost all of them straight, and pretty much every one of them nice as fuck. So It may be a city thing, and I was just hanging around the wrong places in the city.
In any case, I'm happy where I'm at now

I do miss SF though, for many other reasons.