Gay Relationships: Are You The Girl Or The Guy?

[RenaissanceMan]

"Sometimes the guy, sometimes the girl."

That must get expensive with all that surgery.

And I wouldn't like to see what "it" looks like after all of them. I mean, look at Michael Jackson...

 

[sb]

I find this question stupid and annoying when straight people ask it.

And I am sick of people who think that the one who is penetrated is somehow inferior.

 

[Kulindahr]

The only way I could come up with to answeer this was to think of all the different things I do and decide if there's one where I always take the masculine role. I finally hit on dancing (the old kind, with actual steps and moves): I always lead, never follow, so I guess I'm "the guy".
But then what if I meet a dude some day who I'd love to follow?

 

[Swellegant]

Wow, it's like the last fifty years never happened! Yay! It's Pleasantville all over again! I'll be the mommy and you be the daddy, except on alternate Thursdays when you cook and I plug your ass! Wheeeeee!

Though I haven't been in a relationship in a long time, I never felt like I was "the girl." And I'm a drag-queen for chrissakes! Sometimes I've been a little dominating and stoic, and sometimes I get to nesting and like to nurture someone, but these are not exclusively male and female roles anymore, not even for the heterosexual couples.

 

[Kurn]

These are concepts only useful for understanding relations in a way that's getting more and more retro.
If you like a retro box understanding, fine.
But it has limited usefulness and some potential for over-perpetuating misunderstandings.

 

[RicanDAB]

Ummm... aren't all gay relationships between two guys, by definition?

Ironically enough, that definition also includes relationships between two WOMEN!

But seriously, I do not see myself as the girl or the guy per se and neither does my boyfriend. We are both males and we treat each other as such. We're also both versatile and enjoy the fact that we can pleasure each other in different ways. There is no semblance of femininity in our relationship and we're happy to see it that way.

 

[teh_nathan]

I don't believe in the whole role thing nor do I believe in categorizing myself, though I am a sensitive/caring/giving type so think whatever you like about that.

 

[Finn]

That is a question that I would expect an ignorant straight person to ask,

 

[RRRalph]

This is fucking ridiculous, why must we label everything to the point of our own relationships.

Sometimes I think these topics are made up by straight college boys just to watch us take the bait...

I find this question stupid and annoying when straight people ask it.

That is a question that I would expect an ignorant straight person to ask.

I was kinda suprised as well, but it's the reality for some gays. Have a look in the Coming Out & Relationships section.

 

[69Strat]

By that definition though, even in straight couples there would be many men who are the "girl" of the relationship.

Women are usually quite dominneering and men usually are controlled by their women. Having been in a few heterosexual relationships, that's been my observation.

 

[RRRalph]

I'm just a guy who enjoys having sex with Eric! Nothing more or less!

The poster felt the guy/girl thing not in sex, but in relationships.

 

[69Strat]

In a recent thread i read that this dude feels like "the guy" in some relationships and in some others relationships he feels like "the girl". Do you ever feel like the so called "guy" or "girl" in a relationship?
.

Even though some men are more masculine and others are more effeminate, it still would not signify a guy-girl role in a gay relationship, at least not to me.

 

[hunky]

Boy, of course.

 

[RRRalph]

If you consider that some one is 'less' in a relationship, then you really have problems.

I hope you didn't mean that women are 'less', cuz that would be ridiculous!

 

[RRRalph]

I want to point out that 40% of the voters feels being either man or woman. Surprisingly!

 

[Twisly]

i feel sometimes the guy, sometimes the girl.

 

[MidnightPrism]

I'm always the man in the relationship.... and so is he... we're both men.

 

[RRRalph]

Boy, of course.

Fore some this is a strange question, but however for others not.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

I find the question to be somewhat of a 'polite' way of asking, who tops and who bottoms.

I have never heard that question coming from a gay man. Thanks, Lord.

I have been asked that question only once by my Ex-BF's sister, who of all the things in the world was an MD.

I very politely declined to answer.

What happens in our bedroom, stays there, too.

SC