Gay Relationships

[bluboi77]

So is this true? There are 4 types of long term gay relationships:

1. Those who are open.
2. Those who have 3somes
3. Those who cheat.
4. Those who break up.

I've come to realize that I am number 3. Which one are you?

 

[gewhite3]

No, it's not true. I personally know couples that have been through all four of these "stages". They got together, were monogamous for a while, decided to have an open relationship, during the open relationship period they had threesomes, it didn't work out so one partner decided to "close" the relationship back up, given an ultimatum, the other partner then cheated on the closed minded one, then they broke up.

I don't think relationships are so "black and white" as you describe above. Sure, there may be people who fit very snugly into one of the aforementioned scenarios. Take my case for example:

My partner and I have been together for 7 years now. We started out online for 2 years before we could be together (he's Brazilian). We lived together in a perfectly happy relationship for 1 year (so we're at the 3-year mark at this point). Then we made a mutual decision to open up our relationship. Our relationship has been open now ever since then and we have had a few threesomes. We are still happy as ever, totally in love with one another and neither one of us has unsafe sex because of our commitment. However, having a little fun on the side means nothing to either one of us, it's just a little play.

So......what this means to me is that the "cheating" and "breaking up" part will not occur between us. I have known since the moment my eyes met his that we would be together for the rest of our lives, and he feels exactly the same way I do. I still feel the same "butterflies" I did on day one. It's truly wonderful when you know somebody loves you the same way you love them, and that your feelings are truly, in every sense, reciprocated. I only wish everyone could know what I feel.

 

[M4P]

5. Committed and monogamous

You missed this category which describes my relationship (ten years) and so many others that I'm aware of

It is possible, however it requires commitment from both parties

 

[ipippini]

Brian thanks so much for that, I just started on a committed monogamous relationship and I am hoping for it to stay that way

 

[WYSIWYG]

I agree, number 5 is what counts!

 

[mojoe54]

So is this true? There are 4 types of long term gay relationships:

1. Those who are open.
2. Those who have 3somes
3. Those who cheat.
4. Those who break up.

I've come to realize that I am number 3. Which one are you?[/QUOT

Bluboi,
The answer to your question is that any long-term relationship can fall into any of those categories, as well as category #5 (committed and monogamous), as Brian1 pointed out. My bf and I have been together for over 29 years. We started out at #1, had a failed attempt at #2, only one instance of #3 , never did #4 ( though it has been considered on a few occasions), and for a very many years now we have been exceedingly happy with #5. The basic rule is "Whatever floats your boat". I hope that whatever option you choose is the right one for you.

 

[M4P]

Number 5 for almost 14 years here - and the sex is still fucking hot!

You got that right - gets better and better

My bf and I have been together for over 29 years. We started out at #1, had a failed attempt at #2, only one instance of #3 , never did #4 ( though it has been considered on a few occasions), and for a very many years now we have been exceedingly happy with #5. The basic rule is "Whatever floats your boat". I hope that whatever option you choose is the right one for you.

29 years - congratulations. I also agree that #5 doesn't necessarily define a successful relationship - its what works for me. I'm aware of a few open relationships that have gone on for a long time as well. Set your boundaries and live and love by them

Brian thanks so much for that, I just started on a committed monogamous relationship and I am hoping for it to stay that way

Best of luck to you both

 

[luminum]

No. 5 is what I aspire to and won't accept any of the other 4.

 

[spreadeagle]

Yes - these descriptors don't fit specifically gay relationships - People either stick together or they don't. Whether either of them have 'cheated' along the way, or whether they have agreed to have mutual sex with a third party or seperately with other lovers is not necessarily a factor in determining the longevity of the relationship.

Relationships that last usually develop a degree of tolerance, generosity and forgiveness. There is an awareness of and value placed on the synergy of the relatrionship.

 

[NickCole]

Yes - these descriptors don't fit specifically gay relationships - People either stick together or they don't. Whether either of them have 'cheated' along the way, or whether they have agreed to have mutual sex with a third party or seperately with other lovers is not necessarily a factor in determining the longevity of the relationship.

Relationships that last usually develop a degree of tolerance, generosity and forgiveness. There is an awareness of and value placed on the synergy of the relatrionship.

Are you me?

Did I write this under an assumed name?

 

[thermodynamics]

5. Committed and monogamous

You missed this category which describes my relationship (ten years) and so many others that I'm aware of

It is possible, however it requires commitment from both parties

This is the only one I'd want to be a part of. Still gotta find a guy though...shucks...

 

[tallguy297]

Yes - these descriptors don't fit specifically gay relationships - People either stick together or they don't. Whether either of them have 'cheated' along the way, or whether they have agreed to have mutual sex with a third party or seperately with other lovers is not necessarily a factor in determining the longevity of the relationship.

Relationships that last usually develop a degree of tolerance, generosity and forgiveness. There is an awareness of and value placed on the synergy of the relatrionship.

Wow...what a post! Pretty much says it all...

Blue, gay relationships are no different to str8 ones. The same risks apply...the same rewards apply. The same sort of people create issues in both our worlds. You just have to decide what you are looking for...and seek out someone who shares your values and desires. Its note easy sure...but the hundreds of str8 dating sites tells you it no easier on the other side...

Dont let being gay be an excuse to settle for second best or to believe that you are destined for unhappiness or instability in your life. Its an evil misplaced unfortunate untruth. You are in charge of your life. And only you can make the decision to pursue your happiness.

 

[Ninja108]

I'm number 5 here... two years and counting and eagerly waiting for many more