Gay whore

[fetaby]

First, there's nothing wrong with being a whore. But you've said it yourself that your being a whore for the wrong reasons.

Using sex to validate your existence can only have one possible outcome, having sex to validate your existence.

There seems to be a confidence issue, I'd suggest focusing on the other aspects of your life and build up positive reinforcement there. What are you doing? Are you in school? Do you work? How's the family? What do you do for fun? Do you have any hobbies? Have you ever challenged yourself to do something you don't thing you'd be able to do?

There's a lot of different things that make up life, and if we focus on any one thing we tend to feel out of balance. Restore the balance.

 

[KaraBulut]

It's kinda hard to not be slutty and be [strike]gay [/strike]a guy

Fixed.

The problem is not that you're a slut and you're easy. The problem is that you're looking for sex, other guys are looking for guys like you and it's a perfect match. That's actually not even a problem... if you're happy with that situation.

Don't kid yourself that you're doing it because the other guy wants it. You're doing it because you want to and because it gets you the response that you're looking for.

If you want something more than sex and short-term relationships, then go for that. When you're clear on what you want- clear with yourself and clear with the people you go out with- then the pattern will change.

 

[hylas]

how hard is it not to have sex with someone?
if you dont want to have sex, just dont have sex.

if someone tries to pressure you into doing something you said you dont want to, then theyre clearly assholes and you should move on. but i suspect outside pressure isnt even the problem here. i suspect youre so fragile you pressure yourself into doing what you think the other person wants you to do. stop it, grow a pair.

of course, i think sex is great and you should have it all the time with everybody in sight, but thats just me. youre clearly not happy with your situation, so change it. stop doing things you dont want to do.

and stop defining yourself by how much you can please somebody else. i think thats your main issue.

 

[conrad]

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN;"

There is a great deql of truth in that saying. You, and the host of other young men were endowed with very strong "animal urges" that in the normal course of growing up you managed to find ways of satisfying.

Masturbation does get us acquinted with our "equipment" And somehow, we grasp that truly satisfying sexual activity requires another person.


IMHO, my friend, you have3discovered that other guys are similarly equipped and that "putting your things together" does intensify the physical relief or orgasm. And, while that may increase the intensity, youj are telling us that something is missing. BRAVO; you are asking a good question.

Again, IMHO, you have missed the wonderful discovery of the fact that some other guys are both loving and lovqble. And, when you have bonded in friendship and love with ahother guy, the sex comes naturally and seems so right. I firmly believe that is true because sex between two young guys bonded in friendship and love is fantastic because it confirms the bond that already exists between two persons and, indeed, has a way of strengthening that bond. ,

You will not feel like a whore in that kind of relationship;. My partner during the last two years of high school is today a happily marri8ed man, as am I, but the love that prompted the sex between us so many years ago remains strong even though the sex ended th the summer we graduated from high school.

The is no substitute for sex in a loving relationship. Concentrqte on being a friend. Friends often become more than just friends and they find that sex is a great way to express and to confirm the love they have for eqch other.

Go for the gold!

 

[mbamike]

Well then I must be a gay whore too! But that is OK with me. I love having sex and love hooking up with other guys! I am having the best sex of my life!

Suppose this stems back to when I was trying to live straight. I behaved as a good Christian and "saved myself" for marriage. I felt as if I missed out on something.

Then married the first girl to come along once I was old enough. We were not sexually compatible at all! That nightmare ended up in a hellacious divorce! I am not making that mistake again!

So, I will continue to hook up with guys until someone comes along with whom I will have a special "click." Then I will consider being exclusive with him.

Until then, I have accounts on Manhunt and Adam4Adam and I can host!

 

[TX-Beau]

I've used sex to validate myself, I find nothing wrong with that. It's nice to know that guys want you sexually.

There's nothing wrong with sex, nothing wrong with going after it.

There is something wrong with confusing that for self esteem. There's more to me than sex - as fun as sex is - why don't you try stopping what you're doing and trying something else if it's bothering you?

 

[rareboy]

I'm not seeing the problem here.

Sex is great. It is fun.

It shouldn't invalidate you as a person.

But if you are feeling empty or used after sex, then you need to get yourself sorted out.

Time to make it clear that you're looking for something deeper. Be choosier. Spend your free time volunteering or reading a good book.

 

[AlmondMilk]

Sounds cliche, but don't think with your dick. A lot of guys, especially the ones you meet online through sites like Adam4Adam and Manhunt, look for guys to hook up with. When I was into hooking up, I liked the sex, and it felt good... however, finding a guy who would maintain a FWB-type of relationship was difficult. There were only three guys I hooked up with I actually talk to once in awhile. We stopped the FWB-type friendship and maintained a more platonic friendship.

Anyway, have sex with a guy if you want to. If he ends up lying about who he is (sending in a fake pic), then leave him. If you're not comfortable, you'll probably end up seeing the hook up as a big mistake.

If you're having fun hooking up with guys, then good for you. Just play safe

 

[bankside]

The other person doesn't always want to move on to sex real quick.

My guy and I enjoyed three months of obvious mutual attraction before we actually did it. He's still with me 12 years later. Sometimes we make love. Sometimes we just fuck each other. Does that make sense?

You need to know it is not a choice of love vs. sex. You can have them both. You just need to be willing to say no when a guy offers you only one of them.

Horny? Jack off. Lonely? Go to a movie with a friend. But remember that sex with random hook-ups isn't doing it for you.

To be honest, I don't think badly of that at all. Sex should be fun, and if two strangers find a fun moment with each other, as long as they're safe and responsible, there's nothing wrong with it. But as you've learned, it is only fulfilling for so much. After that, wait for more. Take a vacation from sex for a while. You can come back to it if you want to, but see what else is out there to go along with it. Like maybe a relationship and sex.

 

[palemale]

It doesn't seem to me you are a whore, but you probably are a slut. Whore's compromise their principals for personal gain. You don't even have to have sex to do it.

For example, Sarah Palin is a whore because she has Christian principals, yet she lies and spews hate to gain fame, power and money. Madonna is a slut. She has more money then she needs, but likes to fuck men. Who doesn't love a slut? We hate Sarah Palin, but love Madonna.

As long as you are having lots of sex with different men for pleasure rather than profit, you are a slut and not a whore.

 

[slnattak]

...And this is the same community that advocates for "gay marriage."

Advocate for gay sex-age cause that's where your minds are. Don't ruin a sacred institution with your filth.

Maybe the bigots are right. Maybe gay men just lust, maybe they don't love.

In other words, although you being a whore is natural - there's nothing to be proud of for being a common whore - you already get this, or you wouldn't have made this post trying to apologize for yourself. You yourself (talking to the op here) admit that you LUST men, you don't LOVE them. And don't try to tell me it's 'both.'

We hate Sarah Palin, but love Madonna.

Speak for yourself. I like neither of those awful, awful women. But I'd rather be with Sarah Palin. Male hedonism and sex for sex's sake is innately empty. It's a road to nowhere, and many gay men have written about it before, but still all these slow suicide drug-abusing sex-addicted gay dudes can't see that. There is more value to your life then just fucking and drugging it away.

Now do I hate myself, or do I just see right through you?

I-I recommend getting your pride trampled on by anyone. (It's overdone)

 

[youngnihilist]

It doesn't seem to me you are a whore, but you probably are a slut. Whore's compromise their principals for personal gain. You don't even have to have sex to do it.

For example, Sarah Palin is a whore because she has Christian principals, yet she lies and spews hate to gain fame, power and money. Madonna is a slut. She has more money then she needs, but likes to fuck men. Who doesn't love a slut? We hate Sarah Palin, but love Madonna.

As long as you are having lots of sex with different men for pleasure rather than profit, you are a slut and not a whore.

Actually, Sarah Palin tells the truth to expose those who are hateful totalitarians out to gain fame, power, and money. She's the voice of the people. But I agree with you about Madonna.

 

[bankside]

...And this is the same community that advocates for "gay marriage."

Advocate for gay sex-age cause that's where your minds are. Don't ruin a sacred institution with your filth.

Maybe the bigots are right. Maybe gay men just lust, maybe they don't love.

In other words, although you being a whore is natural - there's nothing to be proud of for being a common whore - you already get this, or you wouldn't have made this post trying to apologize for yourself. You yourself (talking to the op here) admit that you LUST men, you don't LOVE them. And don't try to tell me it's 'both.'



Speak for yourself. I like neither of those awful, awful women. But I'd rather be with Sarah Palin. Male hedonism and sex for sex's sake is innately empty. It's a road to nowhere, and many gay men have written about it before, but still all these slow suicide drug-abusing sex-addicted gay dudes can't see that. There is more value to your life then just fucking and drugging it away.

Now do I hate myself, or do I just see right through you?

I-I recommend getting your pride trampled on by anyone. (It's overdone)

Was that on purpose?

Seriously. Do you really expect me to look down on someone else's life and someone else's choices just to convince people that as a gay man I actually have been in love with my one guy for the last 12 years?

I don't think hooking up would ever have been for me. And I truly do love my guy. But I also don't look down on other guys who are enjoying some sincere fun, companionship and hot times with another guy even though they aren't in a lifelong relationship. It isn't shameful. It isn't even a failure. At most, if someone has a goal of a lifelong relationship, then it could be a distraction.

I recommend a lifelong relationship. So far so good, knock on wood.

But it is not the only way to enjoy life, even though it's working for me...and even if it is someone's goal, good old 1950's virginal chastity is not the only way to get there.

 

[KaraBulut]

Guys- while you're welcome to discuss Sarah Palin and Madonna in the forums, this is a thread started by someone asking the question:

I guess my question is: what is my next step? It's kinda hard to not be slutty and be gay (shhhh! from my view point xD)?

These last few posts are off-topic and aren't addressing the question asked by OP.

There be trolls in these forums. They want to bring their baggage into threads like this and take them off-topic. Don't feed the trolls.

Read the post at the beginning of the thread and ask yourself, "Am I talking to the person who has asked for advice?". If the answer is "No", then your post is probably belongs in another thread.

And always keep in mind that this section of the forum is a "No Flame Zone".

 

[Lube]

To the OP:

If you want sex, go to a hookup site to get sex. Nothing wrong with that.

If you want love, live your life in the real world. Have fun with your hobbies, and you'll find a like-minded person to do them with.

Join gay social groups. My bf and I get a lot of pressure (some subtle, some not so subtle) to play around. Most relationships are open. Ours isn't. I just very politely continue as if their shenanigans weren't noticed.

Hell, at a Halloween party last night, one (cute! young!) guy groped my crotch and squeezed my ass a couple times. I just smiled and continued talking. I don't think he's a jerk or anything, but I'm just not gonna give him what he's after. Most guys would, so I don't have a problem with him trying to get what he wants. More power to him. But it's not what I want. So I just deflect this advances.

Happens to my bf all the time (he's the sexier one). He deflects their advances, too.

Go for what you want in life. And you'll be happier.

 

[chance1]

To the OP:

If you want sex, go to a hookup site to get sex. Nothing wrong with that.

If you want love, live your life in the real world. Have fun with your hobbies, and you'll find a like-minded person to do them with.

Join gay social groups. My bf and I get a lot of pressure (some subtle, some not so subtle) to play around. Most relationships are open. Ours isn't. I just very politely continue as if their shenanigans weren't noticed.

Hell, at a Halloween party last night, one (cute! young!) guy groped my crotch and squeezed my ass a couple times. I just smiled and continued talking. I don't think he's a jerk or anything, but I'm just not gonna give him what he's after. Most guys would, so I don't have a problem with him trying to get what he wants. More power to him. But it's not what I want. So I just deflect this advances.

Happens to my bf all the time (he's the sexier one). He deflects their advances, too.

Go for what you want in life. And you'll be happier.

loved reading this post

my bf and i of 2 yrs often get the direct approach from guys in clubs - and a grab is sorta a compliment - as long as it's not over the top or persistent despite "no thanks"

some of our friends who are couples have regular/semi regular 3 ways or engage in sex with others solo - just don't think that works for me

as for the thread writer - bottom line IMO is if you feel badly about your actions and that you're unhappy .............. try to stop - might take some time - you're in charge