Gay with a Disability

[inurass247]

Hi Guys,

This is what happened to me. I was in a motorcycle accident which in turn left me disabled(wheelchair user). I have been lucky in the sense that I’ve kept pretty positive and that I have a great family who supported me post accident even when I came out as gay. I have also met an amazing guy and we’ve been together 5 months now.

I have a question for you all, would you date someone with a disability? Would you stay with your partner should you become disabled?

I’m open to any questions you might have. This is purely just out of curiosity as I have had many guys tell me they wouldn’t meet up/date/have sex with me because of it.

Looking forward to hearing from you

 

[eastofeden]

Hi Guys,

This is what happened to me. I was in a motorcycle accident which in turn left me disabled(wheelchair user). I have been lucky in the sense that I’ve kept pretty positive and that I have a great family who supported me post accident even when I came out as gay. I have also met an amazing guy and we’ve been together 5 months now.

I have a question for you all, would you date someone with a disability? Would you stay with your partner should you become disabled?

I’m open to any questions you might have. This is purely just out of curiosity as I have had many guys tell me they wouldn’t meet up/date/have sex with me because of it.

Looking forward to hearing from you✌��

I absolutely would stay with my guy if he became disabled...I wouldn't even consider not staying with him....

I don't date anyone as I have been with my guy for over 30 years but before that..I would have sex with a disabled guy..or a relationship...but no dates. I would get to know him organically as I do anyone else.

 

[mcbrion]

Yes. My late ex-lover died from AIDS (an experience not unfamiliar to many guys on here) and I was his sole caretaker. I was 30 when the first article appeared about a "gay cancer" back in June 1981, so by 32, there were acquaintances and friends who developed kaposi sarcoma (which you almost never see these days) and needed help, because it was disfiguring, and they didn't want to go outside of the Castro alone. Or they were too weak. It became part of your existence to care for others.

I think that, if you're older, you've experienced this more than if you're younger (not to cast shade on younger gay brothers), so it doesn't seem odd at all. Besides which, when you GET older, you acquire major or minor forms of disability yourself (bad knees, neuropathy, heart problems, diabetes or maybe something less serious, such as arthritis).
Maybe I'm misreading, but when you say disability, do you mean deaf/blind/wheelchair-bound/mute? Or do you just mean something other than what I've already mentioned? I get the sense that you're asking something that I'm missing.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I have a question for you all, would you date someone with a disability? Would you stay with your partner should you become disabled?

Honestly, it would depend on the disability and how the person coped with it.

 

[inurass247]

Spinal cord injury, means wheelchair user.

Pretty upbeat and positive. Not easily brought down.

 

[KaraBulut]

Spinal cord injury, means wheelchair user.

Pretty upbeat and positive. Not easily brought down.

That would not be a problem.

 

[Mikestead73]

I had a gay student with Multiple Sclerosis. He had a lisp, couldn't walk without crutches, and he was very depressed thinking he would never find anyone. While I was browsing a particular dating site, I found someone with his exact same condition in another state. Long story short, I hooked them up, the other guy moved down here to Florida with him, and they are soulmates. Yay me. Just had to share that.

 

[Georgiadude]

It wouldn't bother me at all. If he's a good person and we click why would I care?

Steven

 

[Auberon]

For me the biggest thing about anything like this is the attitude. And it's not just to disabilities, it's in general. If you want to basically give up and whoa is me it's just not going to be a match.

 

[Seasoned]

Just as there will be people obsessed with appearaane there will also be people who look for connection above all else.

 

[MrBubulino]

Honestly, it would depend on the disability and how the person coped with it.

First I was going to say "of course, I'd stay with my partner if he became disabled" but then this post got me thinking, really. And I think I agree.

I think I would see my partner differently, but I would try to share my strenght with him. When I'm in a commited relationship, I give my 100%, and I do my best to make the other person feel happy, love himself as much as I love them, and make him feel like he can lean on me. Especially during tough times. If despite all that they're still ungrateful for what they have (because let's face it, disability is not the worst thing that could happen to you), I would probably get tired of the attitude and negativity.

I've known people who have had really bad reactions to shit that has happened to them, and I try to stay positive and share my love. But there's a limit, and I won't try to force you out of a state of mind that you don't want to get out of. I've had terrible things happen to me too, even though I don't have a disability, and I still try to value the people who show me love.

So yeah, as KaraBulut said, it depends on how the person coped with it.

 

[racer2438]

I would not even have to think twice about it....I would date a disable person also........this August 6th will be 34 yrs together and 5 yrs married one August 7th....

 

[novo174]

Yeah probably. We all have issues. I'm physically fine but mentally neurotic.