Gays are still not perceived as normal

[Paws]

This weekend was Pride where I live and of course all the medias use pictures of the silly fags in costumes for their news reports

 

[Jory]

As the saying goes; "If it Bleeds it leads."

 

[Sunshine]

Duh!

 

[Kulindahr]

Too bad no lesbians dress up in pre-Victorian attire, with gaudy elegant dresses -- and bare breasts.

 

[Paws]

Too bad no lesbians dress up in pre-Victorian attire, with gaudy elegant dresses -- and bare breasts.

Closest that comes to it: http://offstream.ch/galerie?page=inline&id=1682

 

[Croynan]

Well, the Jews...

how did they get involved in this discussion. care to finish you sentence and or explain what you are getting at with the comment you have made? let's see how good a rationale you can come up for your non sequitur comment.


eM.

 

[The Warmth]

ITT self-hating gays bitch about how much they hate themselves and agree with the media in hating them.

 

[spearsfan20]

I am 100 percent gay and am not ashamed to be who I am. But I don't see the reason for me to wave my big pride flag in the air declaring to the world that "I am proud to be gay!"

There are other stuff that I am prideful about--not just only being gay. I think being out and proud is good enough without parading my giant colorful rainbow flag to everybody.

 

[undisclosed1234]

Hum....parade gays as I call them, are not normal. It used to be "We're here, we're queer, get used to it' not its just 'we're here, look how outrageous we can be'.

Up here in Montreal its usually just a sex club on wheels with people getting naked, sucking dildos in the streets (yes), and groping random guys while wearing makeup and being dressed in drag or leather.

Of course I'm not going to participate! Don't expect to be considered normal when this is the image that we're projecting of gays.

It has nothing to do with self-hate because while its cool if you are, it's just not who I am. And if you truly believe that every gay guy out there is a Chris Crocker inside and that those who don't wear boas are just ''fighting it'' then I just feel incredibly sad for you.

 

[spearsfan20]

is this another gay civil war thread?? i dress more moderately but i have nothing against guys in boa's and hot-pants. which side should i be on??

I will break my silence because I don't ever talk about this too much. But I used to wear Foundation makeup a few years ago while I was in college. If that wasn't enough, I wore a bit of lip gloss and eyeliner. I went to a college in a small town (50 miles from where I live). That area has some homophobia issues but I am lucky I wasn't beaten or tormented by people in that area. However, I think I made a terrible impression on people who wanted to view gays as normal like the rest of society.

I am very happy that I got out of that phase. It wasn't for me and I honestly believed it put a negative stereotype on a few gay people at my school. I still get manicures and pedicures, shop in the mall, and still hang out with a bunch of girls and have a fabulous time. I used to be the type that brought on the gay stereotype but I had to make a change so I can be a positive example to other gays who are "coming out" or need a gay mentor to help them (especially with older teens and guys around my age).

 

[undisclosed1234]

Someone recently asked whether we still need gay pride parades. My answer:

As long as there is anti-LGBT discrimination, we will need parades.
As long as school boards refuse to include positive messages about gay people in school (or encourage/ignore homophobic messages taught in school), we will need parades.

Communities need to see which elected officials and candidates for office choose to march in the parades, which ones will accept prominent positions (eg grand marshals) in the parades.

Communities also need to see that not all gay people conform to the stereotypes that the media and popular culture are so enamored with. There are average-joe police officers, teachers, college students, ministers, athletes, etc etc who are lesbian and gay, or who support people who are, and whose gayness would be largely invisible if they did not march in parade.

It's fine for the media to show some images of outlandish-looking marchers. But they should not just show those marchers - they should also show the very ordinary-looking marchers as well, who (at least at the parades I've attended in the US & Europe) make up the majority of marchers.

That's a very tall soap box but the fact of the matter is that gay parades stopped being about gay issues and awareness a long time ago. If you think dancing with assless chaps while tripping E is going to do anything to stop, slow, or lower any of those serious incidents you talked about, you're sorely mistaken friend.

 

[spearsfan20]

This is how I used to look in 2006 while I was still in my makeup phase.

 

[undisclosed1234]

you know you're choosing to see this. i think it harbors something in you. maybe you can work out these issues. plus how do you know awareness stopped?

I'm not choosing to see anything, mate. Just going by the overall image. Are there a few good souls handing out pamphlets? Yes. Is it mostly just a stereotypes dreamcoat? Yup.

I've been to most of Montreal's parades for the past 11 years since i live at the juncture of the village and downtown so my area is pretty much one of the biggest centers of the parade. I've also been to Boston's and one in Virginia (passed through the same day, got stuck in traffic).

And like I said, party heartie, its your business.... Just don't expect the media not focus on the extravaganza they largely are. It's certainly no longer the social march it was supposed to be and its foolish to pretend that having a rave through the streets is furthering any cause.

 

[Swellegant]

^ And one seldom sees them on the news, either.

 

[Paws]

if you think the evening news validates you as a gay person, you should change your thinking.

Evening news? It's in all the newspapers. I want straight people to validate and therefore accept me. I wouldn't want to hear a "So, how did you dress up like last weekend? Is there one day you fags act normal?" by straight co-workers and have them constantly pick on me and joking about it so I couldn't concentrate.

Medias have the power to influence ignorant people or confirm an opinion. You're one of hundreds that can read between the lines and not get affected, because you're gay too. Many straight people still need to be convinced that we're not a loony bin, but part of them.

There is no doubt those people were showing their pride, but what I think paws is trying to point out is that the media instead of causing a paradigm shift in our thinking of what gay men and women "look like" they fall back on showing and perpetuating the stereotypes that so many people are against, and use those images to push forward their anti-gay, anti-human rights agendas.

Exactly. I just went through the read comments on one Pride news report and of course you had quite a few "how disgusting and frivolous" these gays and lesbians are. One even wrote how we should hide in a hotel room for our activities, although I never saw a gay couple having sex outdoors yet, most don't even dare to kiss in public.

The fact of the matter is that flamboyant people, men, do represent a significant portion of the gay community, and to submit to the ignorance and hate by dismissing them as lowly derelicts while declaring ones normalcy is total bullshit.

If I look at the pictures of the Pride parade on gay sites, I see more casually dressed gays and lesbians than clowns.

If I look at the newspapers, they focus on the flamboyant gays rather than the boring "everyday" ones.

This means we gays need to be shown that we are normal, as if we didn't know already, while the masses are still shown we're silly?

 

[luminum]

I guess Paws never started the discussion about what gays "ought" to be doing, just presented the issue preluding it. So perhaps people took it and made the small leap to the more explosive issue therein.

Was he just trying to point out that the media's continued attention to the flare at gay pride indicates that heteronormative society still perceives queer individuals as being largely flashy and "odd"? he may not have meant anything about cause-and-effect of flashy pride celebrations. ::shrug::

It's an interesting conclusion to draw and it could be true. But I believe more that the media is promoting the false idea of the spectacle more than society is believing it. Like others have said, when has the media ever portrayed things comprehensively and as they actually are?

I for one love Pride and all the individuals who participate, whether they do it to be flashy, to get an erotic thrill, to show their support and how far we've come, to feel welcome and accepted, or just to party.

 

[tonyboy]

Well, the Jews...

Paws started a great thread here about the Gay Pride Parade in his city.

The comments have been all over the place. So getting back the gay pride thing.

I live in a very conservative city... Salt Lake City, Utah. A few years ago the local news stations would show the flamboyant gay floats and such. And yeah, it was quite embarrasing. As a gay man (but not out) I was ashamed that the focus on TV was the people that were far off from the mainstream of the gay folks I'd know.
Yeah, I've know lot's of the flamer type in the past. But that is not the way that I liked to see us presented to the general public. Most of us are not like that after all.
But about two years ago the local new stations started to show a different side.
They didn't focus on showing the scantily clad men and women. They showed pictues of all the people that were viewing the parade from the sidelines. The focus recently has been on men and women that were just out to support the gay community.
Sure they'd show the floats and the bikers and the dancers, etc. But they weren't focusing soley on the flamboyant folks.
That made me very happy. Sure the other side was still there, and the people that watched the Pride Parade could see it all. The point though is that the news media were not just focusing on that stuff.
All four local stations were showing a parade filled with floats, and pagentry.
I believe they made a conscious effort to give the general public a view of gay men and women that had been sorely lacking in previous years.

The general public (especially here) has viewed gays as a bunch of freaks.... and that was an image that was perpetuated by their broadcasts of previous years of the gay pride parade since all the focus was on the flammers.
I'm proud of the way that the local media has changed the way they protray that parade now.
The biggest parade here is to celebrate the Mormon Pioneers that came to this valley in 1847. It draws 250,000 people to it every July.
Now though the second largest parade in SLC is the Gay Pride Parade that takes place the first weekend in June every year.

Sure we still have the flamboyant floats and dikes on bikes, all that stuff.... but the important thing is that is not the focus of the local media.
And they always do a piece on the charity work that local gay clubs do.

If it can happen in SLC, Utah.... well, it can happen anywhere. And I think that has certainly done a good job in changing opinions and thoughts of straight people here toward the gay community.

 

[pizzaprof]

ITT self-hating gays bitch about how much they hate themselves and agree with the media in hating them.

ITT a goon is spotted.

 

[tonyboy]

ITT a goon is spotted.

I don't mean to get off topic.... but I have to ask.... what does ITT mean?