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Gays virgins and labels

D

DaviiSkye

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I recently went out on a date with my ex boyfriend of 2years. Well one thing led to another and after a few drinks we found ourselves at his place. Just as we were about to do it I stopped him (just so everybody knows I'm a virgin) he got angry and upset and said that the fact that I didn't have sex with him was the reason why he dumped me and said that he could go to fuck any gay guy right now and they wouldn't care about "virginity" or even who he is. It got me thinking. How in society gays are seen as these horny people who will do anything to get off. They associate and blame us for things such as incest beastiality and peodophillia ,but these are things straight people do aswell.so why must we get blamed.bec of our orientation ? Its not that I'm religious or anything or like that. But I just believe having sex with someone who is fully committed to me and I feel is the right person to do it with whether I find that person tomorrow or when I'm 50.... Is that so wrong?! :(
 
DaviiSkye said:
I recently went out on a date with my ex boyfriend of 2years. Well one thing led to another and after a few drinks we found ourselves at his place. Just as we were about to do it I stopped him (just so everybody knows I'm a virgin) he got angry and upset and said that the fact that I didn't have sex with him was the reason why he dumped me and said that he could go to fuck any gay guy right now and they wouldn't care about "virginity" or even who he is. It got me thinking. How in society gays are seen as these horny people who will do anything to get off. They associate and blame us for things such as incest beastiality and peodophillia ,but these are things straight people do aswell.so why must we get blamed.bec of our orientation ? Its not that I'm religious or anything or like that. But I just believe having sex with someone who is fully committed to me and I feel is the right person to do it with whether I find that person tomorrow or when I'm 50.... Is that so wrong?! :(
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Christ almighty.

One thing led to another....

And then I stopped him.


C'mon.

No wonder he dumped you.

If after 2 years you still hadn't had sex and he put up with it....you definitely weren't meant for one another.

2 years.

Really????

WTF were the two of you doing all that time?
 
^
Rareboy. They could have been 'making love'. You shouldn't assume every gay man is a Sex-pig.
 
Oh, for fuck's sake! I would have dumped your outdated, Puritanical ass, after 2 months, much less 2 years. This guy deserves the patience of Job award! Your "virginity" or "cherry" is some bizarre fantasy world you or of some religious nonsense, has infected your thinking and common sense. Come on! Why are you so prudish? Were you sexually abused as a child? (in which case this whole thing makes sense, but meaning you should get some help)
 
rareboy said:
C'mon.

No wonder he dumped you.

If after 2 years you still hadn't had sex and he put up with it....you definitely weren't meant for one another.

2 years.

Really????

WTF were the two of you doing all that time?
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@Rareboy --

Who are you to judge other people's relationships? It may come as a surprise to you, but NOT all gay men are promiscuous, and some prefer to wait to make sure they have met "Mr. Right."

I am still a virgin, and I totally understand where the OP is coming from. I want my first time to be special, to be with a man I want to hopefully spend the rest of my life with.......

I don't want my first time to be some random guy from Craigslist, Adam4Adam, or Grindr.

Call me old fashioned, but I think it's charming to date for a while, then court, and then your man gets you an engagement ring. "No ring, no sex."

Bottom bois, make sure you get some commitment from your man before giving away your cherry to your man. After all, in his mind, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? Don't be a hard rock when you truly is a gem! (Don't sell yourself short!)
 
MoltenRock III said:
Oh, for fuck's sake! I would have dumped your outdated, Puritanical ass, after 2 months, much less 2 years. This guy deserves the patience of Job award! Your "virginity" or "cherry" is some bizarre fantasy world you or of some religious nonsense, has infected your thinking and common sense. Come on! Why are you so prudish? Were you sexually abused as a child? (in which case this whole thing makes sense, but meaning you should get some help)
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Oh yes, MoltenRock.

In another thread, you wanted me to sleep around with other men to "get more experience." Sorry but I'm not going to "slut it up" with other men, just because you told me to.

And then, surprisingly, people get mad when I make comments like "gay men are promiscous"...... :confused:
 
Yeah, good luck finding a guy who'll marry you before he finds out if the 2 of you are even sexually compatible.
 
One of my dearest girlfriends from college was a strict no-sex-before-marriage Catholic. And not one of those wishy-washy everything but sex types, either. She expected the guys she dated to respect that, and not pressure her. On the other hand, she was forthright with them from the beginning about her commitment to chastity and they had the choice to continue the relationship or not.

(She finally got married to and is, apparently, having excellent sex with a guy all the girls in the dorm called Hercules. Because of the muscles. So, it does work for some people.)

As long as you're being honest about your intentions not to have sex until marriage or commitment or some other pre-determined point, if they have a problem - it's their problem.

Having said that, you don't get to lord it over other people who choose to have sex. You're doing the best with what you know and other people are doing the best with what they know. (This is how my friend could keep me, the wanton harlot of our hall, as a bestie. She acknowledged that both choices were equally valid and informed by our different views on faith and life and stuff.)

Sorry for the TL;DR.
 
Why put pressure on each other talking about the first time being special?

It's as likely to be good as it's crap.

Whether it's your first time or your millionth.
 
JayQueer said:
Oh yes, MoltenRock.

In another thread, you wanted me to sleep around with other men to "get more experience." Sorry but I'm not going to "slut it up" with other men, just because you told me to.

And then, surprisingly, people get mad when I make comments like "gay men are promiscous"...... :confused:
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The problem with your "argument" is that you're fucking miserable, and bitching about your lot in life, and how badly you want a "White boyfriend". So frankly, your life philosophy ain't working all that great for you. Additionally, I would bet $1,000 that you would throw your legs up in a heartbeat for anyone who gave you 5 seconds of attention, given your penchant for blowing, str8, married, men, who's children you've babysat.

I have zero issues with anyone living their life in a way which gives them a sense of purpose and fulfillment. That said, I will call "bullshit" when a miserable, sad sack, laments their life, hating every moment of it, and yet refusing to change their worldview, or sexual "rules", especially when being a hypocrite.
 
MoltenRock III said:
The problem with your "argument" is that you're fucking miserable, and bitching about your lot in life, and how badly you want a "White boyfriend". So frankly, your life philosophy ain't working all that great for you. Additionally, I would bet $1,000 that you would throw your legs up in a heartbeat for anyone who gave you 5 seconds of attention, given your penchant for blowing, str8, married, men, who's children you've babysat.

I have zero issues with anyone living their life in a way which gives them a sense of purpose and fulfillment. That said, I will call "bullshit" when a miserable, sad sack, laments their life, hating every moment of it, and yet refusing to change their worldview, or sexual "rules", especially when being a hypocrite.
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LOL. Preach.
 
Ok, I have a problem with the way people throw around the word "virgin" on this site. The fact that one hasn't been buttfucked does not make one some virginal saint. If you've had a dick in your mouth or vice versa, you're not a virgin.



And on top of that, why do people have this idea that virginity is something to be put on a pedestal or "saved" for your soul mate? Because the Bible told you so?
 
JayQueer said:
Oh yes, MoltenRock.

In another thread, you wanted me to sleep around with other men to "get more experience." Sorry but I'm not going to "slut it up" with other men, just because you told me to.

And then, surprisingly, people get mad when I make comments like "gay men are promiscous"...... :confused:
Click to expand...

And blowing married guys isn't "slutting it up"?
 
asu1117 said:
Ok, I have a problem with the way people throw around the word "virgin" on this site. The fact that one hasn't been buttfucked does not make one some virginal saint. If you're had a dick in your mouth or vice versa, you're not a virgin.



And on top of that, why do people have this idea that virginity is something to be put on a pedestal or "saved" for your soul mate? Because the Bible told you so?
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No kidding!

Frankly, if you've had any kind of sexual contact where one, both, or all of you have reached orgasm, you ain't a fucking "virgin". Period! End of discussion! 'Nuff said!
 
tombastep said:
He said he wasn't religious.
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My point was not that he is necessarily religious himself but that religion is the driving force behind why some in our society think virginity should be this esteemed, saintly thing. The ideology that being a virgin makes someone pure is bullshit, it perpetuates the idea that sexuality is dirty.
 
tombastep said:
I didn't get the idea that he thought he was pure for being a virgin, just that he isn't ready to have sex with someone unless he is sure about the relationship.
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I was speaking in a more broad, general fashion because of the way some people in this thread (and in life) seem to hold the idea of virginity.


But to be more concise, how much longer than two years does it take one to become "sure" about a relationship enough to engage in sexual activity? I'd say that part of it plays into the fantasies we're shown as children of "perfect" relationships and soul mates living happily ever after.
 
DaviiSkye said:
I recently went out on a date with my ex boyfriend of 2years. I just believe having sex with someone who is fully committed to me and I feel is the right person to do it with whether I find that person tomorrow or when I'm 50.... Is that so wrong?! :(
Click to expand...


You say you were together for two years, so what exactly is your definition of committed? I don't have a problem with waiting for the right time at all, but do you know when that time is? Be careful not to build "the right time" into some impossible senario that will never happen. I would advise being open to the "best possible time" instead of the potentially mythic right one. Just be upfront and honest with whoever you date and, more importantly, be honest with yourself.
 
lucky7 said:
I think we'd need more details about his relationship before we make assumptions.

Personally, I know it's weird.. but if I like someone, I don't have sex with that person until I can have some kind of certainty they are really interested in me and then I might wait until it feels right. That may seem arcane and unnecessary, but there's something to be said about waiting for sex.. and by sex here I mean penetrative sex.
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And there is nothing wrong with doing things that way, I don't usually jump in bed with a guy I'm interested in dating right off either. But I'm talking weeks (usually, maybe longer depending on the situation) here, not years. After so long the "i'm not comfortable with him yet" reasoning begins to get very weak. And I am not presuming to know anything about the OP, I'm just stating my opinion.
 
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