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Girly Guys

I recently met someone who changed my perception on this issue. I met him through a mutual friend, and his name is Ralph, he was rather lispy, and had a bit of a high voice, but it wasn't annoying. I am usually immediately turned off, because I wouldn't want to be around a guy that perpetuates the gay stereotype. As the night progressed and I found out more and more about Ralph I realized just how wrong I was about him. He first off, was quite a looker, and despite my original displeasure at his demeanor he proved himself to be quite a manly man. First off, he works as a construction worker and played lacrosse in high school. He has a big dog named Axle and he was single. I was honestly puzzled by this and I asked him why he was single, and he said that not many gay guys stick around him long enough to find out about him because of their immediate reactions to him.

I felt really bad at that point, because I realized I was guilty of the same thing, and I realized that what I had done was a bit like what some straight guy would do to me if I wanted to be his friend. He would realize I was gay and give me the shrug off, and the posts thus far absolutely reek of that. And I think it's a bit telling how people have the gall to say "I'd have them as friends but I wouldn't date them", as if you need to explain that you would be friends with them? Shouldn't that be a given? Or do you feel that your distaste for men you perceive as feminine can be made up for as long as you say "I've got femmy friends".

Honestly, you people really need to take a long hard look at the reasons WHY you don't want a 'femmy'. And I can tell you one thing that is for certain, we like who we like because it's what society tells us is attractive. Do you dislike femmy guys because you would hate to be seen with one and have to introduce them as your boyfriend, or because you genuinely find it unattractive?

Food for thought.
 
There's nothing wrong with being unattracted to that, but it doesn't mean something can never grow there, between ourselves and guys of this feminine persuasion. It might just be the way they look or carry themselves, but in reality they have nothing uber-girly like JJFlame was explaining.

A pity it does happen, and I agree that we should get to know someone before ANYTHING can grow, and that means anyone, not just these kinds of guys. But as for being sexually unattracted to them, there's nothing really.... wrong in claiming that.
 
Lalada said:
I have one gay friend who's so much more girly than one of my lesbian friends... It's hilarious watching them needless to say.
Click to expand...

I have several straight friends that are so much more girly than several lesbians I know.
 
Sometime girly guys are fucking hot, sometimes they aren't. It isn't the femininity of a guy that gets me, but instead the personal connection. Each person is different.
 
I thought we were talking straight up nelly gay? There are lots of variations. I said I don't like those super femmie, half shirt...(read my last post for rest) guys. The guy this one guy in his post described doesn't sound that fem. I like regular guys. Anyone to fem or way to butch isn't a real person to me. But we are gay and of course butch will attract us more. No one really wants fem cause fem is like dating a woman. I wouldn't date anyone that wore a cock ring either and that's not really a fem thing at all. Fem guys don't seem real to me. It's like they are a cartoon of a person.One dimensional (with glitter).
 
I'm not too into feminine guys...I'm always polite when they approach me though. I'm never against making friends.
 
it probably sounds like i'm jumping on the bandwagon, but i don't like them at all. For some reason they creep me out... even guys who are just a little fem. creep me out. I'll be nice to them but more than likely i won't be their friends or date them. Hope i dont offend anyone but that's just the way i think =\
 
JJFlame said:
I recently met someone who changed my perception on this issue. I met him through a mutual friend, and his name is Ralph, he was rather lispy, and had a bit of a high voice, but it wasn't annoying. I am usually immediately turned off, because I wouldn't want to be around a guy that perpetuates the gay stereotype. As the night progressed and I found out more and more about Ralph I realized just how wrong I was about him. He first off, was quite a looker, and despite my original displeasure at his demeanor he proved himself to be quite a manly man. First off, he works as a construction worker and played lacrosse in high school. He has a big dog named Axle and he was single. I was honestly puzzled by this and I asked him why he was single, and he said that not many gay guys stick around him long enough to find out about him because of their immediate reactions to him.

I felt really bad at that point, because I realized I was guilty of the same thing, and I realized that what I had done was a bit like what some straight guy would do to me if I wanted to be his friend. He would realize I was gay and give me the shrug off, and the posts thus far absolutely reek of that. And I think it's a bit telling how people have the gall to say "I'd have them as friends but I wouldn't date them", as if you need to explain that you would be friends with them? Shouldn't that be a given? Or do you feel that your distaste for men you perceive as feminine can be made up for as long as you say "I've got femmy friends".

Honestly, you people really need to take a long hard look at the reasons WHY you don't want a 'femmy'. And I can tell you one thing that is for certain, we like who we like because it's what society tells us is attractive. Do you dislike femmy guys because you would hate to be seen with one and have to introduce them as your boyfriend, or because you genuinely find it unattractive?

Food for thought.
Click to expand...

Good point! *munch* *munch* *munch* I agree, only up TO a point, though. I am fine with anyone who is feminine as a part of who they are, as a friend OR in a relationship.

I am NOT fine with anyone who has MADE themselves feminine in order to fit an IMAGE. Most of them end up like the goths, or the emos... in their quest for uniqueness, and "self-expression," they all end up exactly the same.

Lisps and flamboyance are all bullshit, learned behavior. They aren't whats intrinsically feminine... they're whats stereotypically, superficially feminine. You may have these traits or you may not, but you def. weren't born with them.

Now, INNATE femininity is something else. Guys with bone structure that would simply get snapped in half on the football field, guys that go home and cry after their girlfriends say something unintentionally mean to them :rolleyes: Guys that you have to handle like the delicate flowers that they are. Traits that they have always had, always will have, and can't help but to have.

Needless to say, you can be just superficially feminine, just innately feminine, or you can be both. Innately feminine gays often get hooked and trapped into superficial femininity too, though, it's a pity. Feminine straights don't feel that social need, obviously.

It's mainly the attention to superficiality that I find unattractive, and I mean superficial in a literal sense. There are superficial parts to people- what they look like, sound like, how they act, all of which is usually determined by who they want to relate to. Skin deep: mannerisms, clothes, etc. I like friends who value themselves based on their interiors rather than their exteriors. These are the people who will pay attention to, nourish, and cultivate themselves, not the image they portray. Generally, these people will be a little awkward, haha... which makes sense.

Rarely, you get people who value their insides, and have adopted an image just for the convenience of surface conformity. They're alright, too.

To sum up, I don't like femmes, but not any more so than I don't like 'gangsta' or preppy kids. I don't think I could spend the rest of my life (if I don't think a friendship or relationship could possibly be lifelong, I don't pursue it) with someone who takes an image and makes it who they are- our minds would be incompatible.

A little more food for thought :corn:
 
Meaning, if the gay stereotype wasn't lisps and limp wrists, and was instead that gay guys dance around fires and slaughter lambs, thats what the femme guys would be doing.
 
Everyone needs to read JJFlame's post.

I have no problem with "girly guys" and who they are. They take the most crap from our homophobic society because they are "visibly the most gay." Consider them the soldiers on the front line fighting for our cause to be equal.

In terms of attraction, I'm not into make-up and women's jeans.
 
GayMiamiBoy69 said:
I like femy men. They're more fun and alot more sexually active in relationships.
Click to expand...

Though I love tough guys, GayMiamiBoy speaks truth to me. Girly boys are entertaining & I suspect have a higher libido.....[maybe Ive been bottoming too much lately, lol].

Anyway, give me muscle with a twist of rough sex from time to time.
 
I'm not overly keen on OTT fem guys, but a little fem is fine (metrosexual fem).

Would I ever date a fem guy, not sure depends on the guy like I said if they were way over the top then its a deff no! Like others have said if I want a girl I would get one!

I prefer guys who are like me I suppose, a little bit fem in the sense that they care about how they look, long hair, smaller frame *points to photo gallery* think that gives a good idea of the kind of guys I like. No offence but the type of guy who would have a hissy fit over breaking a nail is a serious turn off to me!

That said give me a guy I'm attracted to, share common interests with, can talk to or just spend time with and want to do it just for the sake of it and it wouldn't matter if they were super fem, really butch or anything. The surface is great for initial reactions and attractions but its the personality undreneath that makes the difference.
 
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