Giving my best friend head

[anfstud69]

I need some intellectual advice from you all.
Last night was super crazy, I'm trying my best not to turn this into a "sex story" but it's about me coming out to my best friend.

I met this guy in my spanish class after I got transferred in there, we had small talk because he sat a couple of desks away from me. I added him on myspace a couple of days later. He commented me and asked if I wanted to chill. Oh yeah, at this point, I'm not out and I didn't suspect at all that he was gay/bi. We went to this club together and hung out for about 3 days straight. Him and I agreed that we've never met anyone that we felt had so much in common with eachother. We were attached at the hip; best friends, bros. We hung out with a group of people for new years and everything. The night after new years me and him were watching Wedding Crashers and I told him I had something on my mind and it was bothering me. I didn't tell him yet but a little bit into the movie, me and him had a conversation and I basically told him I was bi. I've never told anyone before but I was so comfortable with him and I knew he would understand. Me and him think so much alike so I was even thinking he had the exact same thing on his mind; and after all the talk and everything, the conclusion was that we were both bi.

It was about 3 hours later when things started heating up. We were laying on his bed and talking and all of the sudden, he asks me about my dick size and stuff. He pulled out his dick and DAMN it was huge. (Fast Forward) We got bored and started watching porn, We were both soo horny and he asks me if I would give him head. I told him yeah I would, but he thought about it and he told me he didn't want to ruin our friendship. He was scared things would be awkward. But I ended up giving him head anyway. The next day was pretty normal, I went home and he texted me and said "things better not be awkward between us" and i replied and said "hell no. i wont let that happen. i love you bro" and he said "ight love u too". After that was when things went downhill. Usually he calls me at night to talk and stuff but I didn't get any calls. So, I called him and I heard background noise. It sounded like some girls and other people and he told me he would call me back but never did. I thought this was really strange because he would've invited me if he was having people over or if he was going out. I texted him and he said that he had some people over and I didn't text back. We haven't talked since. I really don't want things to be awkward between us but HE'S making it awkward. HE asked me to give him head. I really don't want to lose him as a best friend, I've never met anyone like him before. I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him.

I need your advice. Thanks so much for reading this, I really do appreciate it.

 

[anfstud69]

Thanks Matt, I don't want to call him or try and reach out to him because if he wanted to talk to me, he would've done so already. I don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard to get his attention and become irritable. Thats why I've just ignored him, I'm trying to forget about it.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Yup. Reach out to him by giving it one more try. If he fails to respond, let this be his problem.

If a dude sees one off BJ as a major reason to let you go out of his friendship, he is doing you a huge favor. Move on.

SC

 

[supergurl]

After all that...you had to have asked yourself was the dick worth it?

 

[HartfordGuy]

Dude, you shouldn't have texted "I love you Bro" the day after. Even in closing.

You may have said it casually like a bud, but in text form, there is no way to convey the signifcance or insignificance of the statement. No doubt he kept staring at those words later, then kicked himself for saying it back. It was just a blowjob, now he thinks you are in love with him.

He'll come calling when he gets horney again. But the more you call him the further you'll push him away.

 

[KaraBulut]

anfstud69:

You can speculate on what is going on in this guy's head but until he sorts it all out, he's not going to be ready to talk to you about it.

Most guys, gay or straight, sleep with a good friend at some point in their life. It is very difficult to figure out the new rules of the relationship afterward- can we still be friends? was it a one time thing? will it happen again? is the other person going to fall in love with me?

Add to this the complicated things that go on in a straight guy's head when he has sex with another guy, and you've got a very complicated emotional situation for everyone.

All I can recommend to you is that you give your friend space to deal with whatever it is he's going through. Don't spend a lot of energy speculating on what he's thinking or feeling because you cannot know until he's ready to talk. All you can do is let him know you're still his friend and when he's ready to talk, you're ready to listen.

 

[billybob109]

Dude, you shouldn't have texted "I love you Bro" the day after. Even in closing.

You may have said it casually like a bud, but in text form, there is no way to convey the signifcance or insignificance of the statement. No doubt he kept staring at those words later, then kicked himself for saying it back. It was just a blowjob, now he thinks you are in love with him.

He'll come calling when he gets horney again. But the more you call him the further you'll push him away.

totally agreed it was way to early and all he wanted was a blowjob. What you should of asked him before you did any of this if this was his first time doing such. let us know the update

 

[innocentbychoice]

Give him space.

Find something to do, get distracted and don't think about him and do not call him.

If he's having a problem with this, let him deal with it and he'll come back to you. Whenever he does, try not to look desperate or anxious and just roll with it. Ask as many questions as you want and clear anything you feel needs to be cleared.

 

[StlKj]

I agree with everyone who has said to leave it alone. You're reading into his every action and inaction, and that is going to make him see that you are the one making it awkward. You gave him a bj, you didn't marry him. Don't act jilted until you know for sure, from his own extended absence or his own words, that you've been jilted.

And if you have been? Well, as sad it is may be, you got to live out a fantasy many people would kill for, so lick your wounds, hug yourself, have a cry, and know better the next time.

 

[Polyurethanne]

anfstud69:
I think if that guy was your true friend, he would have tried to get in touch with you after the BJ episode happened, but, may be he just wanted to get late with a guy and you were the option. He's not worth it, trust me I've been in that case before, I know how you feel, but don't worry, you'll get over it pretty soon, he is not the only man in the world.

 

[Kat4488]

I think your friend is acting like a little brat and certainly not like a friend. If one of my friends did that to m, it would be horrible, but in the end, I woucome to the conclusion that he really wasn't that good of a friend to begin with

 

[Eagle653]

Dude, you shouldn't have texted "I love you Bro" the day after. Even in closing.

You may have said it casually like a bud, but in text form, there is no way to convey the signifcance or insignificance of the statement. No doubt he kept staring at those words later, then kicked himself for saying it back. It was just a blowjob, now he thinks you are in love with him.

He'll come calling when he gets horney again. But the more you call him the further you'll push him away.

I, too, think HartfordGuy may have zeroed in on the problem.

That "love you" thing may have blown his mind, no matter how insignificant you may have meant it.

If you get the chance to talk with him again, bring it up and see if that was a problem. Explain to him that, no, you are not "in love" with him--it was just an expression.

See if that helps.

Otherwise, good luck!

 

[volumee]

Aww your so cute I think you should just let it be it's his fault not yours! Maybe he's just still shocked that one of his good friends sucked his cock. I think you should wait awhile if he doesn't talk to you after, i'd invite him to a party or a club or someshyt BEST OF LUCK TO YOU TWO

 

[anfstud69]

Thank you all so much for replying, I was so happy to log in and see all the replys I got. Alot of you agreed that I shouldn't have said "I love you bro" but we say that to eachother all the time, even before this blow job incident, and I think if that shocked him that I said that, he wouldn't have said "I love you too".

This guy.. I don't think I'll ever meet someone better. Litterally. He's the most amazing person every, we pretty much agree on everything and he has killer looks and I just love his personality. I can't just give him up, it would be like giving up a life long friend.

So today, he texted me right when I woke up and said "Sorry I didn't call you back" and I didn't respond for a while and I sent him this long text message saying "I've never waited for someone to call me before, I literally had my phone in my hand until I fell asleep. I don't care what you did when you hung out with those people or anything like that, It just seemed like you didn't want me there with you." and he texted back and said "no wtf its not even like that at all, they just showed up unexpectedly at my house, we are hanging out later for sure."

We ended up not hanging out. The party we were suppose to go to was cancelled and there was nothing to do tonight so we didn't go anywhere together.

I called him earlier a few times and he didn't pick up. I don't know whats wrong. It just doesn't feel the same as it did before. I think I should just give him time to chill out.

I want him to call me and spill his heart out to me. Thats what I want. But he's not going to.

I might've left out some stuff, I can't describe in full detail what's going on through my mind right now and what all happened. But thank you so much for caring.

 

[StlKj]

I might've left out some stuff, I can't describe in full detail what's going on through my mind right now and what all happened. But thank you so much for caring.

Yeah, little brother, you left out the part where you're falling in love with him.


Or already have.


Protect your heart as much as you can.

 

[billybob109]

keep us up with the updates and we can keep trying to helo you. I would keep on giving him the cold shoulder and let him come to you because it seems like he does not know what he wants from you and you are dwelling on his every phone call. Let him come to you and then you are in control

 

[SilverRRCloud]

He knows that you are hooked. He feels it, and he has started all kinds of games and frankly, more or less obvious lies.

Why? Because he can.

If you want this dude back, chill out immediately and do not attempt anything any more. The ball is in his court, so it's his turn to mend the fence...

SC

 

[spreadeagle]

You don't make it clear how long ago you two met in Spanish Class but the impression is that you have let things progress way too fast - I presume that you're both of college age and relatively inexperienced.

Call me old-fashioned, but lying with a friend on his bed is not an appropriate place to initiate a revelation about your sexuality simply because of the connotations of sexual intimacy that the physical surroundings possess - unless, of course, you had an ulterior motive.

That his response was to flop out his dick speaks volumes. I don't buy the connection between being bored and watching porn. The decision to start watching porn, whosever it was, was intended to progress the sexual intimacy further.

Somehow, even after he suggested that a blow-job might jeopardise your friendship, you still gave him head. In this little scenario there were plenty of opportunities to take responsibility for your actions and to assess the possible consequences. Now you're having to deal with the outcome of your failure to grasp those opportunities. This gets easier with experience.

Things are never the same and relationships constantly evolve - when a relationship is characterised by the need to be constantly in each other's company, repeating the same trite words and actions it is a sign that it is emotionally dead.

It's all well and good to define yourselves as bi, but when this is accompanied by a blow job that 'just happens' despite your partner's protestations, bandying about of the 'L' word and symptoms of jealousy when he spends time with women rather than you, then you are exemplifying the gay half of the bisexual equation more convincingly than he may be comfortable with.

It's impossible to assess the likelihood of the relationship picking up where it left off. What you can take from this is: don't watch porn with a person who isn't your lover; never give head to someone you haven't kissed first.

 

[bispunker]

I can't believe the responses to some fantasy post.

You all are so daft replying to this post.

 

[anfstud69]

Thank you so much spreadeagle, I felt like I was talking to my counselor or something, haha. You were right about things progressing too fast, I do agree with you. And his bed was actually a futon and that was the only place in the room that we could sit, it was basically like a couch. I knew that when we started watching porn that he was trying to "heat things up", and he knew that we would end up doing something. I should've ended the blow job scenario when he was thinking about if it would ruin our friendship but it was too late and we were already in the moment.

I did make out with him a for few minutes in between giving him head.