Giving my best friend head

[KaraBulut]

anfstud69:
This guy.. I don't think I'll ever meet someone better... I called him earlier a few times and he didn't pick up... I want him to call me and spill his heart out to me. Thats what I want.

Killjoke:
Yeah, little brother, you left out the part where you're falling in love with him.

I think Killjoke hit the nail on the head. The issue here is not your friend. The issue is you. You had feelings for your friend beyond just a friendship. You hooked up with your friend. And now you want your friend to say that he feels the same way that you do.

In my earlier response, I said that you needed to give your friend some time and space to work through things.

Based upon your last couple of posts, I'm going to say that you need to give yourself some space because you're getting emotionally involved in a way that goes beyond friendship. When a gay guy gets emotionally involved with a straight guy, a lot of people can end up getting hurt. At this point, you need to back off and try to recover your friendship with this guy. And you need to protect yourself because you're about to get hurt.

 

[StlKj]

I can't believe the responses to some fantasy post.

You all are so daft replying to this post.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt here, bispunker, since you appear to be pretty recent to posting. This is a no flame zone, meaning we don't take pot shots at people in here because they ask for advice, nor because they give it. Until a poster admits to lying, or until it becomes evident by inconsistencies or other suspicious details, we go with the information we have been given, or that is pretty evident between the lines.

If you're here to be a part of a community, great, welcome. If you're here just to criticize people for their willingness to give people a chance, then might I suggest you hang out more in Hot Topics.

And to keep this on topic, I'll say this here instead of in comments like I had planned to--spreadeagle's post here is the definitive response, IMHO.

 

[anfstud69]

I really do think I'm falling for him, when I fall for someone, I fall hard. I really need to chill out. Thank you all so much for the advice, I can't thank you more; and to bispunker-- I'm here to get advice, I don't know what you mean by fantasy post, if I were trying to make a "fantasy post", don't you think that I would've included alot more details about the blow job and such? Don't call these people "daft" for helping me out.

Me and him pretty much talked about everything and things are somewhat normal again, we both regretted doing that just because it jepordized our friendship. We still make plans to hang out and talk but I just don't feel things are completely the same as they were before, our bond was unbreakable and now it just feels like he's one of those friends that aren't really there for you all the time like a best friend is suppose to be. I told him that we should give eachother space for a while, I'm pushing him away because I know that if I start hanging out with him again, I'll have those same feelings for him, falling for him. I don't want to see him again until I sort things out and come to the fact that he's just my best friend, I, myself do not feel regretful about that incident because it was amazing and his dick WAS worth it. I guess if we want to continue being best friends, it will have to stay in a "best friend" zone, not a fuck buddy/friends with benefits zone. Although that would be nice. I don't know what I'm saying hahah. SHIT. whatever.

Before the blow job, me and him agreed that we were so glad we met eachother but now I don't know if we feel the same way.

 

[billybob109]

at least the dick was worth it! Hmmm nothing beats a straight hot cock! But im sure things will work ouy between you he will start to miss you soon and will come up to your house and start fucking you right in your doorway and then everything will be fine

 

[tallguy297]

I can't believe the responses to some fantasy post.

You all are so daft replying to this post.

Giving you the benefit of the doubt here, bispunker, since you appear to be pretty recent to posting. This is a no flame zone, meaning we don't take pot shots at people in here because they ask for advice, nor because they give it. Until a poster admits to lying, or until it becomes evident by inconsistencies or other suspicious details, we go with the information we have been given, or that is pretty evident between the lines.

If you're here to be a part of a community, great, welcome. If you're here just to criticize people for their willingness to give people a chance, then might I suggest you hang out more in Hot Topics.

And to keep this on topic, I'll say this here instead of in comments like I had planned to--spreadeagle's post here is the definitive response, IMHO.

Thanks for that Killjoke...

Bispunker, as a newbie maybe you dont fully realise what part of the site you are on or the rules of posting here in this forum... please understand that being a no flame zone, its important that we offer calm constructive advice and support - please mate, dont make comments that could flame or insult... one day you could be the guy needing that same support...



Anfstud, give this thing some time mate... you've covered an awful lot of ground both good and bad in what seems like a very short space of time... anyones feelings and emotions would get swept up in the whirlwind that unfolded here...

Just let the dust settle... feeling uneasy is not a bad thing, it shows that you learned a little about your heart, yourself... and about others. Thats something to feel good about... you learned a little about how important you are... about how you dont deserve to get messed around... you learned that others can hurt you... valuable lessons mate that already you have taken to heart with your doubt over the future friendship.

It takes time to build a friendship mate... a good one at least... it takes honesty and trust. Now he has to earn yours back. Dont push him away, just keep him at arms length a little. Take some time to really see this guy... hes not a bad person I dont think but he works differently to you... you need to figure out what that means for you and your friendship. You deserve understanding and truth - especially in a true friendship.

This guy would be lucky to have you in his life. You have value and worth. You have values and morals. You have the ability to care and love. Anyone would be grateful to have you around... you just need to understand that too Anfstud. Its up to him now as to how he values you... and up to you to accept that from him if you want to.

 

[anfstud69]

Wow, tallguy and recast, thank you so much too. Thank you all for posting, you don't know how much this means to me, everytime I think of him, which is alot. I come read the posts/replys over and over. I can see pimples starting to appear on my face with all of this stress haha. You all are so wonderful, it's like talking to my parents or something and the advice is so genuine and so helpful. I used to come here only for porn and stuff but I came to realized that there are so many great people here, it's amazing.

I'm going to post our myspace conversation-- I've changed the display name and that kind of info just for our privacy.

start from the bottom and read your way UP.

HIM-

haha ight then

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ME
Date: 04 Jan 2008, 02:54 AM


i wouldn't hang out with them if they werent cool

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: HIM
Date: Jan 4, 2008 2:53 AM


my mom doesnt have a problem with you??
and ar they cool?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ME
Date: 04 Jan 2008, 02:48 AM


its gonna be hard hangin out with you because of your mom, its just weird for me. its only gonna stop when i get my car back in late january and when im able to pick you up and chill somewhere. im chillin with cole, bryan and ashlee tomrrow. we'll come pick you up

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: HIM
Date: Jan 4, 2008 2:44 AM


hell yea broo.
thats all it is were bestfriends that shit should never happend,
its all good im not trying to avoid you or anything.
i just havent been doing anything either so dont think that..

were hanging out tomarrow ight.
you aint gunna lose me as a friend were bestfriends bro

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ME
Date: 04 Jan 2008, 02:39 AM


i never wanted to be more than friends, i understood that we were just friends and i wasn't trying to change that. you have to remember that youre the one that asked me to do it. i dont even think i am that way. i've only felt that way about you. i dont even know why. i dont wanna sound like a idiot but thats just how it is. after today, i was so scared to lose you as a friend, ive lost so many friends with the transferring of schools and stuff and i didn't want this to happen again, especially you. thats why i was so annoying with the phone calls and kept trying to get your attention and i was so paranoid that every little thing made me scared that you were trying to get away from me. idk thats all i gotta say but just do what you do but remember our bond before all of this shit

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: HIM
Date: Jan 4, 2008 2:33 AM


i dont thnk it did but,
if you think so then thats how you feel..

im just not doin that anymore,
were friends and thats just how it needs to be

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ME
Date: 04 Jan 2008, 02:30 AM


you can't say that the other night didn't ruin our friendship.. you know it did

 

[billybob109]

hmmm sounds like you are never getting that cock again. It looks like he wanted to try it once and did through you and conclusion a. did not like it b. loved it but afraid to come out

 

[anfstud69]

well i know he enjoyed it because when we were done, he said "that was the best blowjob ive ever had" i think he just meant that he didn't wanna do that anymore cause it would jepordize our friendship again but im sure when he gets horny when i'm with him, he'll ask me. and i'll say no. :]

 

[Kurn]

anfstud69---you're both new at this. A friendship is about something new every day.
I don't think doing that with him should be a life-long hang-up and you should tell HIM it isn't. If it happens it happens.
Everything that happens between two people is a little lesson. Make the lesson for something better whatever it is.
Learn to meditate: That is, set aside a time in which you learn to control your wandering thoughts. The more you do that, the more you have strength over your thoughts and the more your partnership will be evergreen.

Beware of just wanting to party with a friend. Get away from that or you'll get away from each other.

 

[rareboy]

Well, you're probably right and he'll just use you for a blowjob when there's no one else available and he's really horny.

But telling a guy you love him after just a blowjob is pretty savage.

When i was 19, I had a bi friend initiate the whole jerking off and blowjob thing and from that moment on we drifted apart; he just got weird.

C'est la vie.

By the way, it is 'he and I', not 'me and him.' Never put yourself first in a sentence.

 

[KaraBulut]

With a little grammatical editing:
That's all it is. We're bestfriends. That shit should never happened

Anfstud:
I think he's telling you everything you need to know in that one sentence.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Hi anfstud69!

I read your myspace conversation and it seems to me that he's just avoiding you because he wants to work things out, he needs his space to think. And maybe you're showing him you care TOO much about it, which might drive him away even more.

I think it's funny how we all told you to back off and try not to look desperate or anxious and then you go and write this:

"I've never waited for someone to call me before, I literally had my phone in my hand until I fell asleep. I don't care what you did when you hung out with those people or anything like that, It just seemed like you didn't want me there with you."

c'mon man! Just give him space to sort things out and try not to make a big deal out of this. I mean, I know it is a big deal, but don't show that to him. I know it's hard but act like you're cool and relaxed and just give him time. He's probably regretting what he did and is really scared to see you face to face and on top of that he's realizing you got all these feelings so try not to show him how anxious you are right now.

 

[slave4supernewty]

I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's only been a day or two. Sometimes people jest don't call. I haven't talked to my best friends in a week, we're fine.

 

[billybob109]

updates???

 

[RicksDick]

I dont want to turn this around into a story about me, but this is something that happened to me! Pretty much the WHOLE thing. My best friend is straight and I'm bi, and he knows that. He initiated some stuff with me once like licking my neck. The thing is though... the same thing happened, I ended up giving my best friend head. We said the whole "lets not let this get awkward."

And that's really what matters. Did he mean it when he said that? Ever since I gave my best friend head, he's kept his word and we act like nothing's changed. It's happened a 3 more times since then too (once was twice in one night). The thing is, your friend ASKED you to give him head... I told my friend I could give him head after he licked my neck. My best friend's never asked me to do it, whenever I ask him if he wants one, he always says "Only if you're comfortable with it." Granted, I can tell he really wants it, he's being considerate about me.

Your friend isn't being considerate about you. He asked you for head and now he's regretting it. These kind of stuff CAN ruin friendships but depending on how strong a friendship is, he shouldn't let it change things.

Who knows, maybe he's confused. Maybe he has feelings for you too but is trying to fight it because he doesn't understand what he's going through. Just give it time, you need to stop contacting him more than he contacts you (I know, this is a really tough thing to do but just try). Dont do it to an extent where neither of you will just end up not calling each other. Anyways, update us and let us know what's going on.

I wish you the best of luck!

 

[FunDude]

where are you? I'll be your best friend..

That guys a bit of a douche.

I'll also reciprocate, and make sure you have a great time.

 

[RAvenew]

This story is so universal
Here is my point. You are so lucky to have a friend that actually wants to be 'friends', you know what I am trying to say? I think a lot of guys fall for their friends once in their life time but that relationship burns badly becuase of the loose phrase ,"Im horny, just help me out"(when really they just want to be fuck buddies). Or they just dont want anyone to know they got head from a guy. But I think you should try to avoid the subject because if it made you this anxious/scared with one blow job, would you want false-hope if anything else should happen?

I really want you to be happy, Update Please!.

 

[texan_slant]

I agree with innocentbychoice.

Only a coupla days passed until that myspace conversation - when in fact, he might need more space. In my humble opinion, that sounded too clingy.