GL - Archived Blog Posts

[GL]

A very dear friend e-mailed this to me the other day.

THE 12 LABORS OF GAY HERCULES.
BY JASON RHODE

- - - -

1.

Come out to your loved ones in a way that is honest, unreserved, and will not kill your mother or emotionally cripple your father. Also, avoid the temptation to retort when Zeus says "Two? In my own family?" and shifts his eyes to Athena, goddess of wisdom. Later, in private, encourage Ares to follow your lead.

2.

When a well-meaning clan chief offers you the hand of his daughter in gratitude for cleansing his kingdom of wicked giants, find a way to decline politely. Also, try to cut him off before he begins to recite his exalted lineage in reply—and do so in a way that doesn't involve you saying, "Yeah, yeah, I was born of Zeus, too, pal."

3.

Commit to nonviolent protest of the "Don't ask the oracle, don't listen to the singer of tales" policy practiced by my fellow Argonauts. When they reply "Only those fully of mortals born lie with other men, Hercules!" (and they will), point out the obvious example of Achilles. That should shut them up.

4.

Write reply to the ignoramuses on that Internet message board, explaining that just because your name means "glory of Hera" doesn't mean that you're feminine, and how many hell dogs do you have to capture, anyway, to prove it?

5.

This summer, engage in no more drinking contests with Dionysus. They make you bitchy and oath breaking. Remember what happened with Prince Hylas at that lyre concert?

6.

Find a lion skin that makes you look less fat.

7.

Keep patience when some well-meaning Athenian bursts out, "Oh, so you must like Aristophanes' Will and the Graces!" Explain exactly why Aristophanes' play is offensive, and that, by all of the caverns of Hades, there are some things that even jackals would not laugh at, things that would only amuse a wine-bellied satyr fool.

8.

Do not panic about nearing 45 and not having settled down. Remember why you left the bar scene.

9.

Put aside dislike of the Amazons at this summer's Hercules-Hippolyta-Hermes-Tiresias roundtable. We're all on the same side. Hippolyta forgave you for that girdle-looting business; so do not sigh when she brings up Angelina Jolie. Again. Without unity, the community will be as weak as Antaeus was when you lifted him off his Mother Earth and crushed him.

10.

Explain in agora why the Pantheonist position of "Love the hero, hate the daemon" is such an amphoraful of shit.

11.

Learn to wrestle angry, giant bears—of both kinds.

12.

When cleansing the world of monsters to make the earth safe and habitable for humanity, remember that prejudice is the greatest monster of all.

Thanks for the link Jake.

 

[GL]

Well I went to the first night of my summer bowling league. This time around I decided I was not going to re-up with the gay league from last summer. It wasn’t a hard decision considering how disappointing last summer was.

I signed on knowing I was not attached to any one team and would end up taking an open slot somewhere. I don’t know if this is my being born under a good sign or something but I got picked up by a team with two guys I bowled with last summer and a couple of ladies. The two guys recognized me and we all seem to hit it off. We looked around the group and realized that this Thursday night league was ‘friendlier’ than we expected! Not to mention there were some really cute guys! I joked to the guys that when I noticed the gay folk in the room I had to wonder if I hadn't accidentally signed on for another gay league!

As it turns out this group has bowled together before so I was the odd man out getting to know everyone. For the most part I just listened to the conversations going on around me and much to my surprise one of the gals began talking about the New York comic-con! I sat up and asked her if she had been before and she said yes. In fact she’s been to San Diego and a bunch of other cons around the country. As we talked some more I came to realize that she is actually a professional artist whose work I was familiar with!

My goodness! We sat there and talked about the Iron Man movie and how much we loved it, we talked about the upcoming Hulk movie and how neither one of us was all that impressed with the trailers and we talked about how we were so disappointed with DC Comics for not making Bat Woman an ongoing book! And we were equally excited for the up and coming 'The Dark Knight!' She invited me to join a live cast she co-hosts, which I am listening to as I write this. We got along so well that the guys were teasing us already, 'Aww! They're partnered already!' As I was leaving she called out to me, ‘you better be back next week!’ I said I would.

I have to admit, she’s awesome. I have finally met someone who equals my alpha geek level and is actually in the industry! She would be so perfect for me if she were only a guy. Damn. And before anyone teases me she is in fact a lesbian.

Oh, and I actually bowled pretty well for not having hit the lanes in months! Anyhow, I have a good feeling about this one.

 

[GL]

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me!

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me!

*GOD !!!!!!!!*
PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
PUT ME OUT OF MY
PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING
MISERY..............

I've given up
I'm sick of living
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me!

 

[GL]

Damn it. We were discovered. My apartment complex’s management left us a friendly reminder that its time to re-up our lease. My brother and I have been living month to month without an updated lease for the last 16 months.

Now I know that isn’t right, we should have made some attempt to get that corrected but one month bled into another and somehow what was once a pressing issue became an after thought. Oh well, I can’t really quibble as we had 16 months of the same rent!

I did talk to my brother briefly and I told him that I am not interested in living here anymore. I don’t mind living with my brother but I’ve really come to dislike this complex. There are a whole bunch of reasons why I have come to my dissatisfaction but more than anything I just want to live someplace a little nicer than this. Sadly this property has come to feel like public housing.

I made it plain that I am only going to sign for the minimum 6 month lease and that I will be moving when it comes to a close. I told my brother that I would be happy to find another place with him if that is what he wants but if not, I will find my own place. Now that I think on it I would prefer to be on my own. I guess I'll explore that later on. As it is right now I only live 3 miles away from work but I’m thinking I may look for something just a little bit closer.

 

[GL]

What an awesome weekend! Friday afternoon my old college roommate and best friend came in to town as I had invited him to go see Stone Temple Pilots with me at the AT&T Center here in San Antonio. As soon as he got in we went to dinner at an old haunt from college and began to catch up on friends, family, kids and career. I was surprised at how quickly we just fell back into place considering I had not seen him in close to two years.

Afterwards we made it to the venue and found our seats, which turned out to be pretty good I must say. We loaded up on pricey AT&T concessions Shiner Bock and waited for the show. The opening act was really unimpressive and to be honest I have no earthly idea who they were. Once STP took the stage though? Wow! I was expecting them to start off the show with a rocker but was totally blown away when the opened with “Big Empty.”

They kept the hits running with classics and even threw in a cover of Queen’s “We Will Rock You.” The stage show was pretty impressive with a giant screen behind the band and lots of lights and fog machines. But the best thing about the show was the band itself, they played spot on and sounded as good as they do on their recordings.

Easily the best part of the show for me was when they played “Plush,” their first big hit. It turned into one giant sing along with the band providing the music and Weiland giving us our ques. Damn that was fantastic! All in all that was easily the best rock concert I’ve been to and it was even better then the last time I saw them way back in ‘91. What makes this even more special is that that last time was with my friend when we were in college. We felt like we had come full circle somehow especially since the band has outlived most of their contemporaries.

When the show was over I stopped off and bought my $45 tour t-shirt. I promised myself that if I ever saw them live again I was going to get one since I passed on it the first time. It was close to midnight when we walked out of AT&T and sure enough, we left with a ‘contact buzz’ from all the stuff being smoked around us. A stop for breakfast tacos was in order to quell the munchies.

While we were waiting for STP to take the stage my buddy and I were yakking and we both discovered that we were curious about a café that was featured on Food Network’s “Diners, Drive In’s and Dives.” It was the “Tip Top Café” here in SA and right then and there we decided that we were going there for lunch.

So yesterday my brother, my compadre and I trekked on over to the joint and were immediately faced with a line going along the front of the building. We were undeterred and got in the queue and thankfully we didn’t have to wait too long. We were seated at a booth and let me tell you, the place was packed! It’s a small diner with a maximum occupant load of 100 persons.

We ordered their famous onion rings and their enchiladas as appetizers and chicken fried steaks for lunch. They brought around the enchiladas first, my God! We all stopped for a second and looked at one another and just muttered “Damn.” They were that good. Next came the onion rings, a plate piled high with fried onion ring goodness. I kept saying to the guys “These are the best damned onion rings I’ve ever had in all my life!” Then, the pièce de résistance! Their glorious chicken fried steak which was absolutely huge! They laid the steak on top of a plate with cream gravy and mashed potatoes underneath along with an ice burg lettuce salad.

We ate and we ate good! But it was so much that I could not finish the entire thing. The Tip Top Café has my personal stamp of approval and I will be happy to take anyone there.

We went back to my place and I had a chance to introduce my friend to Daisy (for those who don’t know Daisy is the name I gave with great affection to my Xbox 360) and spoil him with Halo 3. As he is a married man with young children he is afraid to have one in the house for fear the kids might break it. I can understand that. Anyhow, we played for a little while as we waited for his brother. Once he called we took off and met one another at the bowling alley down the road and rolled the rock for a couple of games and several pitchers of Dos Equis.

After a couple of games of sloppy bowling we decided that we were now hungry and ready for supper. We decided to hit “The Flying Saucer” and ordered burgers and then sat around for a couple of hours trying out all the different beers they had available. My personal favorite of the evening was from the Czeck Republic (at least I think it was) called “Pilsner Urquell.” Good stuff and yet another item to earn my personal stamp of approval this weekend.

From there we decided to keep our little three man party rolling in our old school format: cigars and fine beer. We hit the cigar shop nearby and loaded up on $10 cigars, myself I purchased a La Gloria Cubana Corona Gorda and a Partagas Black Piramide. From there we loaded up on sixes of Shiner Bock and Fat Tire Amber Ale and proceeded to my place where we sat out on the porch and had a grand old time. Somewhere after 1 a.m. we called it a night as my old friend still had to hit the road the following morning and his brother had to be up to go to work at 10.

This morning I hugged my best friend from college, he thanked me for a fantastic weekend and made me promise him that I would come up to Fort Worth and visit. I told him I would. Without a doubt this was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a very long time.

 

[GL]

About a month and a half ago I applied for a Quality Control position within my organization. Truth be told I did it on a whim as I really didn’t think I had a chance and when I never heard back I figured I had been passed over. Imagine my surprise when I got back from vacation to get called and asked to take an assessment for that same position.

The assessment was a written test to gauge my knowledge on policy as it applies to our programs. Yesterday at the appointed time I was e-mailed the questionnaire and had an hour to complete it and return it. I did a quick read of it and was worried to find that of the 26 questions asked only 4 applied to my current program. All the other questions in the test were for another program I last worked some 8 years ago. I ended up having to scramble and pull policy from old handbooks and guides. Needless to say I didn’t finish the test. I got half of it done at best and at that point I had resigned myself to the idea that I was not going any further than that.

Imagine my surprise, for a second time this afternoon when they called me back and asked me to interview for the position! I’m guessing the test itself wasn’t so much how much you know but rather if you are able to find answers as they apply to a given situation. Regardless I’m rather happy to have been asked as this would be a promotion with more responsibility and more money. We’ll see how I do on Monday next. Wish me luck!

 

[GL]

“Does it come in black?” Those were the words an impressed Bruce Wayne asked Lucius Fox when he took a spin in The Tumbler. Anyone who’s seen “Batman Begins” would know this for sure. Well today I found myself asking the same thing when I saw these pictures on c|net’s Car Tech blog earlier today:

My little geek heart has been rejoicing and pining for one all day long as it may be the closest I’ll ever get to owning my own Batpod! I think I could mount a 50 caliber machine gun on one fender and a medium range missile launcher on the other.

Needless to say, I want one. And yes, I want it in black.

c|net - Cart Tech / The sporty commuter

 

[GL]

Give me a word
Give me a sign
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find, will I find
Lay me on the ground
Fly me in the sky
Show me where to look
Tell me what will I find, will I find

Oh, heaven let your light shine down

Love is in the water
Love is in the air
Show me where to look
Tell me will love be there, love be there
Teach me how to speak
Teach me how to share
Teach me where to go
Tell me will love be there, love be there

Oh, heaven let your light shine down

I'm going to let it shine
Heaven's little light gonna shine on me
Yea yea heavens little light gonna shine on me
Its gonna shine, shine on me
Its gonna shine, come on in shine

 

[GL]

Some days I'm hopeful and some days... not so much. I think that is why this song still resonates with me after all these years.

 

[GL]

It was the oddest thing when I came into the office this time last week. When I unlocked my office door I couldn’t help but notice the activity in the resident room straight across. The partition curtain had been pulled just a little bit but it was enough to see the old lady in the bed.

Her eyes were closed, her mouth was open and I could tell that her back was arched just a little bit. Or at least it looked that way. She was lying back with the bed set at an incline and she looked as if she were gasping out. Evidently she died like that earlier that morning before the sun came up.

The staff was going in and out of her room and somewhere along the way they had pulled a blanket over her. But despite the cover I could still see the outline of her body in that same ‘startled’ expression.

Eventually her family showed up and there were the expected emotions of grief and sadness. Surprisingly I knew one of the mourners as she is a friend and co-worker who had transferred to our sister agency. It turns out it was her grandmother who had passed away. She had come by my office and we talked for a few minutes. I expressed my condolences and hugged her and told her to give me a call if there was anything I could do to help them out.

As I returned to work from lunch I could see that the cleaning staff was hard at work. They were diligently sweeping and scrubbing the floors, it was almost as if they were trying to wash away any residual 'death' in the room. By the time I stopped for my afternoon break they had finished and closed the door behind them.

Later on that day as I was home making supper my youngest brother called to tell me that he and my sister-in-law are expecting again. They waited until after the first sonogram as they were cautiously optimistic after their miscarriage last year. They’re barely in the first trimester so they have no idea whether it’s a boy or a girl but my intuition tells me it will be a boy.

I’ve been experiencing a number of dreams this past week that have been unsettling but there was one nice dream in which I saw a photograph of my brother and his family and in his arms was a baby wrapped in a blanket. I couldn’t see the baby’s face but I ‘felt’ that it was a boy. I ‘knew’ they were having a girl the first time they called to tell me they were expecting my niece a little over 2 years ago. So I’m curious to see if my intuition will be correct a second time around.

So here I am a week later and I’m still having trouble sleeping no thanks to those odd dreams. Somehow that old lady’s face keeps coming up and for some reason it is affecting me. Its not as if I have not had to deal with death. I’ve been around the block long enough to have seen my share and closed a number of cases because of death. The only thing I can think of is that it’s that lady’s dying gasp that is wearing heavy on my mind. It is an image that I can't seem to shake.

 

[GL]

Romy: Swear to God, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Michele: Do you want to try to have sex sometime just to see if we are?
Romy: What? Yeah, right, Michele. Just the idea of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we're not married by the time we're 30, ask me again.
Michele: Okay.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

 

[GL]

My mother once told me
The thicker your skin
The better off you'll be when this world brings you down
Well it's trying to control me
And leave me without hope
In the past I've been burned
But I've lived and I've learned

Beneath the shelter of the pouring rain
In the absence of this fear and pain
I will finally bid my ball and chain
A fond farewell

On the road that leads me to my place
I will rid my heart of past disgrace
I will finally bid this sluggish pace
A fond farewell

When I heard their reservations
When I read their bitter words
I shined a light upon their wisdom no matter how absurd
And it broke my heard to pieces
And I questioned my own beliefs
My dignity was gone
But it's time to move on

Beneath the shelter of the pouring rain
In the absence of this fear and pain
I will finally bid my ball and chain
A fond farewell

Say goodbye to feeling sorry for myself
To begging others for far too much help
This is my hand, these are the cards that I've been dealt
Only I can make these changes, nobody else
Say goodbye to those sleepless nights
Those corridors with no end in sight
A driven man with these words I write
I'm making peace with my soul tonight

Beneath the shelter of the pouring rain
In the absence of this fear and pain
I will finally bid my ball and chain
A fond farewell

 

[GL]

I think I need a change. Somehow I feel like I’m in a rut and I need to do something. This idea of “doing something” has been on my mind for a couple of months and I am beginning to think a move is in order. And not just to some new address or a new apartment, but a move to another city all together.

First and foremost, I love San Antonio. It isn’t my home town but it may as well be. I’ve been coming in and out of this town since I was a baby. Family vacations were here. I went to college here. And when the opportunity arose that would allow me to come home to S.A. and work, I took it. So I have been living here in San Antonio for at least twenty years. And as much as I love this place, I am curious to see what else is out there and try something new.

Right now Austin and the Dallas / Fort Worth area seem to be the most interesting to me. I have some family and friends in Austin and the city itself is pretty vibrant and exciting. I know I have a couple of good friends in DFW as a result of this message board but equally important is that my best friend lives in Fort Worth. Nothing would make me happier than bowling with him on a league night again. The funny thing is that he has said the same when he came to visit earlier this summer.

I have been looking at job listings with my employer and at any given time there are open positions for my current job in Austin and the Dallas / Fort Worth area. I believe that I could transfer over without too much trouble. All I would have to do is submit an application and I suspect I would be accepted. But I had made a promise to myself that I would not do any more lateral transfers unless the agency mandated it. I think I’m good at what I do but I know I don’t want to do case work for the rest of my career. I guess what I am saying is that I will not apply for something unless it’s a step up, a promotion.

Well, if anything it is something to think on.

 

[GL]

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cause I'm not there
And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow
Again and again I've taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun.

When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there was just no way of knowing
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun.

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding
I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun.

 

[GL]

Sometimes I truly wish I were a Vulcan. If I were I would have the conditioning and training necessary to suppress my emotions. This would also mean I would have the ability to tell anyone who has an axe to grind with me what Spock once said, “…you should learn to govern your emotions. They will be your undoing.”

It is certainly more tactful then what I feel right now which is ripping someone’s head off and using it for a kickball.

Eh. Don’t mind me. Today was just another glorious example of what a thankless job I have.

 

[GL]

My new favorite program:





I am such a nerd. And for what its worth, Sheldon (the one wearing the Superman t-shirt) is terribly cute!

 

[GL]

I was thinking of today's election...



Don't wanna wait 'til tomorrow
Why put it off another day?
One by one, little problems
Build up, and stand in our way. Oh

One step ahead, one step behind it
Now ya gotta run to get even
Make future plans I'll dream about yesterday, hey!
Come on turn, turn this thing around

(Right now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything

Miss a beat, you lose a rhythm
An nothin' falls into place. No!
Only missed by a fraction
Slipped a little off your pace. Oh!

The more things you get, the more you want
Just trade in one for another
Workin' so hard to make it easy
Whoa, got to turn. Come on, turn this thing around

(Right now) Hey, it's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) catch that magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything

Said a lie to me
Right now
What are ya waitin' for? Oh! Yeah!
Right now

(Right now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) Catch that magic moment
And do it right, right now (Right now)
Oh, right now!

It's what's happening
Right here and now
Right now, it's right now
Oh!
Tell me, what are ya waitin' for?
Turn this thing around

 

[GL]

Regarding Proposition 8:

"The road to freedom is a difficult, hard road. It always makes for temporary setbacks."

-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Keep the faith.

D.

 

[GL]

Only you can touch me with your dark eyes
with a look that burns like fire through the lonely night.
Sometimes I run, but I can never hide
from the pieces of my heart that fall like rain from the sky.

When you hear the thunder,
when you hear the sound of a mountain crashing down,
it's just my heart in pieces.
When I feel the hunger,
when I'm reaching out with a hundred thousand hands,
it's my heart in pieces.

No one cuts through my soul like you can.
I'm naked to the bone beside your empty hand.
I see your face and I remember.
I'm a prisoner of your fate,
I'm a loser in the race.

When you hear the thunder,
when you hear the sounds of a mountain crashing down,
it's just my heart in pieces.
When I feel the hunger,
when I'm reaching out with a hundred thousand hands,
it's my heart in pieces.

I walk the fine line
between fire and the ice.
The memory lives on.
There's always something to remind me.
Every teardrop falling
when your voice keeps calling.

When you hear the thunder,
when you hear the sounds of a mountain crashing down,
it's just my heart in pieces.
When I feel the hunger,
when I'm reaching out with a hundred thousand hands,
it's my heart in pieces.

Heart In Pieces / Chicago

 

[GL]

So there was this cute guy at bowling who I’ve had my eye on for a bit. Cute face, chubby like myself. I asked him out and he declined. “You’re not my type, sorry.” he tells me.

“But, you’re chubby.” I say.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

I think I am at that point now where I hate gay men. I don’t understand them, I can’t figure them out and I am completely and totally disheartened and I wish I could just switch my ‘gay’ off.

On the "good news" front, Manu Ginobili has begun five on five scrimmages! I'm hoping in a few more weeks he'll come off the injured list and play some ball! Lord knows my Spurs have been struggling since the season opened.