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Going for older guys.

P

pigeondetective

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I don't know if this is a problem or not, but i'm only really attracted to guys over 30, i'm 20 and this makes it a 10 year gap. I've tried going for guys more my age, but it just doesn't feel right, and the worst thing is, if i go out to a gay bar/club and see an older guy i think is fit, i don't do anything about it 'cos i'm too hung up on what my friends might say.

Anyone else have this problem?Oh and no this doesn't belong in the older guys section.
 
Many young guys are attracted to older guys. I'm sure there are all kinds of psychological theories as to why this happens.

Some would suggest you are looking for a father figure. Some would say you're attracted to their potential stability, such as having a career and a home or because they should be more mature emotionally. Of course age doesn't necessarily bring maturity or stability.

While I understand the peer pressure you're feeling, in the end it isn't your friends who you're going to spend your life with or who are going to meet your deepest emotional and sexual needs.

Anyone who enters into a relationship with someone outside the norm (an older person, a person from a different race or culture, etc.) needs to have the emotional maturity and sense of self-worth, not to care what others think.

You should follow your head and heart when deciding whom to love, and if your friends don't approve, tell them to go fuck themselves.
 
I'm 10 years older than my partner, we've been together 9 years, I don't see what the problem is however I do remember feeling a little self concious about it at first.
To be attracted to a partner is more important than age is in my book.
Don't sweat it, just go for the one you are attracted to and play safe.
 
Think of it this way. You are going home with an older hunk and your judgmental friends are going home alone. Who is the winner here?
 
HaX0788 said:
I'm 48 years younger than my boyfriend of 6 months. It's working out perfectly fine. In fact, I feel like I can tell him everything and he can tell me everything. If you are self-conscious about how people think you are, I'd say stop. I really don't give two shits because I only have one real friend here and he's into older guys too.
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ur 19 and ur bf is 67?

dude.
 
as long as your happy, who cares what your friends think
 
My bf and I have a 16 years difference and things could not be going better. Age is a state of mind and has nothing to do with a relationship or love.
 
I'm 41 and my partner of 6 years is about to turn 28. We have lots in common and just a handful of major differences to balance them out. He never worried about his friends, he was actually excited to introduce me to them all. Made me feel pretty good that he wanted to show ME off.
 
It's not a problem at all. You go with who you're attracted to, not with whom others expect you to be attracted to.
 
pigeondetective, I have found that a lot of things are easier with an older/younger relationship but some things are harder. Look at the age difference as a way to explore and have fun. The important thing is to make sure you keep communications open
 
Your real problem might be your dependency on other people's opinion.

You want to look into this with the greatest possible care. People invariably tend to create pressure around themselves by incessantly attempting to 'direct other people's lives'. Volumes and volumes have been written on the subject.

'Telling other people what to do and how to live their lives; what's wrong and and what's not, etc.,' is an activity that involves little or no personal responsibility and hardly any liability. So, most people simply see no reason to resist the temptation. And they don't.

I have always followed the rule that 'Poor is the man, whose pleasures depend on the permission of the others'. And this has served me very well over many years now.

SC
 
The only one who should have any interest in the kind of guys you like is you.
 
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