Going on a date with a girl soon...But Im gay

[Ambrocious]

For the first time that I can ever remember, a girl has showed interest in me and asked me to go see a movie together and that she wants to come over to my house and see my computer. Now I made sure to inform her that I was indeed gay (maybe she thinks I'm using that as some weird way of getting her?) but she didn't seem to even be bothered by this news.

In no way am I attracted to her (minus her mind and heart, she's a good person in general) and I'm a tad bit scared that she will try and make a move on me when I really don't want that from her. How would you go about this? Would you even allow this to transpire? I'm doing this to be a FRIEND only being since she is a pretty neat person but I got the feeling she wants more than that and I'm sort of worried.

Has anyone else been in this spot before? What would you do? What DID you do?


Now if only I could get some hot guys asking me out....

 

[pai mei]

i cant say that i've been in that position before.

a date with a gf can be fun, AS LONG as u want it to be only that, fun. *if* she makes a move, u need to stop her and let her know that you are indeed gay, and not interested in her in *that* way.

it isn't rejection, and if she is understanding of gay people then she'll realize that. if she thinks she can simply make u want her because of how fabulous she is, then she isn't a very good person is she, and personally, i'd be insulted if a girl thought that she could simply make me straight.

or at least, i would be if she continued to think that way even after i set her "straight." (pardon the pun lol)

 

[Beezer]

From what you said, Ambrocious, I think she just wants a guy bud to do stuff with. Don't read too much into it. But, if she puts a move on you, don't pursue it. Run. Not in your best interests.

 

[Telstra]

Be her friend. If you would like to have fun with her go for it.
But make clear you are into men.

 

[Just_Believe18]

That sounds nice of her. Why refuse such kindness for companionship? You already told her you're gay. You should be fine. Go have fun and enjoy yourself.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Ambrocious,

You told us 'she is a pretty neat person' and you told her that you are gay (so not into girls for anything beyond just a normal friendship).

I tend to give you the same advise as others. Don't worry about this 'date'.

Quite often, girls / females like to undertake items like 'going to the movie' together with another person (or having dinner together, drinking coffee, go for shopping, visit a museum, it can be anything). Often girls tend to do this kind of things together with another female friends. Doing this together with a straight friend can be complicated, as not all straight guys can cope with a situation that a girl just want to do things together with him because she just likes him as a friend.

Maybe she had already an idea that you are a gay (you told her, but maybe she already knew from other sources that you are gay, maybe she has a good gayradar that already had indicated u r gay).

Besides that, what do you consider as a 'date'? I tend to think you should only use the phrase 'date' when you do this kind of things (going to the movie, have an appointment to drink coffee together, etc) with a gay guy?

I mean, you can also go to the movie with a straight friend, and a straight friend can also visit you at home to see your computer, or play computergames with you, or what ever guys can do together as normal guyfriends etc. I tend to think you also don't call this 'dating' a guy.

So no big deal for me. I hope you will have a nice time with her. Who knows, maybe she has a brother who is gay, or an aquaintance who is gay. Can be a nice opportunity to get in contact with other gay guys?

Good luck.

 

[KaraBulut]

What would you do? What DID you do?

Putting the brakes on a straight woman is no different from putting the brakes on a gay guy. You go into the situation with the belief that you're just friends. It they try to take it to another level, you stop it and make it clear that you think of them as a friend and it's not going to happen.

And if you're not comfortable with this girl then don't refer to the movie as a "date" and make it clear up front that you're hanging out as friends. Just say something like, "Wow, it's great to be going to a movie with a friend instead of a date- I can just relax and enjoy the movie".

Now if only I could get some hot guys asking me out....

Perhaps you should be asking them out?