Going To A Gay Club or Bar By Yourself

[misterblueeyes]

I don't know if this topic has been discussed before, so here it goes.

I just moved to the Austin area about a month ago and would really like to make some gay friends in the area. I don't know Austin that well but I do know Rain on 4th and Congress is one of the most popular gay clubs, and I was thinking of actually going there by myself one of these days just to meet people and make friends. (I know that there are some other ways, but I really don't know how. I'm not going to school here, just working.)

I have done some research on it and some say it's a good idea because if you go with a group of friends, you seem like you're a lot harder to approach. I think that it is a little true because most of the times if I go with my friends, I don't get approached. Where as some say it's not a good idea because it may be a little dangerous (ie. kidnapping, rape, etc.). I know if I were to go by myself I would definitely let my friends know where I'm going so they know that I'm okay.

What are everyone's opinions on it? Has anyone done it before?

 

[RationalLunacy]

Unless you're drop-dead gorgeous, you won't meet anyone. Unless they're drunk.

I know.

 

[SonOfSlobone]

Wow, are rapes and kidnappings really popular in gay bars now? I haven't been to one in a while, but the biggest hazard used to be rudeness and rejection. A rape might have livened things up a little...

You need to have a thick skin to put up with all the guys with attitude there. If you really want to make friends, try talking to some of the not-quite-as-hot guys. Otherwise you could end up just standing around a lot.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Unless you're drop-dead gorgeous, you won't meet anyone. Unless they're drunk.

I know.

I thought you were "the fat guy with the great sense of humor"?

 

[Treborf]

I made a thread a lot like this a few weeks back. And Im in Austin too. Weird. Anyway, I ended up going alone, and it worked out pretty well. Besides the very first time, I've met someone new and been hit on every time Ive gone out by myself.

I think the best bit of advice I got was to 1)not stay in the same spot all night and 2)don't be afraid to introduce yourself to a stranger.

 

[BearMagus]

You can go to a bar and do fine. If you like to dance, go to a dance club and hit the floor and have fun. You will meet people that way. Neighborhood type bars are a good way to meet people also especially at happy hour. Most guys are not cruising at that time so I think your chance of being kidnapped and raped and pretty slim. You can make it a habit to hit your local watering hole the same time and get to know the regulars. Then when you have a few friends you can stop going as much.

 

[nice1234]

I dont i would have the guts to go by myself.

 

[LoveIsNow]

I don't think people usually get raped or kidnapped in those places unless they ask politely. You'll be fine I'm sure. You don't have to leave with someone unless you want to.

 

[swerve]

DEFINITELY GO DUDE!!!

You'll have a BLAST!!!

Oh -- and Don't WAIT to be "hit on" -- like treborf said -- make the initiative to meet OTHERS!!!

I'm sure that you'll have a GREAT time!!!

 

[RationalLunacy]

You're mistaken. That's me. RL is the clown who weeps inside.

No, that would be [removed by someone who thinks he's a moderator].

I'm the angry asshat who thinks he's Dr. Smith.

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

When I go out to a club with friends and we all hang together I don't meet many people.
If we do our own thing and don't hang out all the time seems best for meeting people as well as you don't feel alone.
But often, like tonight I go out by myself just to get out of the house for a while. I really don't intend or think I will meet anyone, nor am I trying but I'm open to it.
Its a little uncomfortable at first but once you get familiar with a club and the staff you feel more stable and confident.
A couple weeks ago late I was unplugging a big fan at the poolside bar of the club I go to. The cherry blew off my smoke and went into my hair and a little torch up occurred in my hair for a second, its not rare over the years for this to happen because my hair is long and I'm not very careful after a few dozen drinks. In the dark I noticed a guy laughing and talking to his buddy so I said something to them. Quickly it became apparent that these 2 real young guys were Aryan not skin heads but 100% Nazi red necks.
I talked to them for a while and they opened up because I could talk about music they liked and as I'm in a band fit a style or look they could relate to.
However red flags went up because it was late and single guys looking for a hook up, mostly older single guys at the bar could quickly maybe end up knocked and bashed by a couple like these two, maybe worse. I do not know for sure but I got the vibe they were looking the situation over, they weren't gay. But that means nothing you don't have to be gay to hang out.
As they left they said see you later Brother, as if I agreed with them and was a Brother to the beliefs we had talked about.
I reported them to security which was aware they were there and watching them. They would watch me too more than the average Lady Ga-GA crowd but they know me.
You have to watch yourself bad shit happens quickly.

 

[bronzeganymede]

i started goin to gay bars alone right after i came out a few years ago. i actually made a lot of friends and "friends" that way. i still like to go out by myself cuz i hate waiting for my friends to get ready. while its fun being out with a bunch of friends, its easier fo meet folks by yourself. just be careful, know your surroundings, try to stay in one spot, watch out for the guys you talk and flirt with especially if they buy you a cocktail and never leave your drink out in the open and be tough skinned to the attitude you may encounter. if you encounter snotty bitter queens with attitude or dont meet anyone, dont let that detour from having a good time or goin out again. with that said, have fun! go get em tiger.

 

[davy]

Kidnap? Rape?

Are you ten years old?

Are you or are you not a grown man?

Did your parents gives you a safe word too?

Go out and get yourself some fun!