Golden Shower

[marvtha]

i'm marvtha


marvtha got a call last night..you'll never guess who?!
i'm a bit shocked but also excited!

marvtha was on her second box of wine when the phone rang....it was junior sr.!!!! YES junior's jr. daddy!

the poor man has been lonely since he lost his wife in that terrible tragedy at this summer's fair!
his wife (tiny) looked like a shoe in for her 10th consecutive win in the pie eating contest.
she was face deep into her 13th blueberry pie when her massive body violently shook!
tiny was large woman......400+ pounds and they say when she shook the tremor was felt the next county over!
after the crane dropped her body off at dr. welby's the autopsy came back revealing that the pressure from all the fat around her heart caused it to explode!

remind marvtha of when that fat girl turned blue and exploded, then those little "poop a loopas" sang that scarey song!
freaky orange men like they just rolled in cheetos!

anyhoo junior sr. apologized for his son's rude treatment of marvtha. he said he truly knows how to treat a lady and is coming over this evening to give marvtha a golden shower!
now marvtha's heard of bridal shower and even went to a baby shower...ONCE...and that was enough.

the shower was for my cousin april mae joon...not the brightest bulb...well right after we ate cake..... april mae locked herself in bathroom and aborted the baby. it became less of a celebration and more of a somber affair when april mae walked out of the commode carrying the badly misshapen fetus and proceeded to try and dress the thing in a little spongebob outfit!!! marvtha spewed her cake in bassinet
marvtha hear baby shower even mentioned and say...no way jose!

anyway marvtha not sure what golden shower is? marvtha not yet 50 years of age so that not it?
maybe the color theme is in gold?
marvtha favorite color yellow cause it's bright and cheery like marvtha when on her meds.
yellow close to gold but junior sr. not know my favorite color?
oh well it'll be all the more of a surprise! marvtha have to go shopping for dress with friend blair. she has been to a lot of cotillions so she'll be big help!!
marvtha so happy!

i'm marvtha

 

[Jadin32]

Not again Marvtha!


RUN!!!

 

[marvtha]

Marvtha,

I'm happy for you too. I can tell you've almost wet yourself in excitement.

Please ignore all the negative nellies who'll be along shortly to take the piss out of you in your moment of joy.

A word of encouragement. A golden shower is better when experienced under the golden arches.

a4b

ooh....so you're saying the shower might be held at mcdonalds?!
marvtha's kitten is twitchin big time now...i might have to put it on a leash! ha ha

maybe marvtha will get a happy meal? and then junior sr. can feed me my fries all romantics like!
okay blair and me are going shopping for that party dress now i'll let ya all know how tonight went!

i'm so excited and i just can't hide it marvtha

 

[agj25us]

MARVTHA!!
I have missed seeing your Posts you wonderful person YOU!!!!
Why don't we dunk the Queen in the Golden Shower and leave her there - and then I will take you on my white Stallion and we will ride off into the sunset together to my Castle.

 

[marvtha]

MARVTHA!!
I have missed seeing your Posts you wonderful person YOU!!!!
Why don't we dunk the Queen in the Golden Shower and leave her there - and then I will take you on my white Stallion and we will ride off into the sunset together to my Castle.

agj...whatever the hell your name is? you are sweeter than banana twins...and they're pretty fuckin' sweet ....wow

if junior sr. wasn't throwing me a "to do" this evening i'd be tempted to take that ride.
a horse or two has been in marvtha before...er i mean... marvtha has been on a horse or two in my day!

well i got my dress. wal-mart had some very pretty ones but i was rushed for time so just grabbed one.
blair was in hurry because tootie was going to see master p.u. so she had to pick out her dress too!

anyway gjs...whatever...your cute but...maybe need haircut? marvtha thought you were girl at first and marvtha not a scissor sister!!!!
well except one time
oh marvtha will tell about that later

gotta go marvtha

 

[Pegasus69]

Marvtha, I think that you are in for a BIG surprise! I hope that all goes well and the wee hours don't wear on you. You must show us a picture of the dress that you got. We are dying to see you all made up and ready to go......

 

[marvtha]

let's just say things didn't go well!
marvtha is very drunk and headed to cheers.
or i may try to hunt down queenie?
night still young.
should i change out of wet party dress first?

fuck it....maybe i'll add some cum to the piss and blood and make it a grand ol' fuckin' party!!!!

i'm marvtha

 

[marvtha]

well like father,like son or vice versa.
pegasus it no matter what marvtha's party dress look like....because in the end it was just ALL WET!!!......OH and....bloody!
junior sr. came over last night around 8 p.m. with a box of wine and a rascally grin on his mug and exclaimed "put on some party music girl."

marvtha was going through my cd's trying to pick the perfect slayer selection when all of a sudden i felt something wet on the back of my neck??
i whipped around and junior sr. had his nasty pickle out pissing all over poor marvtha.

oh i yelled and tried to dodge the yellow stream but junior sr. had me in his site. he must have drank a lot of beer because marvtha was drenched. piss was flyin everywhere!

he at hospital now possibly getting his dick sewn back on!
marvtha ripped it right off his region and kicked it under the couch!
the paramedics found it under a big ol' dust bunny! well not too big...junior sr. should've been called "tiny" and not his fat ass wife.
sorry lord for disrespecting the dead but the bitch had one too many banana twins!
anyhoo i tried pulling his pecker off with my hands but couldn't get a grip...too small. so after he had done passed out from the pain ol' marvtha got a pair of needle nose pliers and ...off it came!

the paramedics didn't contact sheriff taylor because at one time or another junior sr. had been fishin' in their wives ponds...if ya catch the drift!?
so maybe junior sr's pickle never made it to hospital?? the paramedics might have thrown it out the window off I 13.
it's probably laying off the side of the highway with bugs a crawlin' all over it!? junior sr. probably used to having little critters crawling around his 'nethers anyway?!?
ha junior sr. might be junior miss and that gives marvtha some small comfort!!

marvtha DONE with mens and their nasty noodles! i may go the other way like you all queers...maybe?!?

i'm marvtha

 

[marvtha]

Marvtha, you are utterly mad... but I like it!

salute general!
my dear granpappy did some time in the trenches too.
poor man lost his leg and turned to whiskey for his troubles.

grannie got tired of him always getting drunk and falling over so she just mostly left him laying on the floor.
oh he didn't mind much as long as he had his bottle down there with him and a plate of goulash once in a spell!
marvtha have many fond memories of stepping over granpappy to help grannie in the kitchen...sigh
he liked marvtha stepping over him especially when marvtha wore her little gingham dresses. i'd have one leg over him and he'd say "now freeze"

cops and robbers i guess???

it was good times!

 

[marvtha]

Marvtha,

you forgot the safe word didn't you?

All you had to say was "Poppycock" and the stream would have been instantly dry.

Instead what popped into your head was "Bobbit-cock" and so ....

sigh, when will you learn girl.

pull your pants up! good grief marvtha is innocent babe in woods and shouldn't have to be exposed to such nasty going ons!
seriously.....expose yourself!
what's under that piece of fabric?

 

[RationalLunacy]

Just remember that it is better to be pissed on than pissed off.

 

[marvtha]

Just remember that it is better to be pissed on than pissed off.

did your new party dress get runied looney man?
no..i didn't think so

oh i got pissed on.... then....pissed off!
i'm still picking skin from junior sr's dick out from under my nails!

hey marvtha know you..."danger will robinson!

p.s. what kinds meds you on looney tunes?

 

[marvtha]

Ohhhhhhhh, Marvtha... urine for a good time tonight! You will undoubtedly have lots of warm memories from your wee adventure. By the way, drink lots of liquids... bladder safe than sorry when it comes to being prepared!

oh you're very funny boy!

marvtha not know what you gays are into but being soaked to the skin by someone's piss is not idea of grand ol'
time!
p.s. marvtha ALWAYS ful of some liquid or another! sssshhhhhh

 

[marvtha]

since no one is talking to marvtha i just have to amuse myself. oh not that way dirty birdies!

i found these smilies on here.

scared the shit outta poor ol' marvtha at first...i saw shit dancing around and thought i was having some flashback
oh marvtha liked the trippin' back in the day. windowpane was my friend if ya catch my drift!

anyhoo...i haven't had so much fun since they first opened the super wal-mart.
marvtha was all....damn girl....i can get a pork roast and some new bedsheets in the same building!
you like that one? That's called "you go girl!"

NASTY! a yellow moon pulling on his pickle

marvtha used to do this but now just beat myself in head with fist. now you hush HA marvtha found one for that!

oooh that little lime green one's gonna be shittin funny come tomorrow!

ol' marvtha like this one!

HELLO......marvtha been in that situation before....lots a cuts & bruises and sore hoo ha

this one scare marvtha! remind me of 6th birthday party.
mama had pedo philo the clown. marvtha was scrubbing greasepaint off her skin for days!

marvtha going to get a box of wine then come back and play with little peoples!

 

[marvtha]

where's all my boys at?????

no one talks to marvtha anymore!!

jakie you still sick??

it's friday and marvtha already has a buzz on!

 

[Nonimus]

You any relation to Gollum? Per-chance?

 

[donnykabob]

Hey Marvtha,

Spank your inner moppet.


What do you have to say to that?

 

[Nonimus]

I wish the ring had never come to me.....heeheee.......

Now don't say that my 'precious'!

 

[marvtha]

Hey Marvtha,

Spank your inner moppet.


What do you have to say to that?

donny...marvtha have no idea what you are talking about????

you one of the kids that wear funny shoes?

 

[Nonimus]

donny...marvtha have no idea what you are talking about????

you one of the kids that wear funny shoes?

You have no idea how much i want to beat you right now....