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    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Got a twist for you!

Stop the passive-aggressive games (unless you're hoping it'll help pass the time until the two months). Be straight up with him.

"Look, don't give me this 'when I'm drunk, don't take advantage of me' bullshit. The question isn't what I should or shouldn't do when you come onto me when you're drunk. It's why the fuck you're coming on to me, drunk or sober, when you don't want anything to happen. If you don't want anything to happen, that's fine. But stop getting drunk and pushing me in that direction. And if you DO want something to happen, be a fucking man and SAY so. Don't go hiding behind a bottle and hinting at it."

Lex
 
volcom1206 said:
^
: Is he a good enough friend to want to keep around?
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That's what I'm going to figure out this weekend. Is he worth it.


Hey Lex. Thanks for the advice. I was actually talking to him just a few mins ago before I get ready for work and he brought something else up about that weekend. I can't remember it right now but I just said to him "look, are you looking for something from me? Seriously what do you want from me?" His reply was "I want nothing" I said good...look I gotta go and report to work. I see you later tonight for the tournament and goodbye. I mean I don't know how else I can drill this into his head that I don't want to play mind games. I guess I go with drawing pictures next or something. I don't want to turn my back on him cause he has so far been a better friend then my actually friends. But it may just come to that.

Anyways guys keep giving me advice! I need it! ..| Thanks to all that have posted so far...I appreciate it!
 
He has internalized homophobia that he doesn't have the motivation to break out of.
 
quick update. He was at the tournament. Didn't say much to me until near the end when we talked outside in private. One of his ex's was asking him to come over to her house and hang cause she was bored. He asked me what he should do? I said "I'm not getting involved in this. You do what you want."

He went to the girls house and I said enjoy the sex. He said he wasn't going to have sex with her and he said that if he did...he owed me supper. I just laugh yeah okay! Bye. He goes "what, think I lie to you?" I said "I don't really care, not my life and not my decision. Your riding solo on this one partner!" and I went into the store leaving him outside. It was hard but one small step to prove to him that I'm not playing games anymore and I'm not going to give him the attention he craves.

anyways goodnight guys and he's off this weekend. I let you know if anything comes up. For now, have fun and for my american friends, enjoy the long weekend!
 
(*8*) Aww screwnutty! You're handling this very maturely. I would offer advice but at this point it seems you're doing brilliantly so I'll just keep to myself! Keep us updated on your story though!
 
Providence said:
(*8*) Aww screwnutty! You're handling this very maturely. I would offer advice but at this point it seems you're doing brilliantly so I'll just keep to myself! Keep us updated on your story though!
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(*8*) Thanks Providence! I'm glad you think so...cause I'm going crazy! Walking out on him was really, really, really hard to do. I didn't even say goodbye to him tonight.

But I did it! :)

Anyways please give me advice! That's what makes jub so great. You guys can sometime see things I can't. So fire away!

Hey providence. Nice to see a local boy on here for once. I thought it was just me and Effortless pro. I live about an hour from you so if you ever need to talk just private message me and we chat in MSN or if you have a 360, over xboxlive!

anyways guys....signing off for the night. Wishing you all a good nights sleep!
 
here is my advice. it may sound harsh but anyways my friends appreciate me for laying the things straight out.


What I see here is a classic gay drama involving, and, sir, you are the one provoking it ... seriously.

A Lotta straight guys, when they are drunk drop their homophobic masks and limits set out by the society. Girls kiss each other and stuff without having any sexual feelings. Guys can do the same. It's just the set of social rules that usually keeps them back from doing it. Now when they are drunk, they will forget that rules.
So take it easy.


Well FYI I was born in Armenia and lived there for for more than two decades:)so yea, there best guy friends when they great each other they also kiss each other. and I assure you there are no sexual feelings involved.

So get over... he ain't gay... he just loves you as a friend...

If you think he is gay than just grab him and fuck him.. he won't mind... but you will know better:) :p:sex:
 
Aha! So he is the Walmart guy. I was wondering if he was the same guy or not. Is he still with that girl that lives here in London? Maybe I'll get some dirt on him for you!;)

My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing. Keep being very nonchalant to whatever he says whether if it's plans he has to cancel or tells you he's going over a girl's. It seems pretty obvious he thinks you have feelings for him (which you possibly still do) so you need to keep doing what you're doing to show him that you're over him.

At times, he doesn't seem like all the trouble at all but at other time he seems really sincere about wanting to stay friends with you but it's what he says sometimes that can be a real turn off. He just seems a little immature. Just keep pretending that whatever he does doesn't really affect you and hopefully eventually it won't.

Enjoy the extra popcorn tomorrow night ;)
Kal
 
Providence said:
Aha! So he is the Walmart guy. I was wondering if he was the same guy or not. Is he still with that girl that lives here in London? Maybe I'll get some dirt on him for you!;)

My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing. Keep being very nonchalant to whatever he says whether if it's plans he has to cancel or tells you he's going over a girl's. It seems pretty obvious he thinks you have feelings for him (which you possibly still do) so you need to keep doing what you're doing to show him that you're over him.

At times, he doesn't seem like all the trouble at all but at other time he seems really sincere about wanting to stay friends with you but it's what he says sometimes that can be a real turn off. He just seems a little immature. Just keep pretending that whatever he does doesn't really affect you and hopefully eventually it won't.

Enjoy the extra popcorn tomorrow night ;)
Kal
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Hey Providence

Yup it's the same guy. As for his girlfriend that he was going to London to see. Turns out that weekend trip was the weekend in which she dumped him for one of his best friends. I got to hear the whole story the one night. He did date another girl (she asked him out) about a month after the breakup but it only lasted 3 weeks and they both hate each other now.

Guess a minor update here: I've been on MSN since 1:00pm (it's now 3:26pm) and he's online too. I haven't paged him and he hasn't paged me. As for him hanging out with me tonight. He send my cellphone a txt message saying that he can't hang out today (Saturday) as something has come up. I think after our arguement and little talk outside of the store last night....I think he's getting the hint that the game show is over. *fingers crossed*
 
It takes two to play games

Seems to me there are two very willing players here

It really sounds like both of you are getting off on this drama
 
Thanks guys for all your input. I bought a Wii today and had some friends over to celebrate a friend's new job. Anyways Wal-mart guy stayed his distance from me, didn't interact with me or say much to me. Yes I invited him over just so that I see if he came and maybe we could be friends.

So it was smooth. No games...nothing. We did chit chat here and there but the feelings I had for him are gone and I think he has gotten the message.

Phew.....now I just wait for the next disaster in my life to happen! :D LOL
 
Hey Greg (hugs).

I read the entire thread. I didn't even know you had a thread until Matt told me LOL I don't get on JUB much anymore. But anyways I think you are handling this thing with Mat very good. I kinda had a feeling since the beginning that no relationship or anything would come from this. But you got yourself a new friend and that's just great!.

I am going to get going. I hope to catcha on MSN soon got some shit to tell ya LOL. I'll ttyl you take care.
 
I'll agree with RareBoy and say he's definitely gay.

He's definitely crushing on you. It's so obvious. (And it's obvious you're crushing on him, too :-) ).

And being honest and upfront with him might work, but it might just as easily scare him away. Because he is scared. Him telling his mom and friends that he kissed a gay guy is his way of testing the waters.

IMHO, he will be much more likely to do gay things with you (i.e., sex) if you don't actually use the gay word. Let him enjoy being with a man, without having to use any English language.

I think you ought to have him over, and get physical with him--in a kind, loving, gentle way (if that's the way you think about him). Just quietly and slowly keep pushing his boundaries (without talking explicitly about what you're doing).

Sit on the couch with him and talk to him. Then put your hand on his shoulder. Then rub his shoulder a little bit. If he likes it, keep doing it--slowly and progressively. Then tell him you want to give him a back rub--don't say anything sexual. Let him enjoy a man's touch--I think that's what he's craving (your touch, specifically!). Rub his back, rub his lats, rub the top of his butt cheeks.

Depending on how things go, you can either tell him to take his shirt off so you can give a deeper rub; or you can turn him around and start--gently and lovingly--rubbing his chest and stomach.

I had a long message very similar to this a few months ago; I should dig it up, rather than retyping all this. :-)

Basically, don't try to fuck him the first night or anything. Just go smoothly and gently, getting more and more man-to-man touch with the guy. He'll eat it up!

And whatever you do, don't say the gay word!
 
Ah, found it. It came from this thread (check out entries #71 & 73, specifically)

Or just look at my last 2 blog entries (the latest one is shown at left)
 
my point of view on this is well...great that you stopped liking him, when one person doesnt want to have a relationship it sucks when the other person wants it... when you realize he doesnt want anything it can hurt but u have handled it really well but in my opinion you shouldnt shut him out completely cause from what i read he does mean something to you as a friend... someone who u havent known for so long you have a nice friendship and would suck to lose it
 
He's straight. He's made that quiet clear at least 15 times to me and my friends. He's annoyed at my friends because they don't believe him and he's seriously thinking about not coming over if my friends are here.
 
I agree with everyone who thinks he's gay/bi/curious.

When people are drunk, the truth comes out. I don't buy this as just him having a sense of humor or joking.
 
He's straight. He's made that quiet clear at least 15 times to me and my friends.
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Well. that's too bad.

I guess you can move on now. He's just not that interesting to invest anymore effort, except on the most casual level.

At worst, he's one of those straight guys who loves having a gay guy friend as a pet.
 
screwnutty said:
He's straight. He's made that quiet clear at least 15 times to me and my friends. He's annoyed at my friends because they don't believe him and he's seriously thinking about not coming over if my friends are here.
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Yeah, Larry Craig's straight, too. :lol:

He probably doesn't want to come over when your friends are there because he's only interested in you.

As rareboy says, I suppose you could be his token gay pet.

But I really think you ought to have him over alone, and try the body/back rub thing I suggested. It will soon become very obvious whether he likes it or not. If he's like, "WTF are you doing?!" then I'll believe he's straight. If he says nothing, or actively enjoys it, he's gay. It's not a whole lot of risk to find out what's going on.
 
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