Gotta get this off my chest.

[xboxfan34]

This is a rather long post, just warning you now.

I don't even know where to begin, Okay. I am 18 years old and for the past year I've really been coming to terms about my sexual preference of men. I've known I'm gay basically since I hit puberty. I remember when it first hit me that I wasn't straight was when I was 12years old when I learned what "speedos" were. And also I didn't feel that special magnitism with me and girls, but I felt it with guys.
Freshmen year of high school was when all the confusion set in. I will admit that there were some girls I thought were really pretty. Beautiful actually, but I just wansn't attracted to them. And I admit that I had a little bit of a crush on my global history teacher. He was kind of a medium-sized fellow about 5'8. And I felt that he unitentionally made himself EXTREMLEY homoerotic. He always wore a long sleeved shirt and tie, but he also would wear extremley tight khaki pants. And let me tell you something, he had an amazing ass! It was just so round and muscular! And there are times where I would just stare at his ass and try if I can see his underwear line That teacher also coached baseball and there was one time I remember where I could swear that I saw the unmistakeable outline of a jockstrap Whether he actually wore one or if it was a product of my imagination/wishful thinking I don't know. Sadly though, the man was as straight as a goddamn pin . He was happily married to a woman and halfway through the year, he celebrated the birth of his first child. Also, his political views were pretty Republican so I don't think he was that fond of gays.

And the fact that he was probably 30-40 years old and I was a horny 15 year old boy, not a chance in the frikkin' universe.

Now back to who I am. I am also probably the straightest gay person I have ever met (if that makes any sense). I never wanted to wear pink, or dress like a girl, I LOVE classic rock music, I wear clothes that look "manly", but if you look at the content I fap to, there's no mistaking that I'm gay. I've found myself pretty intriuged with the "bear" subculture of LGBT culture. Usually a picture of a muscular daddy in a speedo is enough to give me a stiff proposition. But you know it really sucks? The fact that I'm 18 (I am NO Twink, whatsoever.). I'm also a virgin, all of the gay bear bars on Long Island, NY are 21+, I'm still in the closet and live with my parents so I can't bang bears without them eventually finding out, and the worst part is, I don't think anyone can teach me how to "be gay". (I look at all of the LGBT youth that would give anything to be straight and I want to learn how to embrace who I am, talk about ironic.)

Also, I'm still closeted. I just don't feel like now is the time to reveal who I am. My parents even though they taught me about God and Jesus are actually rather irreligious even though they believe in God. So they probably wouldn't give a soaring rats ass in space if I was gay. Also I would probably find myself in the Spiritual But Not Religious category. I believe in a higher power, I believe in an afterlife, but after how mainstream religion has treated us gays. I don't want to follow it anymore.

So this rant was about 4 years in the making. I joined JustUsBoys because it's simply that, Just us boys. Not only do I love looking at smokin' hot guys like the next homosexual man, I also want to take something out of everyone's experience as a gay man and apply it to my future life. And I want to realize that I'm not alone. (As much as I accept lesbians as a part of the LBGT community, none of them can teach me how to be a gay man.)

 

[BrendonM91]

There is nothing to be taught about being a gay man, for everyone is unique, everyone is different and we all display or hide our homosexuality differently.

The only way to work out what it is like to be a gay man, you have to experience it first hand. And the first part of that is coming out, in your own time and on your own terms.

Secondly, you're looking at gay men in stereotypes, there are many different gay stereotypes from the twink teen, to the sexy college boy, to your hot daddies and bears. But not everyone fits into them, nor should they, stereotypes aren't all that they're cracked up to be.

See for example myself, I am very much like you, I am a younger guy (22) appear very straight, into rugby, cars, fishing, camping, four wheel driving, gym, beach, drinking with mates and am a bear/chub type guy. But I'm also into art, music, literature and am quite the academic type, with the body of a bear/chub. I don't go shouting that I'm gay at the top of my lungs, nor do I particularly show it in the way I dress or talk. If someone were to ask me I don't lie, however I don't broadcast it to the world unless I find you attractive and am into you or you know what to look for (you have to look really hard though, but by that stage you'd probably be arrested or if you're cute I'd have introduced myself ).

I know you're young, horny and hormones raging, but you needn't jump headlong into this. However if you're hell bent on hooking up with bears might I suggest a few apps to you my friend. Scruff and Growlr I have found to be great apps for hooking up with other bears and chasers alike. Very friendly guys on there and quite the studs as well. Give it a shot, that way you can stay somewhat anonymous and just explore things. There aint no love, like the love of a bear. Fuck hard, fuck good, but afterwards you got the best damn pillow and a good chill guy to lay with or whatever. I personally am moving away from my lust of twinks and college boys and more into the world of the bear/cub/cute boy chub. I find the sex and the friendship alot more fulfilling than that of the pretentious twinks.

 

[evanrick]

if appearing straight means banging chicks then i in no way appear straight.

 

[dragon08]

Being Gay has nothing to do with the stereotypes that are always portrayed, I wish that there were more gay guys that would just act themselves rather than putting up a feminine front to fit in,

I personally am also a 'straight' acting guy. (If anyone is upset over that comment then more guys should stop living up to the stereotype)

Being gay doesn't affect your personality or style at all. Oh and most mainstream religion doesn't hate us. It is only the loud ones that do. I am a catholic and I haven't really met any catholics that have treated me badly or hated me for being gay. There are a couple of them sure, but there are also plenty of atheists and Agnostics that hate us as well.


You aren't alone everyone is different some like us are just slightly more different than others in some aspects. but Welcome to the club, and Yeah I like to read the Coming out and Relationships section the most out of the forums, (well when I'm not looking at porn)

 

[KaraBulut]

Now back to who I am. I am also probably the straightest gay person I have ever met (if that makes any sense). I never wanted to wear pink, or dress like a girl, I LOVE classic rock music, I wear clothes that look "manly", but if you look at the content I fap to, there's no mistaking that I'm gay. I've found myself pretty intriuged with the "bear" subculture of LGBT culture. Usually a picture of a muscular daddy in a speedo is enough to give me a stiff proposition. But you know it really sucks? The fact that I'm 18 (I am NO Twink, whatsoever.). I'm also a virgin, all of the gay bear bars on Long Island, NY are 21+, I'm still in the closet and live with my parents so I can't bang bears without them eventually finding out, and the worst part is, I don't think anyone can teach me how to "be gay". (I look at all of the LGBT youth that would give anything to be straight and I want to learn how to embrace who I am, talk about ironic.)

You didn't really ask for advice, so probably the purpose of your post was to- as the title implies- get your story off your chest.

One of the first things that every gay man has to learn is to not use the word "straight" to mean "masculine". It's not just about the word "straight" but more about stereotypes and a lack of understanding that being attracted to men is a universal reality in every group- black, white, brown, Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant, effeminate, masculine...

While it's fine to recognize that you have an attraction to masculinity and to bears, you also need to socialize and meet other gay/bi guys your age. Because of that same diversity, you'll meet gay guys who are the finest people and you'll meet gay guys who are fucking messes. Part of the process is learning to spot the difference between the guys who are friend material and those who are not worth your time.

JustUsBoys also has a non-porn affiliate called Empty Closets that has forums specifically for guys in their coming out process. You're also welcome there.

 

[BrendonM91]

You didn't really ask for advice, so probably the purpose of your post was to- as the title implies- get your story off your chest.

One of the first things that every gay man has to learn is to not use the word "straight" to mean "masculine". It's not just about the word "straight" but more about stereotypes and a lack of understanding that being attracted to men is a universal reality in every group- black, white, brown, Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant, effeminate, masculine...

While it's fine to recognize that you have an attraction to masculinity and to bears, you also need to socialize and meet other gay/bi guys your age. Because of that same diversity, you'll meet gay guys who are the finest people and you'll meet gay guys who are fucking messes. Part of the process is learning to spot the difference between the guys who are friend material and those who are not worth your time.

JustUsBoys also has a non-porn affiliate called Empty Closets that has forums specifically for guys in their coming out process. You're also welcome there.

Well put! Spot on.

I just checked out the emptyclosets site, my god if only I knew this place existed not even 18 months ago during my coming out process.... That site needs to have a sticky or something in this forum so it's easier for those of us who are going through that process, seeing as it's tailored to that specific part of our lives.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well put! Spot on.

I just checked out the emptyclosets site, my god if only I knew this place existed not even 18 months ago during my coming out process.... That site needs to have a sticky or something in this forum so it's easier for those of us who are going through that process, seeing as it's tailored to that specific part of our lives.

There is a Sticky in the CO&R forum Good Resource: Emptyclosets.com that provides information about EC. EC has members of all ages, as well as an unpaid volunteer staff, who specialize in support of people in the process of coming out.

 

[camjam]

You dont need to really learn anything. You can easily be the same guy you are now, but still chase penis.

Nothing has changed.

 

[Seasoned]

I think what's missing for you is a gay circle of friends and acquaintances. If you're feeling like you don't belong it's probably for that reason. We all need a peer group but, stereotypically, younger people have more of a need of fitting in. As we get more confident with experience we tend to act more independent. In fact most gay stereotypes would instantly fall away if every gay person came out tomorrow. Bottom line? You don't need any more pressure so be gentle on yourself. Being attracted to men is what makes you gay.

 

[epod85]

Now back to who I am. I am also probably the straightest gay person I have ever met (if that makes any sense). I never wanted to wear pink, or dress like a girl, I LOVE classic rock music, I wear clothes that look "manly", but if you look at the content I fap to, there's no mistaking that I'm gay. I've found myself pretty intriuged with the "bear" subculture of LGBT culture. Usually a picture of a muscular daddy in a speedo is enough to give me a stiff proposition. But you know it really sucks? The fact that I'm 18 (I am NO Twink, whatsoever.).

Congrats you described me at your age. Stereotypes only describe a small section of gay men out there. Once you get out and meet more people you'll find that most of us are devastatingly normal. Be yourself and don't worry about whether or not you should be acting "gay", it's not a personality type it's a sexual preference.