Grindr Problems (Not Technical...)

[jm12480]

So, on the advice of a friend, I downloaded Grindr several months back. I do not use it often, as I find it to be a veritable meat market of judgmental, pretty people, most of whom have a laundry list of requirements that you MUST fulfill in order to be deemed worthy of being spoken to.

Me, being a nice, normal, average guy, did the brave thing - I found the best photo I have of myself (professionally photographed, not a bad iPhone picture), with a clear view of my face, smiling, looking warm and presentable, threw up my stats, and came up with some cute little "Hey there, I'm here to make friends and get to know you" bullshit.

In the 4 months I've been on Grindr, not ONE person has said hello to me, and of the probably over 100 people I've taken a moment to say a friendly hello to, not one of those has had the courtesy to say hello back.

What am I doing wrong? I realize it's a hook up app, and I'm not expecting to meet Mr. Right. That being said, should I take this as a sign of "You're hideous, and not worthy of being said hello to" to every man in the world, or are guys just a little too busy to be courteous? I can understand one or three guys not saying hi...but EVERY single one I've ever tried to communicate with ignoring me? That's sort of a proverbial slap in the face.

Curious to know if others have similar dating dilemmas they've experienced with this lovely application.

 

[Seasoned]

It's not your face. It's the get to know you line. I'm much too old to have any familiarity with hook up sites, but they sound like the bar scene in my day. Most people in pick up situations want to be picked up, fucked and then left.

You want to meet people and I think that is best done through organizations and clubs. Don't let this become a self esteem issue.

Use me like a tramp would garner responses, but not the kind you seem to be looking for. Stick to your guns and principles.

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

Seriously, hookup sites should not be taken seriously!

 

[looseliam]

Grindr is for fucking, not for friends.

 

[maxpowr9]

Grindr is for fucking, not for friends.

QFT. If you want gay friends, a hookup site is not the place to find them.

 

[NCDogGuy]

Have you tried meetup dot com? I had not heard of it before today when my therapist told me to use it.

I put "Gay" in the search and my zip and found several gay groups that profess to NOT be hookup oriented. Bowling, hiking, dinners, discussions, and such is how it is presented.

I haven't been to a meet yet, but it sounds promising.

Try it for your area! Not sure what their coverage area is.

 

[youngnihilist]

I've met 3 or 4 close friends on grindr, and not one sex partner, so, it can be used for friends.

 

[gumshoe]

It is primarily an app used for sex. I have it and log in a few times a week. I've never met anyone from it but I do have short chats with people that message me. Sometimes they extend to MSN. I'm not looking for sex. I have a bf. I just use it for chat with the expectation that I have no expectations because I'm actually not looking for something.

I think maybe with your profile you could add some personality to your photo. Make it clear but make sure it shows personality. I find too many guys will put up a plain picture of them and it's hard to judge what kind of person they are if it's simply a photo of them posing for the camera. And leave your tagline to be open. Something about you but not necessarily what you're looking for. If your goal is for people to message you, you can establish what you're looking for in messages. If your goal is to meet people for friends and/or a relationship and you want nothing else (sex, etc), then keep it stated in your profile but it will limit your response. However, if it's your goal, that's a good thing. If you consider your options somewhat open (are open to a hookup once in a blue moon), then it might be a good idea to not limit the type of guys that message you before they click the "chat" button.

 

[KaraBulut]

What am I doing wrong?

You're using a piece of machinery to try to meet people by remote control.

Turn off your phone and find people who you have things in common with and meet them... there are lots of guys out there looking to meet people in the real world.

 

[TheOscar]

That's weird. I never had a picture up and I got some hellos. Just ignore it, though. The people on there are so flaky and superficial.

 

[jm12480]

You're using a piece of machinery to try to meet people by remote control.

Turn off your phone and find people who you have things in common with and meet them... there are lots of guys out there looking to meet people in the real world.

I happen to be a professional stage actor, and work with a bajillion chorus boys and gay men every day of my life, and year round, and am constantly meeting new people. But thank you for implying I'm sheltered and don't get out enough into the real world. LOL

 

[KaraBulut]

You're using a piece of machinery to try to meet people by remote control.

Turn off your phone and find people who you have things in common with and meet them... there are lots of guys out there looking to meet people in the real world.

I happen to be a professional stage actor, and work with a bajillion chorus boys and gay men every day of my life, and year round, and am constantly meeting new people. But thank you for implying I'm sheltered and don't get out enough into the real world. LOL

I'm pretty blunt. I don't imply.

Here's the deal: back in the 1980s, people would go out to bars and constantly deal with rejection. Rejection because "I'm not looking for anything serious" or because "I just broke up with someone and I'm not ready to get hurt again" or because "You're not my type".

Then came chat rooms in the 1990s. Same situation, different medium, same excuses.

Now there's Grindr, Facebook and a whole bunch of other new media built around the same superficial exchanges and superficial excuses.

Every now and then, these situations work out but you have to get through most of the barrel of bad apples before you find one that is worth the effort.

If you're in the theatre, you have lots of opportunity to meet, socialize and network with gay people. For the most part, it's still a process of meeting people, talking with them, getting to know them and deciding if it's going to work as friendship or as something more than friendship.

If you think that people on Grindr are interested in taking the time to get through the process of getting to know you, then you'll probably be disappointed more than you'll get lucky. For what you're looking for, Grindr is not your best option.

 

[mbamike]

I did not have too much success with Grindr either. Try Adam4Adam or Manhunt. I have had success getting hookups with these two sites.

 

[swerve]

I LOVE Grindr...

Oh -- and I DO know what you are doing wrong -- because, initially, I made the same mistake...

CHANGE your "blurb" to take OUT the "making friends" part -- for SOME reason, that turns people off...

My blurb now says "Seeking Adventure" -- and I get TONS of messages -- yet, since I am NOT looking for hookups, it is vague enough to where I still get people to talk to -- and on RAREST of RARE occasions, even to meet up (as friends)!!!

 

[Aratron]

Grindr is for fucking, not for friends.

Which is ironic because nudity is not allowed there. Seriously, I'm tired of people saying ''it's for this, it's for that''. It's not necessarily only for fucking or hook ups

 

[Keanu18]

I tried grindr and while I did hook up with a cute white boy I met there, i deleted it because it wasted my battery on my phone too quickly.

 

[billybob109]

It's not just you trust me. Everyone I know who has the app including myself has the same stories over and over. I never get hello or hey how are you. I get " I want to suck your dick or where are you come fuck me". The app is retarded.