Guilt after Sex/Masterbation.. why?

[KaraBulut]

Well God says masturbation is wrong, so that's why alot of people feel bad when they do it but can't stop because its human nature.

Really? The last time God and I had coffee, he confided to me that he does it all the time.

 

[bankside]

Rareboy touched on the oh so "holy" God of the old testament refers to Onan, which is where "christians" today get this silly God said no masturbating mantra.

Just to recap here's what transpired. (the account is written about in Genesis chapter 38)

Judah had two sons, one named Er (eldest son) and the other Onan (next oldest). God decides to kill Er. Why? Bible scholars aren't sure, but God decided to kill him for whatever reason. Given that Er and his wife (named Tamar) had not had any male offspring yet Judah tells his younger son Onan, he must now marry Tamar and have children with her.

As you can imagine Onan ain't real happy that he now has to marry his brother's wife to get sloppy seconds. Not only that, but now all of Tamar's offspring will be considered to be Er's kids, even though Onan impregnated her. So Onan marries Tamar but refuses to impregnate her and pulls out just in time to give her a facial or blow his cocksnot in her backside, the bible isn't clear. So God hears about this and decides he's going to kill Onan now too.

Now Judah tells Tamar she will marry his youngest son named Shelah, but must move back in with her father until Shelah is old enough to marry her.

A few years pass, and Tamar realizes that Judah ain't going to be living up to his promise about his son marrying her and well, she ain't happy about that whole thing. So what's a girl to do? She disguises herself as a prostitute, and then seduces Judah himself while he was on his way to market. Judah gets her preggers with twins named Perez and Zerah.

So here we have fathers fucking daughter-in-laws, brothers swapping wives, prostitution, and all sorts of Jerry Springer like behavior. And yet, still, today people want to use this ridiculous story as "an example" of how the bible tells people it's wrong to masturbate?

The amazing thing to me is that they want to use it as an example of the reality of their faith. What a perverse tale, and yet apologists will say anything to try to rescue it. "Oh, it was culturally relevant at the time." Well, no, if that is the case, then Onan was a hero for trying to put civilisation on the right foot, but what was the reward for his troubles? Death. He should have been acknowledged as a great emancipator.

Next argument "It isn't just the bible, you know...there is tradition and practice that accompanies it." Well, it is 2000 years of tradition to try and uphold that stinker and find a way to explain or excuse it.

Ugh. Anyway i just wanted to clarify my earlier post about "comforting time." i just meant time to regenerate, not time with someone being taken care of or anything.

 

[Bohemian Rhapsody]

Really? The last time God and I had coffee, he confided to me that he does it all the time.

You must be really close to God in order to not go to hell for that...

 

[Bohemian Rhapsody]

Didn't Jesus sacrificice himself because of the sins they did?

So I guess afte that God didn't want a repeat of it, and that'll include maturbation, but not for sex since we have to in order to keep the world going strong.

Did that make sense?

 

[Bohemian Rhapsody]

Why did you put qoutes around God?

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Hello,


So I know this is more common problem than we think. I get a huge amount of guilt/discust/little anger/repulsion after I masterbate or have sex. I am 22 years old and I can't seem to figure out why. I have been in a few realtionships spanning 6 months to 1.5 years and all the time without fail this sensation comes over me.

I am not religous, I am not homophobic (I am gay) as I work in a gay bar, volunteer for gay activites.. have NO problem with being gay - its a beautiful tihng and I would not trade it for the world. I wasn't touched or phsycially abused by anyone. I don't take drugs. I don't think its wrong to masterbate at all!! Its healthy and I love doing it.

So just curious to know if anyone else been through this and discovered an answer?

Well, do you have any self-esteem issues? Be honest with yourself. It seems logical that that could have an effect on you. Other than that, if God isn't playing a part in this, and some kind of homophobia isn't playing a part, then I don't know what it could be? What are your feelings regarding sex? Do you think it is a beautiful thing, or does part of you think it is a disgusting act. Because that is actually an increasing trend in young people, and it can have effects like the ones that you are talking about.
Just think about it, be honest with yourself, maybe even talk to a counselor (they do wonders, believe me). Good luck

 

[Kyanimal]

Wow! Masturbation, Sex, Guilt, Religion ... This in ONE Interesting thread!!

I'm sure this is taking some turns that you didn't expect. Yes, Serg???

As for your problem ... I'm voting for the physiological/emotional effects of released endorphins. It can be quite astounding how much our own chemical reactions can mess with our minds and feelings. Clinical Depression is a prime, though more extreme, example. Our brains are VERY susceptible to endorphin triggers.

I don't get that Guilt feeling after masturbation. Well ... maybe I used to. But, one of the many reasons I liked to whack off was, precisely, because it was supposedly "Bad"!!

However, I am quite familiar with the "Love me/Get away from me" paradigm. Hot, Passionate, Intense, Tender, ALL over, and Into each other, Crazy, Naked, completely Vulnerable, yet Controlling, Subtle, Blatant, LOVE Making, and then when the "deed" is done, Leave me Alone!!

Oh, "after" ... I'll lay there, and snuggle/cuddle/kiss, and make nice purring sounds, and calming tender touches, just to be "nice", but then I'll roll away, and even hope they'll go sleep somewhere else!

The only times I've felt "Guilty" about it, though, is when it was with someone that I may have coerced into it, or someone I shouldn't have been with in the first place. (Like a partner of a friend of my partner! THAT was Not a "good" idea! But, still "Hot", none the less!)

Now for the Religion part ...

We are ALL made in God's image! ALL of us are a part of God! Therefore ... as far as I'm concerned ... ALL Guys are built to want to "Choke the Chicken", "Spank the Monkey", and Heaven knows what else! It is as much a part of our Nature ("Go forth and be plentiful."), as sleeping is. And, we all know what we're like when we don't get enough sleep! It's something that we Have to do! It's just the way we Are! Nothing "wrong" with that!!

THANK YOU! for the Onan story, "Rock"! Though the main "string" to it is Family and Property, Men being the only possessors of Anything, at the time, and that's why Tamar did what she did. Onan was upholding, as best he could, his familial obligations. It was just too bad, for him, that he wasn't "into" her, all that much! But, hey!, it was a time, and culture, when you had to deal with what you were dealt!

The "sin" of masturbation is the "wasting" of your precious seed! Then again, we are wired to produce so much of it, that if we don't "clean the gun", every once in a while, it just might stop working as well as it should! And, that wouldn't be all that "good" either, would it??

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz ;-)

 

[Serg01]

Yes, this is turning into a nice discussion. WHERE IS THE ROCK AND ROLL though? hehehe.

Self esteem issues. Look, I think 95% of people have a form of self-esteem problem. I know I am attractive (as unboastful as I can be) and I know I have no problem in getting a guy. I don't lack the confidence their at all.
I dont do it, but I have the potential.

I think sex is a beautiful thing - its so animal and when you start to add fetishism into it, it becuase something even more spectacular. My ex and I delved deep into fetishism and thats what drove our sex life.

Two things come to mind 1.A core belife I had with my ex was that I was a failure however then why would it still be there when I jerk off?
2.Internal homophobia? this interests me becuase i would love to see any type of homopohbia in me - as in I would love to know what it could be and where it came from.

I am liking this endorphan thing. Just sucks I guess.. maybe bad pick of the cards and I am just this way.

hehe - its become quite the reaserch project i can tell you that

I will say this.. that since posting this forum. I have now REALLY started to assess what my mind is doing after. Although I don't have a solid answer the intensity has dimished noticably and its become something less 'heavy.' Hopegully its a matter of changing the mind set.

 

[Serg01]

Maybe I have low testosterone levels... I heard that might be a trigger! Should I go see the doctor? Does anyone know if this is a trigger?

 

[BiMike]

I think the answer to your problem is to find a new boyfriend you can really love and cuddle after good sex!
Sex on its own is in my view is usually a let down , look at the animal world, just a quick fuck and walk away! Then later they cannot resist the temptation to come back for more ! Most of us guys are like that ! Horny beasts!

 

[GBirdie]

Maybe I have low testosterone levels... I heard that might be a trigger! Should I go see the doctor? Does anyone know if this is a trigger?

Lol, I thought this topic was a month old!

Well, No, I won't say that's the case. I have another answer for your question.


Anyway, I have the same problem as you do. MAYBE not exactly, but.... I get what you mean. For me, I feel depressed, tired, uninterested, and sometimes regret masturbating. It's like "Why the hell do I do that?" kinda feeling sometimes....


There are a couple of names to this symptom. Some mentioned earlier as "post-orgasmic remorse". I know it as PCD (Post coital depression).

To keep things simple, I won't be naming the hormones and chemicals involved in the process, haha. But did you realise..... that when you're having a hard-on, that you think differently? Like... you can't think straight, you see things in terms of 'turn-on's and 'turn-off's. And when you let it all loose, you just seem to loose your mind and everything else does not matter anymore at that very moment, all that matters is that wood and what you're feeling lol.

This is the job of the chemicals/hormones secreted in your body. Basically that's why people mention someone else is "thinking with your cock".... that's the situation...


But AFTER everything is over, RIGHT at the moment where you ejaculate/cum, your body produces ANOTHER type of hormone to "cool-down" or "shut-down" your sex drives and various other senses. It reverses all the effects you were feeling before you came. And this is unavoidable.

Some people might feel it more intensely, some might feel less, while others might not realise. But basically after you cum, you lose sexual interest and other things. You lose your hard-on, everything suddenly becomes clear to you. For the average person, this would usually last somewhere between 5 minutes to 30 minutes. (There ARE people with VERY short cool-down time, pornstars/people on drugs, that only need like 30 seconds or so.... but that's abnormal.... and not very healthy)


Hope that solves your doubts. Don't worry, you're perfectly normal. Just try not to take it too seriously, or think of it as a bad thing.... just know that your body needs a rest after such 'high' conditions.

 

[tallguy297]

Serg... a quick question?

If you masturbate while you are in a relationship either with your partner or apart do you still feel the guilt?

If its part of your love life and you are fine doing it with your partner present, but only feel the guilt while you are alone then as weird as it sounds it may be that you think you are being unfaithful... even out of a relationship.

Some guys think that sex becomes an act that should only be shared by lovers - no matter what the act. Various threads here in the past have questioned whether or not masturbating to porn while in a relationship is actually cheating.

If you only feel the guilt alone then perhaps you really feel deep down that for you to be sexually happy that you should be sharing your life with someone... and perhaps that ties into your feelings about your ex???

 

[risemix]

The guilt you're feeling is one of many common (and natural) reactions to the chemical changes your body experiences after orgasm. I can tell you that a lot of people experience it and you're not weird or alone. What I can't tell you is how you'd go about "fixing" something like that; how do you train your brain to react to a chemical change differently? It isn't like training yourself out of biting your fingernails or quitting cigarettes, that's for sure.

 

[Telstra]

Well God says masturbation is wrong, so that's why alot of people feel bad when they do it but can't stop because its human nature.

I think you mean young people were made to feel guilty about masturbation hence when they are adults the guilt stays in their brain and can't get rid off.


For me, i felt abit sleepy after cummed but no guilt.