Guy from military I think is bi

[Rex]

I'm in the service and there is a friend of mine. I always knew who he was from basic training because we were in the same squadron but we didn't become friends until about a month ago. We hit it off pretty quick and are good friends. He is a little bit metrosexual but very masculine and I always thought in the back of my mind he might be bi from certain mannerisms but I didn't think much of it because we always hang out with the same girls together and go to bars with them and he's interested in girls.

Anyway I started noticing that during conversations when we're alone he will make direct eye contact and sort of gaze into my eyes and give me this look as he's talking to me. I don't know how to describe it but it's the same look I will get from a girl when they look at me and the same look you'd give to someone when you're checking them out, like gazing deep in their eyes for a second subconciously as you talk to them.

So not only that but there is this pool that opened up on my base recently and I've been going a lot because it's really hot here. When I first mentioned about the pool I told him "i can't wait till it opens up" and his responce was "can't wait to show off those guns huh"? I never thought anything of it at first but when I put all these things up together I sort of get the impression that he's interested in me or something. Maybe I'm wrong but I know "the look" when I see it.


Does anyone out there know a way I can know for sure without putting myself out there or directly asking him? Like a non verbal way? I'm thinking I should go to the pool with him and see how he acts when I'm in my swimming trunks. It might give me a sign lol, but if anyone has any other bright ideas lemme know.

 

[Corny]

that thread from you?

Does anyone out there know a way I can know for sure without putting myself out there or directly asking him? Like a non verbal way?

No you can't. And everything you described just sounds like many other straight guys ..

 

[evanrick]

sounds like a plan and it sounds like you are right about him.
maybe this belongs in relationships

 

[AllMan]

I'm in the service and there is a friend of mine. I always knew who he was from basic training because we were in the same squadron but we didn't become friends until about a month ago. We hit it off pretty quick and are good friends. He is a little bit metrosexual but very masculine and I always thought in the back of my mind he might be bi from certain mannerisms but I didn't think much of it because we always hang out with the same girls together and go to bars with them and he's interested in girls.

Anyway I started noticing that during conversations when we're alone he will make direct eye contact and sort of gaze into my eyes and give me this look as he's talking to me. I don't know how to describe it but it's the same look I will get from a girl when they look at me and the same look you'd give to someone when you're checking them out, like gazing deep in their eyes for a second subconciously as you talk to them.

So not only that but there is this pool that opened up on my base recently and I've been going a lot because it's really hot here. When I first mentioned about the pool I told him "i can't wait till it opens up" and his responce was "can't wait to show off those guns huh"? I never thought anything of it at first but when I put all these things up together I sort of get the impression that he's interested in me or something. Maybe I'm wrong but I know "the look" when I see it.


Does anyone out there know a way I can know for sure without putting myself out there or directly asking him? Like a non verbal way? I'm thinking I should go to the pool with him and see how he acts when I'm in my swimming trunks. It might give me a sign lol, but if anyone has any other bright ideas lemme know.

Be very careful about this....this guy might be "pulling your leg" to see if you will take the bait. Lots of straight guys love to tease other guys, especially if they think (or know) the other guy is gay or bi. Trust on me on this, being in the military makes the whole confusion issue even more difficult and now you have a lot of factors to consider. The stares mean nothing; the smiles mean nothing; the comment about showing off your body means nothing. It's his way of showing that he is the alpha male and he in charge of how far the semi-homosexual atmosphere will go and and he wants to out you by giving you the rope and letting you hang yourself.

When I lived in the barracks, my roomie used to always get out of the shower and walk around with just his towel draped slightly below his waistline...just enough to show the upper part of his pubes and upper part of the crack of his ass---it was a teast; bait----what normal guy does that??? He was just doing it for attention to see if he could get a response from me. I noticed it, but didn't let him catch me looking----so guess what, after he didn't get the response he was desparate for, he stopped.

If your friend is getting even the slightest bit of a reaction from you, then he knows he has you hooked. You might not even realize it, but you probably are giving him some type of smile, subliminal verbal response, or your eyebrows might raise in amazement/delight when he says certain things----and trust me, he can pick up on the slightest response from you, even though you may not realize it.

Question: are you the slightest bit feminine or metrosexual at all? If so, that may be what he is thriving off of----and he is just fucking with you as a hidden way of making fun of you. And perhaps in your mind you think you are 100% masculine, but something about you may raise a red flag. My ex didn't realize he was as feminine as he really was, and all the guys in his platoon used to subliminally pick on him in the same way....because they knew this "fag" was an easy target.

This is one thing you can do....if and when you guys happen to be in a towel with nothing on under it---you should open your towel in his view as if you are adjusting it so you can keep it secure. Don't smile or smirk or look directly at him while your doing it. But, if you see his eyes go directly to your dick, for a longer time than usual, then that's a definite sign that he is at least bi and he does not know how to express it to you. Also, start gay bashing in your conversations.....if he joins in gay bashes too, but takes over the conversation and overdoes the harsh words...then that is a self-esteem issue and he is fighting his own homosexual battle. If he carries on a normal conversation with you but you notice no change in his attitude or body language or demeanor, then it means he is straight and secure with his sexuality. But if he sort of just agrees like "yep" "uh huh" "ur right"...and he is relatively quiet on the subject and you notice a change in his demeanor, then you know this a sensitive topic for him and there might be something he is hiding or ashamed of.....try it and lemme know how it works out

 

[Rex]

Be very careful about this....this guy might be "pulling your leg" to see if you will take the bait. Lots of straight guys love to tease other guys, especially if they think (or know) the other guy is gay or bi. Trust on me on this, being in the military makes the whole confusion issue even more difficult and now you have a lot of factors to consider. The stares mean nothing; the smiles mean nothing; the comment about showing off your body means nothing. It's his way of showing that he is the alpha male and he in charge of how far the semi-homosexual atmosphere will go and and he wants to out you by giving you the rope and letting you hang yourself.

When I lived in the barracks, my roomie used to always get out of the shower and walk around with just his towel draped slightly below his waistline...just enough to show the upper part of his pubes and upper part of the crack of his ass---it was a teast; bait----what normal guy does that??? He was just doing it for attention to see if he could get a response from me. I noticed it, but didn't let him catch me looking----so guess what, after he didn't get the response he was desparate for, he stopped.

If your friend is getting even the slightest bit of a reaction from you, then he knows he has you hooked. You might not even realize it, but you probably are giving him some type of smile, subliminal verbal response, or your eyebrows might raise in amazement/delight when he says certain things----and trust me, he can pick up on the slightest response from you, even though you may not realize it.

Question: are you the slightest bit feminine or metrosexual at all? If so, that may be what he is thriving off of----and he is just fucking with you as a hidden way of making fun of you. And perhaps in your mind you think you are 100% masculine, but something about you may raise a red flag. My ex didn't realize he was as feminine as he really was, and all the guys in his platoon used to subliminally pick on him in the same way....because they knew this "fag" was an easy target.

This is one thing you can do....if and when you guys happen to be in a towel with nothing on under it---you should open your towel in his view as if you are adjusting it so you can keep it secure. Don't smile or smirk or look directly at him while your doing it. But, if you see his eyes go directly to your dick, for a longer time than usual, then that's a definite sign that he is at least bi and he does not know how to express it to you. Also, start gay bashing in your conversations.....if he joins in gay bashes too, but takes over the conversation and overdoes the harsh words...then that is a self-esteem issue and he is fighting his own homosexual battle. If he carries on a normal conversation with you but you notice no change in his attitude or body language or demeanor, then it means he is straight and secure with his sexuality. But if he sort of just agrees like "yep" "uh huh" "ur right"...and he is relatively quiet on the subject and you notice a change in his demeanor, then you know this a sensitive topic for him and there might be something he is hiding or ashamed of.....try it and lemme know how it works out

I understand what you're describing but he's the one who initiates conversation with me and he's usually the one who calls me to hang out, so I don't understand why he'd be playing some kind of "I'm a straight guy who's baiting the bi/gay guy" and I honestly doubt most straight guys do that because there are tons of girls on base who they could seek that kind of attention from. Not to mention most straight guys aren't comfortable enough in their sexuality to tease a potentially gay guy. There was an obvious gay guy in my squadron and nobody tried that sort of thing on him. It was actually the opposite. They all gave him the cold shoulder. If someone was trying to play some kind of stupid mind game I'm sure I could pick up on it easily and the military isn't as homophobic as you might think. I mean, it still is but nowhere near as most people would probably think.

Ifanyone catches subtle signals it usually means they're gay or bi also because straight guys don't have as good gaydar and don't notice the little things. So if he thinks I might be bi then it's probably because he is too if you get what I'm saying.

As far as bringing up gay bashing, he's liberal so he wouldn't bash. Not to mention we had that gay guy in our squadron who was discharged because of a number of problems, so we've already brought up that conversation and he didn't say anything homophobic.

 

[AllMan]

I understand what you're describing but he's the one who initiates conversation with me and he's usually the one who calls me to hang out, so I don't understand why he'd be playing some kind of "I'm a straight guy who's baiting the bi/gay guy" and I honestly doubt most straight guys do that because there are tons of girls on base who they could seek that kind of attention from. Not to mention most straight guys aren't comfortable enough in their sexuality to tease a potentially gay guy. There was an obvious gay guy in my squadron and nobody tried that sort of thing on him. It was actually the opposite. They all gave him the cold shoulder. If someone was trying to play some kind of stupid mind game I'm sure I could pick up on it easily and the military isn't as homophobic as you might think. I mean, it still is but nowhere near as most people would probably think.

Ifanyone catches subtle signals it usually means they're gay or bi also because straight guys don't have as good gaydar and don't notice the little things. So if he thinks I might be bi then it's probably because he is too if you get what I'm saying.

As far as bringing up gay bashing, he's liberal so he wouldn't bash. Not to mention we had that gay guy in our squadron who was discharged because of a number of problems, so we've already brought up that conversation and he didn't say anything homophobic.

Well, yea---that's what I am saying...his gaydar probably went off on you because he might be bi or gay himself.....but, nevertheless, he sees you as a cool dude who acts straight----so that's why he feels comfortable with you. He feels you and he have something in common, but he just doesn't know how to break the icet with you yet....so instead he plays the "straight guy teasing the gay guy" game, hoping that you will slip up and expose yourself first...that way, it will make it easier for him.

Trust me, I know all about the military straight/bi/gay games firsthand!!! I played them all the time and still do. If anyone is an expert on the subject, it's me

It's all about timing and stuff....you just have to find the correct unique situation to place yourself in with him and everything will fall into place. He is probably ashamed and confused about his feelings, but there is something he sensed in you that makes him comfortable with you----he just needs an outlet to break the ice, and he definitely is not gonna let himself be the one to do it first!

 

[Rex]

Hmmm... I thinks you might be right but this isn't what you were saying in your first post. I just don't know how to play this "game" that well but I hung out with him today and I defeitely noticed the same kind of behavior.

I had no idea this game existed. Well... I guess I did. It's just never really happened to me.

Today when we were walking back from the store and for some reason we were on the topic of belts because we have to wear reflector belts at night on base. He sort of looked at my waist even though he knew I didn't have a belt on, looked at my legs and my crotch and then turned his head but it was kinda funny.

I wanna make a subtle move and see how he reacts.

 

[AllMan]

Hmmm... I thinks you might be right but this isn't what you were saying in your first post. I just don't know how to play this "game" that well but I hung out with him today and I defeitely noticed the same kind of behavior.

I had no idea this game existed. Well... I guess I did. It's just never really happened to me.

Today when we were walking back from the store and for some reason we were on the topic of belts because we have to wear reflector belts at night on base. He sort of looked at my waist even though he knew I didn't have a belt on, looked at my legs and my crotch and then turned his head but it was kinda funny.

I wanna make a subtle move and see how he reacts.

Yea, my underlying point has always remained the same...maybe the surface analysis was different based on the intial information you gave, but now that you have elaborated more...I have been been able to tailor my conclusion more accurately based on the new information you provided.....but the underlying concept has always remained the same whether he is really str8 or really gay or really bi, it's still the "straight guy teasing the gay guy game" and "I will let him make the first move" and "I am not gonna out myself first and make a fool of myself"

Good luck with him...keep me updated

 

[RobertE]

I was in the military also. This happened to me all the time. Until they get rid of don't ask don't tell just take it for what it is. Why risk your career. I always played along with them and nothing ever came of it.

I even had a guy ask me to give him a BJ one time when we were on the flight line waiting for a jet to land. It was night time and we were alone in the truck. I just laughed and said sure, why not! He just laughed also, but nothing happened. it's all fun and games really.

 

[willsboy84]

that thread from you?

LOL...been waiting for Sultan to return with a tale like this my damn self!!!

Good to see that all's well Sultan

 

[lambdaboy]

having been in the army I knowhow difficult this one is. I freked out any time I got signs like that because if wrong it would be awful. One guy I liked similar to the way this guy acts was always when it was just me an him making hot remarks. One weekend we were on pass and got a Hotel Room. both of us each almost scoring hot girls. Back at the hotel room just me and him we put on pay porn. Str8 of course. He started saying man we got so close tonight I swear if I was a girl Id be a slut with a big smile on his face. That got me so boned I was having trouble hiding it.

The room had 2 double beds both in briefs in our own after no talking just watchin the porn he said so If I let you fuck my str8 ass first wil you let me have a ride in yours man. I was almost frozen in shock. Ilifetd myself up and in the dim light that was on he was smiling waving a small box of condoms. I got up crawled over to his bed took my briefs down and he put the condom on me. I wet his hole with spit fingering him some and slowly worked it in. Once I ws fucking ina nice slow deep rhythym I said what the fuck and started kisisng his cheek. I unloaded fast threw my condom on the floor and he got on top of me tongue kissing and fucked me on my back.

It was nevr talked about again and once out of the service nevr heard from him again

 

[AllMan]

having been in the army I knowhow difficult this one is. I freked out any time I got signs like that because if wrong it would be awful. One guy I liked similar to the way this guy acts was always when it was just me an him making hot remarks. One weekend we were on pass and got a Hotel Room. both of us each almost scoring hot girls. Back at the hotel room just me and him we put on pay porn. Str8 of course. He started saying man we got so close tonight I swear if I was a girl Id be a slut with a big smile on his face. That got me so boned I was having trouble hiding it.

The room had 2 double beds both in briefs in our own after no talking just watchin the porn he said so If I let you fuck my str8 ass first wil you let me have a ride in yours man. I was almost frozen in shock. Ilifetd myself up and in the dim light that was on he was smiling waving a small box of condoms. I got up crawled over to his bed took my briefs down and he put the condom on me. I wet his hole with spit fingering him some and slowly worked it in. Once I ws fucking ina nice slow deep rhythym I said what the fuck and started kisisng his cheek. I unloaded fast threw my condom on the floor and he got on top of me tongue kissing and fucked me on my back.

It was nevr talked about again and once out of the service nevr heard from him again

Wow, hot story...yea guys are very funny beings, they can be such unpredictable characters (I call them characters because they are always playing a different role---whatever it takes to satisfy their selfish wants/desires for the moment & to suit the present situation, they are never consistent), especially military guys; sometime I just laugh at the things they do and say. Some guys actually believe they are straight even though they have done things with a man. And it's funny, after it happens, they will never speak to you again and act like it never happened----but while it was happening, they were so passionate and verbal and into it. LOL

Sometimes you just have to sit back and shake your head and laugh at them, and let them continue to enjoy their world of delusion.

 

[jdnaplaza]

Be very careful about this....this guy might be "pulling your leg" to see if you will take the bait. Lots of straight guys love to tease other guys, especially if they think (or know) the other guy is gay or bi. Trust on me on this, being in the military makes the whole confusion issue even more difficult and now you have a lot of factors to consider. The stares mean nothing; the smiles mean nothing; the comment about showing off your body means nothing. It's his way of showing that he is the alpha male and he in charge of how far the semi-homosexual atmosphere will go and and he wants to out you by giving you the rope and letting you hang yourself.

When I lived in the barracks, my roomie used to always get out of the shower and walk around with just his towel draped slightly below his waistline...just enough to show the upper part of his pubes and upper part of the crack of his ass---it was a teast; bait----what normal guy does that??? He was just doing it for attention to see if he could get a response from me. I noticed it, but didn't let him catch me looking----so guess what, after he didn't get the response he was desparate for, he stopped.

If your friend is getting even the slightest bit of a reaction from you, then he knows he has you hooked. You might not even realize it, but you probably are giving him some type of smile, subliminal verbal response, or your eyebrows might raise in amazement/delight when he says certain things----and trust me, he can pick up on the slightest response from you, even though you may not realize it.

Question: are you the slightest bit feminine or metrosexual at all? If so, that may be what he is thriving off of----and he is just fucking with you as a hidden way of making fun of you. And perhaps in your mind you think you are 100% masculine, but something about you may raise a red flag. My ex didn't realize he was as feminine as he really was, and all the guys in his platoon used to subliminally pick on him in the same way....because they knew this "fag" was an easy target.

This is one thing you can do....if and when you guys happen to be in a towel with nothing on under it---you should open your towel in his view as if you are adjusting it so you can keep it secure. Don't smile or smirk or look directly at him while your doing it. But, if you see his eyes go directly to your dick, for a longer time than usual, then that's a definite sign that he is at least bi and he does not know how to express it to you. Also, start gay bashing in your conversations.....if he joins in gay bashes too, but takes over the conversation and overdoes the harsh words...then that is a self-esteem issue and he is fighting his own homosexual battle. If he carries on a normal conversation with you but you notice no change in his attitude or body language or demeanor, then it means he is straight and secure with his sexuality. But if he sort of just agrees like "yep" "uh huh" "ur right"...and he is relatively quiet on the subject and you notice a change in his demeanor, then you know this a sensitive topic for him and there might be something he is hiding or ashamed of.....try it and lemme know how it works out

Start gay bashing in a conversation? Dude, you are fucked up. That is the worst thing I have ever heard in the forums.

 

[AllMan]

Start gay bashing in a conversation? Dude, you are fucked up. That is the worst thing I have ever heard in the forums.

Get a life dude! The OP and I are already past this, we already addressed this and this is old news....move on [moderator: last part of comment removed; inappropriate for the forums].

 

[Rex]

LOL, well this weekend the guy texted me asking if I wanted to hang out but I already had plans to go to the strip club with some of my other friends and we had a blast. I invited "guy" but he didn't want to go. I'll prob hang out with him later this weekend though.

 

[AllMan]

^^^wow, sounds like a case of jealousy to me...it's like if he can't have you all to himself, then he doesn't want to hang out at all with a group of friends----hint #1.

 

[Rex]

^^^wow, sounds like a case of jealousy to me...it's like if he can't have you all to himself, then he doesn't want to hang out at all with a group of friends----hint #1.

I don't know if that's the case. I did hang out with him for a little while and I wanna convince him to come to the strip club with us next weekend but we'll see. I might just go to a regular bar with him or something.

 

[sumyungguy]

I don't know if that's the case. I did hang out with him for a little while and I wanna convince him to come to the strip club with us next weekend but we'll see. I might just go to a regular bar with him or something.

Yeah it could be he doesn't like the guys you hang out with or there's someone in the circle he's not cool with. Doesn't mean he's only into you.

I honestly don't know what I would do in your case. If you do act on it and he freaks out, then you'll be the odd one out. What to do?

 

[AllMan]

^^^yea, just let it go and don't get your hopes up--don't torture your brain trying to figure out if he is bi or if he likes you; if it's meant to happen it will happen; if not, let it be and move on with your life...there will always be many others like him

 

[StlKj]

Start gay bashing in a conversation? Dude, you are fucked up. That is the worst thing I have ever heard in the forums.

This bears repeating--it's one of the worst pieces of advice I've ever seen on these forums. The originator of the idea deserves to be called out on it and should just suck it up instead of getting defensive about his offensiveness.

Epic Fail to suggest gay bashing as a means to try and ferret out if someone is gay.