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Guy I want to ask out...

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NickWilliams1101

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There's a guy who is in my social circle, and I've had my eyes set on him for at least six months...I'll refer to him as Brad. I'm 22, he's 20, and we're both in college and in the same major. He is very, for lack of a better word, "flamboyant", and it didn't seem like a question whether or not he was gay. For reasons that are a bit off topic and don't really have to do with him or even me, it was not an option for me to ask him out for most of those six months. We both have remained single.

Also in our social circle is a straight boy, who I'll refer to as "Mike". According to a lot of our friends....and, ironically, Brad himself pointed this out once...Mike and I look a lot alike, as though we could be related, have similar mannerisms, and are the same "type".

A few weeks ago, one of my close friends (female) and the guy I like were talking, and in confidence he told that friend that he was indeed gay but wasn't interested in dating anyone because "everyone always assumes he's gay" and he "didn't want to prove them right." She then asked him what his type was if we were going to date, and he said "Mike"....the straight boy everyone, including him, says looks just like me. He then went on to tell her that no one ever likes him except people who he is not interested in.

So...with all of this information, do you think the chances are good that if I asked him out, he would say yes? Obviously no one here is going to know the answer to that but I guess I'm posting this because A) I've never asked anyone out before, B) him turning me down wouldn't be the end of the world but it would be severely awkward because we will see each other often. Not relationship ruiningly awkward because we're not extremely close, but definitely awkward and it will definitely get around. There's also the fact he told my friend he wasn't interested in dating anyone. However, that conversation wasn't meant for my ears.

What are your guys' thoughts on this? Is this a bad idea completely or should I go for it?
 
LutheranGuy said:
Go for it !!!!!
Click to expand...

YUP!
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What they posted.​
 
Definitely go for it...however, for the first time, let it just be coffee or lunch so that it doesn't look like a date. If he does say no there will be no repercussion and no rumor to spread. Get to know him and find some joint interests. Take it slow and don't bring up anything gay. Let him confide in you about being gay if he so desires, that way he will see that you are not assuming anything about him. If you are that similar to Mike and you do not make any assumptions about him he may feel more free to start seeing you regularly. Let the chemistry work by beginning it all as a good friendship. Good luck.

Craiger
 
Figure out a way to be alone without making a big deal. Coffee, a snack or meal or even a movie would be a good start. His attraction to "Mike" might not be solely based on looks, but might be personality or even unattainability.
 
OK, here's the deal, guys who are interested in you act like it. Yes there is the species of clinically shy gay who will never look interested, but then even if you ask him out directly, chances are he'd bolt so he's not datable until he works out his issues anyway.

Regular guys aware of themselves and on the prowl, will make themselves available for things like coffee, they will call you and callyou back, they will want to see a movie or hang out, they will have long conversations, if you are in college they will study with you at the library. They will aid and abet you in getting together, then getting together alone.

All this without anyone having to ask anyone else out! Of course at some point you must either speak or act, or you will die of blue balls.

Now if he's not calling you back, indifferent, has somewhere else to be, is just "buddy," he's not interested gay or straight.

It's really that simple, watch what he does, and you'll know.

This of course does not apply to faggots with closets. (actually it does, I get real suspicious of a guy who wants to be extremely "buddy" with me on short notice, but that's advanced queer and you aren't there yet.)
 
I should add a rider to that - watch what he ACTUALLY does, don't hyper-analyze his every gesture LOOKING for what you WANT to see.

For example, him patting you on your shoulder is not a prelude to lustfully stroking your pole, and him telling you he doesn't have a date this weekend is not an invitation to swallow his tongue.

Dating is an adventure, have fun with it, just remember, there are all kinds of animals in the jungle.
 
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