Guys are fuckwits (Except you and me, of course)

[breatheH20]

Some guys are weird. But I can give some advice from firsthand.. don't make yourself too available, ever! I did that the first time around, totally got crushed. And who knows, maybe those guys really just wanted a quick fuck, and knew exactly what to say to you to get it..

Either way, you'll find Mr. Right one day, in the mean time find you a Mr. Right Now

 

[drhladnjak]

IMHO, gay dating/chat sites are just a breeding ground for flakes (who will flirt but then disappear), guys looking for hookups (who will not waste their time waiting around for a guy who wants to wait to have sex) and guys who are just looking to chat (who will flirt but probably never meet you in real life and if they do they probably just want something platonic because they already have a boyfriend). Sure, there are others out there too, but those three types constitute the lion's share. In the end, you've either got to have a lot of patience to sift through all the dreggs for that diamond or you've got to get offline and start spending more time meeting guys in the real world.

 

[puka-pride]

uhh its cus its the internet... can't keep a guy hooked if you've never even met him in person

 

[luminum]

Perhaps they just feel more confident behind a computer screen. When things get too real, they crumple and back out.

Don't let it get to you. Find a nice guy in the real world first

 

[oz1983guy]

Has anyone ever had someone who was obsessed with you, got your hopes up then just fucks you over like your a gross pickle in an otherwise delicious burger?

I have no idea why, but when i read that i immediately knew it was written by an australian.... maybe it's the "fucks you over" part.

anyway...please continue...

 

[Elwood]

I would not worry about it to much for every 1 nice guy on the net there are probably 20 freaks lol. Those guys were probably being nice because they were trying to get into your pants. Good for you and standing your ground. Hopefully after you weed out the freaks you will find that 1 nice guy. Keep on fishing.

 

[MindBlast]

Cause guys are lazy and most want sex.

I'm like you in that I wait to have sex. I want to know for sure if he's good for me. A lot of guys can't handle that.

 

[iamthesean]

well it's hard to say much that hasn't already been said...I'll try and draw on some of my own experience of the gay scene to answer.

1) guys online (especially ones that see you have a cute pic etc.) will generally only be interested in sex, more pictures, or somthing along those lines

2) gay guys in general aren't usually that good at friendships, long-term relationships, or the concept of waiting for sex

3) most people can only hold up a facade for so long before getting frustrated and short, or mean, or just plain catty, and this holds ten-fold for homo's.

References:
came out at 17 (both to myself, and everyone else)
never really had gay friends until about 22-23, always had the best straight friends though
now 24, having spent about 6 years in the gay community (of ontario) and a regular partyer.

So to summarize...fuck'em! (not literally), it's probably better off that you find out that they're douche bags before you get too close than long after its too late, and don't let go of your honesty, or your values for anyone. it's a rare find amongst younger gays, and if you want a friend to just chat on msn with, i'm looking for one of those as well, and would be happy to oblige

cheers, and good luck!

 

[Jeimuzu]

Has anyone ever had someone who was obsessed with you, got your hopes up then just fucks you over like your a gross pickle in an otherwise delicious burger?

I did a review of my little "affairs" (net affairs ekhh! ) and I've had 6 guys flirt with me, tell me that they wanted to date me, called me extremely adorable with my innocent naivety blah blah blah etc, you know, all the stuff that made my heart flop around and shit, and they just ended up either not calling me, being rude or giving shitty blunt replies on msn.

Why did they do that? Why did they get my hopes up and just forget about me?

I feel like I'm saying or doing the wrong things but I flirt back, I give back compliments, I make them laugh with stupid jokes. What more do they want?

Is it because I tend to be too honest? Is it because I tell them that I want to wait for sex for a while?

I don't think I'm hideous so it can't be that. *strikes a pose*

For those who are experienced, what are your thoughts?

I'm Matty b, JUB news.

Problem is, most of the guys that're really hot, confident and smooth operators, have one slight problem. They're often flaky unreliable bastards.

It's definitely not your looks, you're one cute guy. They're just people who just want a quick fuck.
I'm not hot or confident. Fancy coming over ? It's a bit of a walk...

 

[Just_Believe18]

Compliments are cheap and easy. If you don't respond to their advances right away, they move on. The thrill is there and then it's gone and you're not worth it anymore. Those type of guys you don't want anyway so you shouldn't feel offended. Be thankful nothing happened!

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Matty,

First thing is...dont change. Dont let these experiences build walls, create barriers or make you feel like you need to approach things differently. Your openness honesty and values maybe are too intimidating for some. They maybe are too different for others who just want quick encounters and nothing more. But the guys who are flaking on you would have always flaked on you...once they had met you and tried to do more than you were comfortable with.

You are you. A unique guy with your own set of standards values needs and wants. Stick to em. If others dont agree or want to respect that then they are most likely people you could do with out in your life. In a way mate I think whats been happening is a good thing. As much as it hurts and seems like a waste of time and emotion its far better to see this side of these blokes before you get even closer.

Now, having said that... I have met some amazing people on the net..this site as well. Sure there are dickheads...you just gotta weed them out. But net friendships are different...harder maybe. It takes longer to get to really know someone. Its more work because you almost have to force things out of each other that might more easily flow sitting around a bar. And worst still...it can be harder to keep in contact and stay in touch.

But does that mean that real genuine contacts and friendships and relationships cant happen via the net. No way... they happen all around us every day.

Just take your time. Move more slowly,dont give yourself too quickly because thats easy to do on the net... but dont change. Dont hide. But also dont be discouraged because you've only met idiots. Be prepared to work with the good guys...you know life goes on and sometimes the net becomes a luxury we sacrifice to fit other stuff in. But that sure doesnt mean that those guys are not on our minds or that we dont wonder what they're doing today....to just give up too easily because its harder work and takes longer and more effort to genuinely know someone than face to face means you just might miss out on real freindships and relationships.

There are guys right here on this site that have enriched my life and open my eyes...yet they are a world away. We'll probably never meet...and at times chat once a week or every few weeks. But I'm glad we talk...and I'm glad we make the effort.

You're a smart guy matty (with a wicked sense of humour too....JUB news ...lol). You'll figure the ones out who are worth the effort. Just keep being honest and open and let the drifters fall where they may...its their loss.

 

[drhladnjak]

There are guys right here on this site that have enriched my life and open my eyes...yet they are a world away. We'll probably never meet...and at times chat once a week or every few weeks. But I'm glad we talk...and I'm glad we make the effort.

This part of your post really resonated with me. I'd say this site is fundamentally different than a dating or chat site in a positive way. Most guys came to this site for the porn and those that stick around tend to do it for the conversation, advice and general community. I know I didn't start posting on or reading here with the intent of meeting people in real life (even though I actually have). I certainly didn't come here looking for sex with others. For most dating sites, the drive behind those visiting is almost always to meet somebody for a relationship or for sex. It's interesting how the difference in intent plays a huge role in the interaction its users have.

 

[oz1983guy]

I dunno about ultimo tafe but you could go to to UTS or sydney uni, they both have "queerspaces" which are open to anyone.