Guys Don't Like Me

[Orlandude]

Hmm...before you start beating yourself up about it, understand that it may be that you are looking for what you want in the all
wrong places. Most of those "dating" sites are actually "hookup for sex" sites and many of the guys on them may already have a partner or not really looking for anything beyond a one-time meetup. Some of them have this imagined "adonis" they hope to meet and can never find anyone that matches their imagination.

Try meeting guys in person, at a club, bar or gay social/sports event. That way you are meeting people immediately, can be yourself and work around all the on-line games. It might be worth a try.

 

[josher]

Orlandude is right.

The overwhelming majority of people on those sites are just looking for sex.

You live in a big enough city for there to be lots of gay organizations/clubs/sports groups etc.

There is probably a local gay newspaper. Find a copy and see what types of gay groups are listed and join a few.

When you start getting to know some gay people, you'll meet others, and before you know it you'll have some friends. That the most likely scenario for meeting potential boyfriends (or even hook-ups, if you're intersted in that.)

There may also be a Gay and Lesbian Center in Brisbane. Call them and ask about gay social activities.

 

[trawler69]

I don't think there is anything wrong with you, it is just that the people you meet are really just looking for quick sex whilst you are not, you are looking for something deeper like friendship. They are on a more superficial level. You stick to your guns and wait until someone is prepared to open their eyes and look for more than just a hookup. Your agenda (friendship first) is going to give you a happier future than theirs of "sex first"

Don't feel rejected, you just have different priorities that, in the long term, will make you a happier person.

 

[JetSetJake]

I totally hear what you're saying! I am in a very similar situation. It seems to me that the other respondees are right - it's just the way people are. Especially the guys on these dating sites. Even when they say they are looking for friends etc, in reality that still means they want to hook-up with somebody for sex

It's not a bad thing to look for more than just sex, but it's hard to keep taking the knocks from people who seem to think that cos they're not interested in you sexually, that that precludes any possible friendship. It probably never even crosses their mind that you might not even want to sleep with them either. You're true to your word/profile etc and you want to make friends with people. At least one consolation is that you're not wasting your time investing in a friendship that is just one-sided.

Given the large volume of guys online, it's fair to say that there must be at least some (the laws of statistics and all that jazz lol) who have the wherewithall to be friends. It's just a question of persevering and finding them I guess. But again, like has been said earlier, meeting guys in person at gay groups/clubs etc is the best way forward. That way you don't get the kind of guys how behave one way online and another in real life. You live in a large city, so there must be opportunities that you can investigate in this regard.

Beyond that, I don't have any advice how to solve the situation cos I'm still trying to do so myself lol.

All the best and above all: head up, shoulders back, and be proud to be a deep and thoughtful individual

 

[KaraBulut]

You live in a big enough city for there to be lots of gay organizations/clubs/sports groups etc.

There is probably a local gay newspaper. Find a copy and see what types of gay groups are listed and join a few.

When you start getting to know some gay people, you'll meet others, and before you know it you'll have some friends. That the most likely scenario for meeting potential boyfriends (or even hook-ups, if you're intersted in that.)

There may also be a Gay and Lesbian Center in Brisbane. Call them and ask about gay social activities.

I'm with josher on this one.

The problem with dating sites is that these "dates" always seem to be things where no one exactly knows what the rules are.

"Does he just want a one-night stand?"

"Is he looking for a serious relationship?"

"Are we just friends?"

And too often, it just seems that people leave at the end of the night not knowing whether it's okay to call or email or text.. or whether they're supposed to wait for the other person to make the first move.

The best way to meet nice guys is to get out there and make friends- just choose your friends wisely. Good friends will introduce you to other good people. And gay social groups is a great way to find other guys with whom you have something in common.

 

[KaraBulut]

Good friends will introduce you to other good people. And gay social groups is a great way to find other guys with whom you have something in common.

Not always.

Well, then they're not exactly good friends, are they?

 

[JMR00]

Blond guy, living in the same country and state as you I find exactly the same thing! We're probably even using the same website.....You're a little bit ahead of me with the number of people you've talked to, I've talked to probably 5, made one really good freind from it, and had a few that I talked to/met once and never heard from again - even though things seemed to have gone really well.

So you're not alone! Obvioulsy there are some good ones out there (you)...so dont give up.

 

[youngnihilist]

I'll add in and say its been really difficult finding gay male friends, everyone just wants a hookup, and if there isnt a hookup pretty quickly, then it falls through , i admit i've been guilty of this too. i think the only tiem gay friends can work is when one of the friends is definitely not interested in the other, but still willing to pursue a friendship.

 

[Rex]

Yeah, Gay hookup and dating sites are always trash. I never find anyone good on those.

You are a nice looking guy. Surprised nobody has called you back or whatever.

What are you looking for? A relationship?

 

[FunDude]

^ - a friendship.

When the guy said that you are a nice guy, but not what he was looking for he was correct.

He was saying you are a nice guy. But he wants someone that he could just have a one night stand with or something. You're not that type of material, and thats what he wanted. Honestly? I think thats a great thing.

As far as making friends goes, I could use some pointers in that myself.. I have "friends", i dont like any of them really though. One of them introduced my to someone that tried raping me.