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Guys in open relationships: are you judged?

tombastep said:
If there are these kinds of men in monogamous relationships who don't really want it, then that means I would need to know my Partner knows his way home as well.
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IF? LOL, well there's some pretty rose colored glasses, do you lend them?

No it means he'd cheat while you were oblivious then you'd both have a huge drama when he got caught.

My post is self explanatory. I have nothing further to add.
 
TX-Beau said:
Or maybe I'm interpreting correctly as that is what he could have said if that is what he meant.
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Perhaps that would be a better argument if it wasn't already established that the messages we intend to get across are frequently lost in translation from thought to text. Based on what I know of MoufofKhaos from the last few years, I think I interpreted his intent fairly well.

Also, check out my edited post.
 
Esquire0399 said:
Perhaps that would be a better argument if it wasn't already established that the messages we intend to get across are frequently lost in translation from thought to text. Based on what I know of MoufofKhaos from the last few years, I think I interpreted his intent fairly well.

Also, check out my edited post.
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All I have to go on is what he posts. So if he's misunderstood, he can clarify or not as he chooses. But you arguing his intent doesn't really do much for anyone.

It's human nature to pass judgement, so that's OK right?

Please, if it's human nature to pass judgments why are you bothering to bring it that up at all? It'll happen, judgements tossed, everyone's guilty, so be it.

I'm not fighting for anything, I'm annoyed at small minded knee jerk hypocrisy.
 
once I went to a guys house that responded online to me. I could see pictures of him and another guy all over the house. I asked who the other guy was in the pics with him and he said that was his husband/lover and he lived there with him too. I asked if he was going to be home anytime soon and he said "no, but he knows youre here. We are in an open relationship and he gets off knowing I am with other guys while he is away"

Later that day, I got a text from the husband, thanking me for "taking care" of his husband that afternoon and invited me to join in with them both next time so he can watch..
I thought that was pretty cool. I dont think I could ever be that open with my partner. Like Genthree said, you are there till something better comes along, is how I would view it too.
 
My husband and I have never looked outside our relationship for sexual gratification. Now, sure, we both think a threeway might be hot. But we're happy enough with each other that we only need each other.

I can only "judge" open relationships on the only open relationship I have witnessed in person. Big disclaimer up front, I'm sure this "couple" is not a typical example of an open relationship.

They were middle aged and apparently started off quite happy with one another. The older of the two likes younger men. As they were together for a few years, the younger of the two got "too old" to keep the other guy's interests the way he used to. But they both say that they are happy together.

They live together, but do not spend time together that often. The time they do spend at home together is spent in separate rooms on their computers looking for thirds or individual hook ups. They both attend a weekend support group for gays and lesbians together, but spend the time there hitting on college kids.

They fight with each other a lot, and run each other down behind the other's back. But sometimes they get along pretty well, laughing, and joking, but usually only when they have a third guy with them.

The older of the two ended up having a recurring fling with a student of his and now faces charges for it.

Even though they both say they are happy together, I just don't see it. Especially the younger of the two, he always seems depressed, always. It's sad.
 
TX-Beau said:
Wanting to fuck everyone is probably some kind of self esteem issue. I for one have never wanted to fuck everyone - certainly not everyone BUT THE GUY I'M WITH. That's idiocy. I'm pretty picky, my partner is the best, or I wouldn't be with him, which is exactly how he feels about me.
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Uhuh, and yet, somehow, you've added this:

TX-Beau said:
This characterization that all open relationships are about hedonism 24/7 is ridiculous.
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Which has nothing to do with what I said, at all. I'm, by and large, indifferent(apathetic) to how ALL relationships are handled BUT my own.

You're annoyed at knee-jerk reactions and yet continue to make them. Can't have it both ways. And please, don't try and take one thing I stated and interpret only that in a way to elevate yourself - it's... well, like you said, idiocy.

BTW, Esquire was quite correct on my point - he reads well. I'd go further, but i'm going to work. ..|
 
TX-Beau said:
Wanting to fuck everyone is probably some kind of self esteem issue. I for one have never wanted to fuck everyone - certainly not everyone BUT THE GUY I'M WITH. That's idiocy. I'm pretty picky, my partner is the best, or I wouldn't be with him, which is exactly how he feels about me.

This characterization that all open relationships are about hedonism 24/7 is ridiculous. If I don't think you are hot, I don't want to fuck you single or partnered, and the majority of guys out there aren't aren't going to qualify.

Frankly I don't have the time to go fuck everybody even if I was so inclined if I want to pay my mortgage.
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You say you have the best partner and that you are picky.
How picky can you be if you are choosing to have sex with less than the best?
 
Um, it's really not the same. One thing to be worried a partner might cheat (which, btw, never happened to me, if I'm not confident about their fidelity, I'd just not be with them. Call me stupid), another to KNOW they are out there fucking someone, but STILL would come back to you.

I fully agree that this puts more pressure on a relationship than simple worry about fidelity.
 
i have a few friends who are in open-relationships.

i don't understand it as well as i want, but i don't judge them.

i'm very old-fashioned and i certainly have too many trust/insecurity issues to be in one. i like monogamy a lot, never been in a different type of relationship aside from one where it's just the two of us and nobody else.

then there's the whole std thing that i'd be too paranoid about too, there's only so much a condam can do.

def. not my cup of tea ...but live and let live, boo.
 
I've never imagined my partner and I are judged harshly. Rather, I believe we're widely admired. We first met at 24 and exclusivity was never even discussed, nor has it ever. We've set some rules, but that's about it. Can't imagine the relatiionship would have lasted beyond a few months if we had demanded exclusivity.
 
treanir said:
My question (yes, there's a question!): are guys in open relationships really judged that often and that harshly, or am I just chatting to insecure defensive pricks? I personally have never talked to anyone who thinks it's principally wrong, so I would say it's the latter. But I would like to hear your thoughts about this. :)
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i think you're chatting to insecure, defensive pricks.

i honestly don't care if they think they are judged too often or too harshly. they have defined their relationship as they see fit. its their bag, let them hold it.
 
I've read some hard and judgamental sentences about open relationship in some profiles. So I see where the need of justification can come. But this answer
"who are you to judge us? It's my life to do with what I want!"
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is too much.
 
to each their own. whatever works for some. I've met couples in open ltr's and they have been together for 25+ yrs, same with monogamous ones. whatever rocks your boat.
 
open relationship is not wrong.
I have milked afew married men and their cum is hot LOL ... :)
 
^Is that why you're married now? So you could have one on tap? :lol:
 
Huntneo(PT) said:
Me too!

I love sucking fat married mens cocks...it's so hot and fun knowing that it's someone else's husband. It turns me on even more. I like sucking their cocks while they're on the phone with their wives.

fat cocks yay!

I let them cum all over my face too, then rub their baby batter all over my body. Married men cum is better than any other!
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lol, speaking for yourself hay ;)
 
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