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Guys or ladies... Huge dilemma these days

flyguy

flyguy

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So, I've been thinking for a while now and realize that I'm bisexual. No one yet knows that I feel this way... or at least they haven't mentioned that they think so. I have a huge attraction sexually to guys although I've never had an experience with one. I'm also attracted to women from the standpoint of who I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's Interesting though, that I want so bad to settle down with someone and feel that I have found someone who i could definitely do that with. What sucks is that I also want very bad to try something with a guy to see if my lust turns into something different.

Becuase of this, I stop myself from getting to involved with the ladies and use different excuses that I'm just not ready to move on from my ex. I would hate to have someone become attached and me not be ready to settle down. I guess that's what happen with my ex.

Has anyone else felt this way at all? Recommendations?
 
I'm also attracted to women from the standpoint of who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Click to expand...

But you don't have a huge sexual attraction to them?

Yep, I felt as you did. It took me a long time to come out to myself -- into my thirties. I feel like I really missed out on a great time of being young, beautiful, and fully at ease with my sexuality. I don't recommend that course of action.

On the other hand it may have kept me alive as AIDS was just beginning its ravages. Now we know how to keep safe so I say go for it and find out for yourself.

Agonizing over it for years isn't worth the energy, trust me.

Good luck and again, be safe!
 
Why the HELL are you contemplating settling down at the age of 24? You haven't even reached your prime yet - settling down happens after you've travelled the world, had six different jobs, been in and out lof love with both genders, squandered a thousand dollars and saved five thousand, learned to run a household and cook a souffle - in short, after you've learned how to live.

If you want to be a grey-suited, grey-haired, prim, respectable middle-class working man living in grey suburbia with a grey wife, grey kids and a billion regrets then it's your choice.
 
Flyguy--you've been a member for 2 years and this is your first post?! Where have you been?! LOL

A BIG WELCOME FOR FINALLY POSTING HERE!

Back to topic.

You seem to have an attraction to men...whether it's strong or not, I don't know but it doesn't seem like it's just a passing one.

I'd definitely try it and see how you like it. Try several. Oh hell, be a slut and work your way up the street (just kidding).

The point is--who you are finding physically attractive and who you're lusting after is a big clue as who will attract you as a romantic interest. Don't fall into the trap of doing what you think is socially-sanctioned just to have kids, and the house in the burbs and the white picket fence. It's very lonely out there when you're married to one person, but lusting after a whole class of people.

Welcome again. Don't wait another two years to post!
 
Sometimes, Fly, it can be a fun balancing act....Sometimes it's confusing...I still don't have the answers...


flyguy said:
So, I've been thinking for a while now and realize that I'm bisexual. No one yet knows that I feel this way... or at least they haven't mentioned that they think so. I have a huge attraction sexually to guys although I've never had an experience with one. I'm also attracted to women from the standpoint of who I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's Interesting though, that I want so bad to settle down with someone and feel that I have found someone who i could definitely do that with. What sucks is that I also want very bad to try something with a guy to see if my lust turns into something different.

Becuase of this, I stop myself from getting to involved with the ladies and use different excuses that I'm just not ready to move on from my ex. I would hate to have someone become attached and me not be ready to settle down. I guess that's what happen with my ex.

Has anyone else felt this way at all? Recommendations?
Click to expand...
 
Flyguy;

I was in your shoes a few months ago....

I was in a long term (2 years and running) relationship with my ex-girlfriend who was wanting to settle down in the coming months. And by settle down, it was move in to my home and get a dog.. ha.

In any case, we broke up - in a long drawn out bad way.. but it was better for me. She still doesn't understand why, but at the time I couldn't pin-point it either until I met someone else a few weeks later.

I've come to realize that living the traditional dream (And by that I mean white fence, house and kids. ) isn't for me and I'm going to make my own. I'm happy, I'm in love, and it feels great.

I guess after all this mumbojumbo.. my only advice is to follow what you want - it's your life, take your own path and not one already trek'd on.
 
dude, doesn't sound like you're sexually attracted to women, which would make the whole settling down thing kind of difficult.

If the idea of having sex with women appeals to you, then yeah, you could be bisexual.

But if you're only interested in sex with men and more companionship from women, then you're probably not bisexual.
 
Thanks for the comments.
Yeah, the interesting thing is that I am sexually attracted to both men and women. But i'm probably about 60:40 to be honest (more on the male side of course). Like I said, I've not been with a guy yet so I guess that's why i really am so curious about the whole thing. I was in a long term relationship for about 2 1/2 years with my ex-girlfriend and it just didn't work outfor many reasones. Maybe this is my clue to try something different. I've just been so weary to try another relationship with girl till I try one with a guy first.
Oh, I just need to get some balls and go for it.
 
I think that if you do not explore the "gay" side of yourself that you will end up hurting yourself and the girl you are seeing at the time. Just go out and experiment with men and see how it goes. You may love it and never return to the "straight" side of yourself. (!)
 
Thanks for all your input. I'm working on exploring the "other" side at this point. I may have found a guy in my area to try some things with. We'll see how it goes if we do hang out.
 
Feel free to keep us informed on how it goes. As it has been noted, there are several guys who have been or currently are in the same boat as you. It's a process. A couple months ago, I finally fleshed out the fact that my sexual attraction to guys was not going to go away anytime soon, yet my attraction to women wasn't non-existent either. I'm still working out the details, but at least I'm addressing the issue instead of trying to hide from it.

Take care.
 
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