Guys who talk with a LISP !!!

[blackbeltninja]

Poser,

So a gay who wants to prove their masculinity by being as "not gay" as possible or assert their masculinity by beating up a gay person with a lisp ISN'T posing? You agree with him yet by your statement you must not be able to stand him. Interesting.

Well, I think I see what I think you're saying. But what does "gay" mean to you? Does it mean attracted sexually to men, as in homosexual? Or does it mean effeminate, with a lisp, dressing fabulously, being creative, adoring Miss [insert the name of your favourite diva here] and so on with all the other stereotypes thrown in for good measure? If we isolate the fundamental differences between gay and straight, the only real difference is sexual preference - yes?

This may seem like aimless rambling, but stick with me - I think (hope) I tie it up neatly enough below.

So I'm not sure that being "not gay" involves being masculine at all. There are plenty of masculine guys on this board who are gay. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive and so I don't think anyone both masculine and gay is definitely a poser (although I don't doubt for a second that a proportion of them are).

Having said all that, I don't think Surfboy is a poser, either. However, affecting a lisp which is not congenital at all is most definitely posing.

Your response did make me stop to think about it again, though.
-d-

 

[Soilwork]

you know Surfboy, considering you're all down on anything that would resemble anything like "gay", you sure do have some Feminine-looking girly men in your signature file.

I mean, most of them have drag-queen eyebrows, makeup and very girly smiles. Are you sure you're gay? Maybe you just hate women and need feminine men for sex.

It's just a thought.

I know you're a bag and a half of issues and wish that all gay people would just be gay in the privacy of their own homes, but I think the proper response to that it "Screw you".

I'll be as gay as I want to be in public or in private, and if I want to hold my BF's hand while walking down the street or ride in a gay motorcycle club or wear a Tom of finland shirt or actually NOT pretend to have a girlfriend, I'll do it.

And there ain't a freaking thing you can do about it, either.

(and if I ever decide to put on some pumps and walk down the street in a dress, I won't be asking for your permission either... I might need Robert's help, but that's about it)

 

[Soilwork]

So all this "I AM A MAN AND I ACT LIKE A MAN AND WILL KILL THE PUNY HOMOS WHO DON'T ACT LIKE THE MAN THAT I AM" isn't an annoying trait you express for attention?

How about all the hard work you do against the gay community as a way to prove you're more of a man?

I mean, really.

 

[khembalou22]

What I want to know is what sadist invented the word "lisp" and put the "s" in it?

You sssooo funny!!!

 

[Soilwork]

we're talking about how annoying poseurs are.

and I'm agreeing with you.

 

[ladygrey]

Well,

I won't weight in. Cause as a lisping man, I know my opinion would likely be sidetracked into some debating on ascerting myself...etc.

And I don't want.

What I do want to is one thing I find myself telling many people this world over:


If you're happy (and I mean "self loving, empowered, and forgiving"), than why should someone's opinion of you matter?

So for all of us who replied to this (with some intelligent reponses),

let's just.......I don't know, move on and let the boy have a beer drinking, hate filled tirad about how he's better than us....or other people...or whatever he wants to talk about

and eveneutlly,

He'll get the point that hate and volience (be mental, emotional, or pshyical) will never silence all the joyouis silibant S speakers of the world.

 

[blackbeltninja]

He'll get the point that hate and volience (be mental, emotional, or pshyical) will never silence all the joyouis silibant S speakers of the world.

All Surfboy is REALLY saying is this, and I will put it in a nutshell for anyone who cannot parlez/sprechen/habla plain, simple English:

"If you don't have a lisp, please don't put on a lisp." It's really not rocket science, people.

As Vermilion noted in #74 above, I'm not sure anyone appreciates the pop psychology spouted by some of our JUBbers out there, either.

-d-

 

[Swellegant]

Oh, honey, you simply stepped on a lot of raw nerves with your original statement. See, those of us for whom lisping and sibillance come naturally, inspired by either our biology or our psychology, have been taking shit about it for a long time, and we've gotten pretty goddamned sick of it. We're a little sensitive about it, as I'm sure you can understand; and any statement that seems to threaten us will be met with indignation.

Nothing any of us ever says stands completely alone. You have a certain reputation for antigay sentiments that you've carried around from thread to thread; many of us have read other threads you've started or posted on remember those other statements. Everything you write down will be taken in the context of those previous statements. And taken in the context of those previous statements, this statement sounds antigay. This is why people are jumping all over you in cleats.

And really, I don't know anybody who speaks in a certain way "on purpose," unless they're acting a role onstage. When people talk, I assume it's because that's the way they talk naturally. All speech patterns develop either by listening and imitating or by becoming habitual through usage. Unless I know for a fact that they're speaking unnaturally, and to know that I'd have to know the person intimately enough to be aware of his or her "natural" speaking patterns, I can't imagine being irritated by it. Therefore I cannot imagine where you are coming from and cannot sympathize with your statement.

Final thought: you can't control other people's behavior, but being irritated by other people's behavior is something that you can control. I know lots of things irritate me if I let them (especially other people's driving habits and grammar); but if I do let them, all that happens is that I become angry and irritated and unhappy... the other person doesn't even know I'm even there, much less irritated or angry or unhappy.

So basically I'm fucking myself with my own negative energy. If, on the other hand, I can train myself to merely accept the foibles and oddities of other people (patience is like a muscle, it must be exercised), if I can learn to ignore what I don't like and focus instead on what I do like, I am a happier person.

And I want that happiness for you, SurfBoy18. Judging from other things I've read from you, you sound conflicted and unhappy, and that saddens me... so in my eternal auntlike manner, I am trying to show you the errors I perceive in your statements so that you might learn something of value to yourself. I'm not just being a bitch for the fun of it.

 

[ladygrey]

^

Excatly.

This what I was saying as well. Although, apperntly it seems to fall under the label of pop psychologly.


However,

I will say this:

How can anyone judge whether or not some one has a lisp naturally or not?

And why are they so concered with other people?

I mean, sure you have all of these vaugely justified reason, which in your mind, seem to make sense for why you don't like it,

but

BUT

BUT

Why do you seem to care so much?

I mean, gosh darn golly, live and let live.

Sheesh.

And as for our reaction to your posting,

Perhaps it's time to admit that it was in bad taste and that we, lisp or otherwise, are firmly allowed to express our distain for such comments.

But Robert Marlene explains all of this much more clearly than I do.

 

[Soilwork]

"If you don't have a lisp, please don't put on a lisp." It's really not rocket science, people.

What he's actually saying is "I hate gay people who aren't miserable fucks such as myself, and any of them who don't cower in the closet like I want them to deserve to be beaten down, and I'm just the guy to do it.

He's always spouting his self-defeating anti-gay attitudes all over this forum, and he's finally started his own personal Stonewall riot where the big mean homophobe pushes the little feminine faggots just a little to hard and then can't take it when they push back.

I too at one time in my life was a bit of a homophobic loser and it did me well when I thought my posturing was impressing anyone to get beaten back.

He deserves this, and it would do you well to maybe listen to a bit of it yourself.

sssso there, Honey.

 

[eberg]

You all make me ashamed to be a member of this forum. Honestly.

There most definitely are self-hating homos out there. I don't think that SurfBoy is one of them.

The problem is: you all look for a fight just to say you were in one.

Bringing up Stonewall?? ARE YOU KIDDING?? Get a life, and 3 decades of existence.

The other problem with people on this board is selective hearing (reading). You only see what you want to see. And of course you're ALWAYS right. How could a gay person be wrong? Ever! We know everything!

The final problem, pretending like we actually know each other, and know what we are all "really thinking/meaning". Maybe a few of you know each other in the real world, but the majority of us have never met, and never will. And since emotion, sarcasm, irony, tone, and intention are almost impossible to express over the internet, it's pretty hard to get a grasp on our personalities.

The funny thing is, I'll probably get flamed for this, so why even bother trying to express an opinion anymore? And isn't it funny that the word for: Jumping down someone's throat online for no fucking reason is "FLAMING"???? Wonder where they came up with it.

Peace out, bitches.

 

[eberg]

I knew you'd be the first to respond, so glad you did.

I did not flame because I didn't quote anyone or bring up any names. Just making some general observations. But I'm so glad you took notice. I wouldn't expect anything less.

But like I said, emotion, sarcasm, irony, tone and intention can never be properly expressed online.

 

[Soilwork]

There most definitely are self-hating homos out there. I don't think that SurfBoy is one of them.

Yes... because well adjusted gay people say things like...

I actually fight against gay marriages, gay adoption, and stuff like that. Im all for traditional families and old fashioned lifestyles... If you want to be gay, great.....just be gay behind closed doors like the rest of us. Exposing your alternative lifestyle to children or forcing it upon others is just not right.

sorry, but if you look up "Self-hating Homo" in the dictionary...

 

[eberg]

My Bad.... I don't have time to check up on everyone's past.... kind of busy.

But the rest of my post stands.

Same boat, ya know?

 

[Soilwork]

My Bad.... I don't have time to check up on everyone's past.... kind of busy.

But the rest of my post stands.

Same boat, ya know?

um... no, I dont.

you mean you don't think that the rest of us should stand up against a homophobe who tries to tell people how to act and live their lives?

cuz this relatively well-adjusted homo just ain't willing to do that.

 

[eberg]

No, I don't think we should pick fights in cyberspace against people who are obviously set in their ways and can't be changed. It's not worth it. Move on.

 

[eberg]

Call me passive. I don't care. I'm a happy, centered person, and stuff like this just doesn't bother me. Why let other people's sad ignorance ruin your day?

I'm off to lunch, so I won't be replying to this for quite some time....

 

[Soilwork]

Man, I wish I was happy to just let people push me around like the wind with a plastic bag... that whole "I'm so live and let live that I even let those live who are AGAINST living and letting live" (read that three times it really does make sense)

Alas, I was raised by a mother who forced me to stand up for myself and for others I thought needed some standing up for.

 

[ladygrey]

^
LOL

I love when other's theoritical arguements fall apart before their eyes and they run off the forum crying.

That said,

I get what ya'll are saying about "overreaction" etc....

but maybe you've been fortunate enough in your life to have never been the experincor of abuse or violence based on how you sound or how you act?

Maybe you've always been able to "blend", so have never have to deal with the reality of haterd in your life.

So if we, who have dealt with it every day for most of our lives,

"overreact", please consider that it comes from a place of understanding how damaging your inadvertanet prejuice is.

Also, I've been hit by many males in my life because of varouis things about my person that they didn't like,

and the thought of a person expressing the desire to repeat the action again simply becaue of my lisp

is sickening.

and you're right, we don't know each other...

and things are hard to translate,

but there's no funny way to talk about phsyicaly harming another person because of a phsyical charteristic.

and also,

it's because we don't know each other that he was allowed to express that view. If we were in a room together, he'd be sulking in a corner watching baseball while the rest of us are having a ball twirling around the room in beauitful fuzzy dresses.....

or doing whatever we want to,

but the point is:

even in cyberspace, certain things are very clearly self evidant

 

[justsimon]

I find myself agreeing with Soilwork more and more these days...