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H. M. S. J U B

Re: H. M. S. Jub

The_Reaper said:
Nope, no realtion...


Hmmm...On second thought...

Let's swing the ship over to Tahiti, and then make a quick stop in some european countries to pick up some more JUBers..

Sausageeater! You have the helm!
Click to expand...
I hope the captain gets up soon...I just wanted to enjoy a nice adventurous vacation!Set course for continental Europe first,then American and Canadian ports....then we all head SSW for Tahiti and the Pacific!Good god,what have I gotten myself into?:help:
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

I hear talk of mutiny in those comments!

50 lashes!


Oh, and Bubba the resident engine stoker get's to put his stoker in your engine...

Wait a tick...This is a gay cruise, that's not really punishment...

Oh well, I stand by it.

In fact, Bubba is now stoking the entire staff!

Hmmm...I shouldn't have had 12 Long Island Iced Teas before coming aboard...
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

Bubba's been the high point of the cruise so far!:D
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

Good...Well, we needed at least one good seaman on board...

Where's SteveNavy when you need him?
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

The heck is this....

I relinquish my command...Now show me to the pool of hot guys!
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

Oh, my last act as Captain:

No thongs aboard this vessle!

There, now I'm done...


Hmmm...I need to appoint a new Captain...

Sausageeater, you're next on the totem pole, enjoy!
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

Why does the name "Titanic" keep flashing in my mind??????:eek:
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

No it isn't!

Clearly says J.U.B.

(Notices how Titanic is X'd out with JUB written over it)

Wait a tick!
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

*looks closely*.......... oh, I see, the "T" has a loop at the bottom, making it a "J", another loop connecting the "i & t" making a "U", a crossed out "a", a loop at the bottom and a little "D" on top of the "n" making it a "B", and the "ic" crossed out........................OH SHIT WHERE ARE THE LIFE RAFTS!!!!!!!! *mutters* gotta git one before the women & children! oh wait, it's a gay cruise, gotta beat the queens
*is prolly gonna get shit for that one* :gogirl:
now...where did i put my thong. #-o


(God, I made mySELF puke with that image!)
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

There aren't enough lifeboats by half!
She cried as she ran down the deck, her hair all asunder and her nightgown undone
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

It does not look safe enough for me, and it also seems this will not be a drama-free zone.
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

sausageeater said:
A private cabin is preferable,but if I must share quarters with anyone.....nothing untoward without mutual consent.I am a gentleman,after all!
Click to expand...

I can attest to that. SE and I shared a room at the Holiday Inn Capital in DC and he was a perfect gentleman and a great guy to cruise around Washington with.
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

So, who's the Queen of the Captain's Navy.....erm... I mean Captain of the Queen's Navy? I must compliment him on the gym facilities. I had a workout this morning with my personal trainer and am pleased to report that the swimming pool isn't the only Olympic sized facility on board!!! I was pooped before I got anywhere near the Poop Deck - although that could have been the rough seas I think, as I couldn't seem to walk in a straight line down the corridor, which is strange because I normally have pretty good seaman legs!
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

* wakes up, stretches, yawns *

My, but the ship has changed since I fell asleep by the Olympic sized pool!

Hey -- who made the name read "JUBtanic"?!!

Nice to see you all here, gentlemen!

I'm pleased to announce that the HMS (Hot Men's Ship) JUB has three galleys. One serves breakfast all day, another serves lunch all day, and the other serves dinner.

There's also the "Suh-MOKE Inn!" Pub behind the stern stack.

Quasar, thanks for finding the gym facilities! I was hoping there were some here. Did you see the climbing wall above the diving pool? If you fall... SPLASH!


Now, some ship rules:

Politics, religion, and the merits of cricket vs. baseball may be discussed, but every statement has to be a joke. If we decide it isn't funny, you get thrown overboard and the ship will circle you until you cry out, "Mommy, I didn't mean it!"

No [STRIKE]fucking[/STRIKE] running on deck -- if you trip and fall overboard, we might not see you. Running in the hallways is fine. No running in the bars, unless you can run and dance at the same time.

The Suh-MOKE INN! Pub has a "Naked Happy Hour every odd-numbered day. All drinks are $2.00 if you want to wear a hat or bandana, $1.00 if you're totally naked, and a dime if you have a hard-on.

We swab the decks once a week, with marguerita-flavored non-toxic soap. Swabbing each other is permitted only if it's sunny.


Now... breakfast. I think the breakfast galley is behind Engineering....
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

When do we eat on this ship, I am getting hungry?
 
Re: H. M. S. Jub

There's a breakfast galley, a lunch galley, and a dinner galley, all open 24/7.

Tonight we're grilling steaks on the foredeck, if you want to join. We poured charcoal down those big guns and got them nice and hot!
Ever seen a steak sizzle on a really big naval weapon? :lol:
 
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