Had to lie to my mom

[CoolguyAT]

So both of my parents are divorced, about 2 and a half years now, and I feel like I have to lie to my Mom about something.

See, my parents had this agreement when they divorced that they couldn't have a member of the opposite sex sleep in the same house with them while my sister (who is a minor) was there also unless it is a family member (such as cousin, uncle, grandparents). So basically, my Dad's girlfriend is not allowed to spend the night with him when my sister is in the same house.

Tomorrow, we are all going to the beach and my Dad's girlfriend is going and staying at the same house with us, I was speaking with my Mom this evening about possibly moving to Houston (see my "Considering moving to Houston" thread if you are interested in that). When I mentioned that I was going to the beach she said "Is Brenda going? Because you know if she does go she can't spend the night there if your sister is going". I brushed it off and told her I didn't know if she was going. Now I feel bad because I lied to my Mom but at the same time I don't want to get in the middle of my Dad and Mom's arguments and cause trouble. If it is part of their agreement my Dad is technically breaking it.....any advice on what to do guys?

 

[Ram]

Meh, it's one white lie. Plus, if Brenda sleeps over, how the hell is it suppose to affect you and your sister?

Our life isn't anything like a Nickelodeon show where people don't tell white lies and if they do, it becomes a 2 hour special where one of the main characters dies because of it. Sometimes, when it's not that big of a deal, we just say we don't know.

Or confront your dad and say that he will be fully responsible if your mom finds out.

 

[Elwood]

This is between your mom and dad. If she asks again tell her to ask your father. Do not get involved.

 

[CoolguyAT]

Thanks guys, I do agree it is a silly rule but they both agreed when they divorced. I think they both don't like the idea of each other's boyfriend or girlfriend sleeping over when my sister is around but when it comes to their boyfriend/girlfriend they look away.

I'd like to just brush it aside but I guess i'm just concerned that one day my sister or I will slip up. I told my sister my concerns and she basically just said "Don't worry about it and then shut the door in my face".

 

[edale54115]

M. Y. O. B.

 

[CGHJ]

They're divorced...she no longer has the right to make rules about who Pops sleeps with, when, or where.

Although I do think we have a clue about why they got divorced, yes?

 

[CoolguyAT]

M. Y. O. B.

I have to be honest, I have no idea what this means....LOL.

 

[CoolguyAT]

They're divorced...she no longer has the right to make rules about who Pops sleeps with, when, or where.

Although I do think we have a clue about why they got divorced, yes?

I agree with you to an extent.....as for why they got divorced, well they pretty much couldn't stand each other, as far as I know neither of them had extra-marital affairs.

 

[josher]

MYOB means Mind Your Own Business.

 

[CoolguyAT]

^^Mind Your Own Business.

LOL....thanks for clearing that up!

 

[GL]

as others have already said this is a matter between your mother & father.

had you said anything to your mother you would have in effect chosen a side.

you are/were better off leaving this one alone.

 

[propserity]

Sounds to me that it may be part of the divorce or child custody decree... he may lose any visitation rights, etc., if he does has someone sleep over when your sister is there.

Not really giving any advice, just an observation.

 

[Beachguyj]

See, my parents had this agreement when they divorced that they couldn't have a member of the opposite sex sleep in the same house with them while my sister (who is a minor) was there

Tell your father to get a boyfriend.

 

[Beachguyj]

Seems like your sister will have to lie to her afterwards too.

 

[Puzuzzu]

don't feel bad man, honestly, it was a while lie to evade a problem. Let her talk to him

 

[bripatrick]

From your post, it sounds like your mom is looking for an excuse to get mad at your dad and is perhaps being a bit spiteful by asking you if his girlfriend is going and chiming in that she isn't "allowed to stay over."

Now, I'm not sure how old your sister is, so it can go one of two ways: either she's too young to really understand sexuality and your dad and his girlfriend sleeping in the same room will not even register in her head, or she is old enough and realizes that her parents are seeing other people. It sounds like you have at least some kind of established relationship with your dad's girlfriend since your mom referred to her by name; if it was just some random hookup I'm sure this would be a different story.

Believe me, I've been in the middle of divorced parents. It's best to try to remain as neutral as you can, unless you truly feel one parent isn't acting the way they should. I think a grown man with a steady girlfriend who has met and been around his kids should be welcome to stay in the home when they're there. I think that rule was meant to apply to boyfriends/girlfriends who haven't been in your parents' lives for long so that your sister is protected from maybe getting attached or seeing a parade of partners go in and out of the house.