Hanging Out With Friend's Ex-B/F?

[castoono]

THE NAKED FACTS
January 2

One of my best friends ('Billy') and I have been friends for quite some time now. I consider him to be the little brother I never had.
[...] and our other friends (who don't really like Billy).
[...] if I were in Billy's shoes (which would be really hard, to be completely honest, Billy is a bit of a prick)

April 13

Well, I decided to go ahead and be friends with Jack. Billy was fine with it.
[...] I introduced Jack to one of my other friends Steven. [...]
At this point, Steven had yet to meet Jack so I introduced them over Skype [...]
In planning the trip (for my birthday), I invited Steven, Jack, Billy and a few other friends.
[...] I felt that it would be unfair to invite Jack without inviting Billy.
[...] tell Billy about my feelings
[...] (and Steven's feelings) for Jack.
[...] I told Billy not to say anything about it .

This should have been the first line:

One of my best friends ('Billy') to be completely honest, is a bit of a prick)

You already know... you always knew this was about to happen. I think you own it and you do it damn well. You are Pedro Almodovar!!! And you surely have great times with your friends. You never get bored do you? I don't have any advice cause you got a great intuition. You only have to follow it, it's giving clues to you constantly

 

[chance1]

Heavy on the drama quotient

Billy seems like a bum

Is my only definitive takeaway

U could use some chill friends

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

I'm surprised by the lack of loyalty expressed in these replies. If I broke up with someone I wouldn't expect any of my friends to pick him up as a friend. Go for it if you're ready to drop Billy. If not, you need a discussion with Billy. Keep in mind that exes do get back together.

You win at life. I could not have said it better, and you foresaw what actually did happen in your last sentence. If any of my friends were to hang out with my exes, they might as well have gained a new friend and lost one. In fact something like that did happen within my group of friends (not me), and it got pretty bad. Loyal friends always come through...

In the case of the OP, I feel like none of you were loyal enough for each. Probably best you all find new, better friends. Preferably mature ones at that!

 

[Ninja108]

IMO, unless the breakup involved abuse or cheating, I will not end a friendship or cease talking to someone because he/she break up with someone else.
On the same note, I will NOT allow myself to be used to get dragged into their drama.

 

[altlover85]

IMO, unless the breakup involved abuse or cheating, I will not end a friendship or cease talking to someone because he/she break up with someone else.
On the same note, I will NOT allow myself to be used to get dragged into their drama.

I agree. It depends on how the breakup went as to whether or not hanging out with a friend's ex bf is okay or not.

 

[Seasoned]

^Only if you're willing to lose the original friend in favor of the ex. If it's cool with the friend then great. Not cool if this is done behind the friend's back and you want to get into the ex's pants.

 

[altlover85]

^Only if you're willing to lose the original friend in favor of the ex. If it's cool with the friend then great. Not cool if this is done behind the friend's back and you want to get into the ex's pants.

Why would someone be petty about something like that assuming the breakup was at the very least amicable?

The second scenario is very different.

 

[FunFunk]

IMO, unless the breakup involved abuse or cheating, I will not end a friendship or cease talking to someone because he/she break up with someone else.
On the same note, I will NOT allow myself to be used to get dragged into their drama.

I agree with this point of view. People should feel free to make friends with whomever they wish, including exes of their existing friends. I just wouldn't want to be friends with an ex who hurt my existing friend in some way. That really would be true insult to my friend (besides the fact that such exes are likely to show the same disregard for me as they did my friend).

It appears the main thing the OP needs to do is expand his circle of friends (or replace the ones he has).

 

[matt1980111]

It's been a little over two weeks since the drama happened and I feel a lot better. I still don't know exactly everything that happened but at this point it really doesn't matter.

Since that weekend, I have talked to both Billy and Jack on seperate occasions. Billy's still insisiting that he did nothing intentional to hurt me but I'm still not buying it.

I was really set on trying hard to keep our friendships in tact. But mostly everyone I know (and everyone in this thread) has said that I just need to leave Billy and Jack alone. But we've shared 5 or 6 awesome years together. And it's hard for me to imagine just cutting someone out of my life that I consider family. So, it's taken me some time to figure out where do I go from here.

Well, Steven and I will still be friends. We talk every day actually. We kinda helped each other get over this drama.

As far as Jack and Billy go, I'm not going to cut them out of my life. I just can't. But I now have an accurate picture of who they really are. And I'll use that in my relationship with them.

We'll hang out every once in awhile. We're laugh. We'll joke. But I know that I can never depend on them (especially Billy).

Am I still a little bitter? I'll be the first to admit that yes, I'm still a little bitter. What happened hurt (and as much as I don't want to admit it, it still hurts) and it's gonne take a little more time to get over it. But like everything else in life, I'll get over it. I'm not going to let it control my life like I have.

I learned a lot from this entire situation. I spent a lot of time re-evaluating myself and I discovered some things that I did not like and some other things that I am learning to love. In many ways, it's been a blessing in disguise.