You sound reluctant to enter into this open relationship. True, you understand where he's coming from, but it seems like you're only doing it because you love him and you're trying to give him what he needs in hopes that he'll get through it and be pleased enough to come back to you.
And that reluctance and appeasement shows me that you are not equally invested in an open relationship, which means that right now, the investment you two have in each other is not the same. He's in a position where "you'll always have his heart" but not his body or sole affection. You're in a position where he'll always have your heart and will be the only one you love.
Being "too young" is relative. Some guys are ready to settle down in a committed monogamous relationship, and some aren't. There's no definite age, and the fact that he says that he thinks he might be too young and you don't feel that way says to me that you're also on a different wavelength. You're in need of someone who's ready, too. He's, quite frankly, not.
So I'll be straight with you, and this is what I think: I think it's over. I think you two need to actually break up, because I think you deserve someone who wants the same things you do and he deserves someone who wants the same things he does. He wants to fuck around carefree, and you want to be committed to someone who is committed to you. Right now, you're allowing him to have what he wants, but is he reciprocating what it is you truly want--a boyfriend who loves only you and who only wants to pay his sexual and romantic attention to you? No. And it's impossible for him to do that.
The two of you cannot both get what you want from a committed relationship or an open relationship, one of you is going to have to settle with what you don't want. It sounds like he doesn't want a committed relationship, and it sounds like you don't want a partner in an open relationship.
So sit him down. Tell him what it is you want and why you want it and ask him to be honest with you (because you deserve that) and tell you what it is he wants. My guess is that if he's honest, he'll tell you that deep down, he wants to be free to have lots of sex with different people and experience a ton of different relationships. if that's the case, it's unfair for him to be onligated into monogamy and it's unfair for him to keep you hanging on and devoted to him while he goes and fucks around.
You may have to actually break up and let him fuck around while you look for someone else. And maybe if one day you're not involved and he's tired of all his fun, you guys can try again when you're both on the same page. But right now, I think what he's doing is unfair to you and how you feel about him.
The point is, you may love him, but don't settle. The two of you have to want the same kind of relationship and it looks like what he wants is not what you want at all.
And that reluctance and appeasement shows me that you are not equally invested in an open relationship, which means that right now, the investment you two have in each other is not the same. He's in a position where "you'll always have his heart" but not his body or sole affection. You're in a position where he'll always have your heart and will be the only one you love.
Being "too young" is relative. Some guys are ready to settle down in a committed monogamous relationship, and some aren't. There's no definite age, and the fact that he says that he thinks he might be too young and you don't feel that way says to me that you're also on a different wavelength. You're in need of someone who's ready, too. He's, quite frankly, not.
So I'll be straight with you, and this is what I think: I think it's over. I think you two need to actually break up, because I think you deserve someone who wants the same things you do and he deserves someone who wants the same things he does. He wants to fuck around carefree, and you want to be committed to someone who is committed to you. Right now, you're allowing him to have what he wants, but is he reciprocating what it is you truly want--a boyfriend who loves only you and who only wants to pay his sexual and romantic attention to you? No. And it's impossible for him to do that.
The two of you cannot both get what you want from a committed relationship or an open relationship, one of you is going to have to settle with what you don't want. It sounds like he doesn't want a committed relationship, and it sounds like you don't want a partner in an open relationship.
So sit him down. Tell him what it is you want and why you want it and ask him to be honest with you (because you deserve that) and tell you what it is he wants. My guess is that if he's honest, he'll tell you that deep down, he wants to be free to have lots of sex with different people and experience a ton of different relationships. if that's the case, it's unfair for him to be onligated into monogamy and it's unfair for him to keep you hanging on and devoted to him while he goes and fucks around.
You may have to actually break up and let him fuck around while you look for someone else. And maybe if one day you're not involved and he's tired of all his fun, you guys can try again when you're both on the same page. But right now, I think what he's doing is unfair to you and how you feel about him.
The point is, you may love him, but don't settle. The two of you have to want the same kind of relationship and it looks like what he wants is not what you want at all.
As I sit here, I cannot help to think how much bullshit was shoveled into that answer.
