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Harmless or Not Harmless

C

cam2011

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Me and my partner have been together 11 years. Recently he has been texting nude pics and emailing pics. When i asked about all i was told is that it was just talk and harmless. This all is being done without me knowing secretly. We do not have a open relationship or anything like that. Now give me your opinion, Is it harmless or not? Is this right or wrong doing this when in a committed relationship?
 
My guess is that it is harmless...

And that he is just goofing around with technology that wasn't available back when you guys met...

However, if it bothers you, you should talk to him about it...

Congrats on the 11 years!!! ..|

:):):)
 
So is this just to tease another guy? Are guys sending him pics? What sites is he using to find guys? How did you discover this? Do you think he's hooking up or on that road?

I think it's taking a chance from a cell phone because the sender is identifiable. But, then again, I'm old and don't do it. It seems risky in that there's no way to know if the pictures have been forwarded.

All the techno and techno/sexual stuff can be addicting. The big question is how has his new pasttime affected him and his relationship with you?
 
cam2011 said:
Me and my partner have been together 11 years. Recently he has been texting nude pics and emailing pics. When i asked about all i was told is that it was just talk and harmless. This all is being done without me knowing secretly. We do not have a open relationship or anything like that. Now give me your opinion, Is it harmless or not? Is this right or wrong doing this when in a committed relationship?
Click to expand...

Is he generally flirty?
 
I would be bothered if I were in your shoes. While he may have no intention of doing more than sending naked pics - he is doing this behind your back. For something like this to be ok it needs to be discussed before it begins. How did you find out he was doing this?
 
I was in your shoes about a year ago. It may start off as harmless, but I caution you to be careful. I know that 11 years is a long time and I think its awesome y'all have been together that long, just becareful.
 
Putting myself into your shoes and then into his, answer is the same: I think he is cheating on you imho
 
I think it moves from harmless to harmful if it bothers you, you've discussed it and he doesn't stop.

I don't think you need to ask others if its harmful. If it bothers you it bothers you, and it obviously does.
 
If he sends a nude pic to the wrong person, he could be in serious trouble. We just had that in the news here not long ago, someone thinking they were talking to an adult, but it wasn't.

If it were me, I'd want to have a talk and decide if we were still in the same place or if something had changed. I'd want to get it out in the open before someone really gets hurt.
 
techie70 said:
I would be bothered if I were in your shoes. While he may have no intention of doing more than sending naked pics - he is doing this behind your back. For something like this to be ok it needs to be discussed before it begins. How did you find out he was doing this?
Click to expand...

Seen emails and pics on phone
 
He also had profiles on gay hook up websites. He did delete those and i put one as a couple. He rarely got on and never contacted anyone. But when it was just him he was on and made several contacts. My question to him was Why can you do it alone and not with me involved? Never got an answer.
 
That's cheating. Cheating is not only about the physical contact. He's teasing other men, letting them see him naked and saying who knows what to them...behind your back. I wouldn't be ok with it, you guys should talk about it.
 
I hate to say something because I've never been in a relationship. With that said, I think the key is open communication between you and your partner. Having a good honest talk between you may help you both discover things in your relationship. It certainly can't hurt anything and it may resolve the issues you are having.

Good luck!
 
He was tempted to cheat on you. This is not harmless fun. He may not actually have gone through it. But he definitely had the intention to cheat on you with his lone profiles on a few hookup sites. This is a huge red flag.
 
soreknees said:
So is this just to tease another guy? Are guys sending him pics? What sites is he using to find guys? How did you discover this? Do you think he's hooking up or on that road?

I think it's taking a chance from a cell phone because the sender is identifiable. But, then again, I'm old and don't do it. It seems risky in that there's no way to know if the pictures have been forwarded.

All the techno and techno/sexual stuff can be addicting. The big question is how has his new pasttime affected him and his relationship with you?
Click to expand...

Yes he is recieving pics also, was on manhunt and A4A
 
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