Has anyone here had a Tight Frenulum?

[fed1983]

My boyfriend has a tight frenulum, therefore he can't pull his foreskin back, otherwise it hurts him.

He knows that he needs to go to the doctor to fix it, but he's been procrastinating the decision. Truth is that he also needed to go to the doctor for other issues, so I think he's been quite stressed with doctors lately.

But the main reason for his procrastination is fear (that's my assumption), especially fear of pain. He knows that a few days after the operation, he could feel some pains in his cock while everything is healing.

It's a shame because I know that deeply inside him, he wants to start using his cock, even though he's not a terribly sexual guy, he enjoys having sex with me. Now he can only bottom. I can't even suck his cock properly, cos if I accidentally pull his foreskin, it hurts him.

I don't want to put too much pressure on him, but I do hope that he gets rid of that problem asap, for his own good. This is not a problem in our relationship, we get on beautifully, but I think it's a limitation in our sexual life, and it's probably a frustration for him.

So now the question is, has anyone here gone through this? I would like to get info first hand so then I'll be able to help him better.

Thanks!!

 

[Corny]

the pain after the surgery is minimal compared to the pain that he will have if he one day rips his frenulum.

 

[sexualdemon]

I have the same problem but i think mine just might be tight foreskin. i just havent pulled it all the way back yet.

good luck with it though.

 

[wraithsa]

from a clinical perspective a non retractable foreskin is called a phimosis - we try divide the condition into 2 - physiological so basically normal and pathological or due to something that went wrong. Although all uncut guys are non tractable at birth by 17yrs of age almost all uncut guys can retract it. The options for treatment include
non surgical stretching and the use of steroid creams as well as several operations namely circumcision , a dorsal slit and purputioplasy. Ultimately it is his choice and he does have some options.

I had a frenulectomy done over a yr ago cause ive been partialy tongue tied since birth and the procedure is somewhat similar - it aint that bad

f

 

[KaraBulut]

You're not pressuring him. It's something that is limiting to both of you and Corny's correct- surgical correction of frenulum breve is much less painful (and less bloody) than accidentally ripping it during sex.

Frenulum breve repair is not nearly as extensive as a circumcision. While everyone has a different tolerance for pain, this procedure is not as bad as he is afraid it will be.

Talk to him. Tell him why it's important for both of you. Make the appointment. Go with him for moral support.

 

[kevin23]

http://www.voy.com/190293/23.html

http://www.male-initiation.net/library/gallery/frenuloplasty/frenulum_tying.html

A do it yourself guide or maybe a friend who is a paramedic with fire are rescue.

 

[kevin23]

The second link may not show pics in google, switch to Bing search engine

 

[fed1983]

Can I just commend you for coming here and looking for advice on how to help him instead of looking for advice on how to dump him.

I think he just needs some moral support. Offer to go with him and be his candy stripper during the healing process. Of course, it would probably be terrible if he got hard too soon after any possible surgery, so maybe keep your clothes on, but still... make it sexy. It might work.

Hehe, that was cute.

Thanks for the advice so far. I'm gonna talk to him as soon as I have the chance. Even though I already offered my support and told him I'd go with him to the doctor, so now you see it's not going to be easy to get him moving. But the idea that an accidental rip could hurt more than the operation might be useful as a logical reason for me to urge him into this. Besides, he knows he has to go through this sooner or later

 

[paatreides]

Can/does he ejaculate? If not, it is a long-term health consideration as well...

Look, I know we guys are always afraid to see a doctor when it involves our cocks or balls - but honestly, the doctors are quite, quite familiar with issues and (especially) when it comes to painful sexual activity we should heed out bodies warnings and seek medical attention.

What wraithsa should have added to his post is: This condition can worsen over time and the difficulty he has now will seem minor and the pain he feels now in retracting his foreskin will increase.

I hope you manage to convince him to get this taken care of.

 

[fed1983]

Can/does he ejaculate? If not, it is a long-term health consideration as well...

Yes he can, but it's quite hard actually, since you cannot stimulate him fully. I can suck his cock for instance, but without pulling his foreskin back, so the pleasure felt is not as great. But there were a couple of times when I was topping him and stroking his cock (again, without pulling the foreskin back) that he managed to cum, but maybe it's only half of the times we had sex. So making him cum is quite difficult (but it's not my obsession anyway)

 

[CoolguyAT]

For the past several years I have thought that maybe I just have phimosis but after thinking about it and some more research I think I may indeed have a tight frenulum as well. In looking at pics of other pensises with this condition it looks very similar to mine. I think i'll pay a visit to a Urologist once my Health Insurance kicks in.

It's not necessarily painful and never really bothered me until the past year and a half. It's just irritating and is becoming harder to pull back when i'm soft. And like fed1983 mentioned about his boyfriend, I to am finding that sexual activity is starting to not be as pleasurable.

 

[paatreides]

...So making him cum is quite difficult (but it's not my obsession anyway)

I understand it is not your obsession to make him come. But it is a long-term health issue. Men who ejaculate at least two or three times per week lower thier risk of prosate cancer.

His level of stimulation is a factor in the inability to come. If that is lowering his enjoyment of sex it should be corrected. He might find that, once the problem is corrected, his level of sensation heighten his pleasure.

I would try to find out what his reservations are in going to get this checked out and finding out what options are available to him. A complete circumcision may not be necessary to correct the problem. There are options and he should know what they are. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

 

[Nomenclature]

the pain after the surgery is minimal compared to the pain that he will have if he one day rips his frenulum.

Just to give you an idea:


I once pulled my frenulum about a millimeter further than it could naturally go, and I was in such sharp pain, I couldn't breathe, move or talk for about 20 seconds. It stretched out a bit since then, so now tugging on it gives me amazing orgasms instead. . .but damn, that sucked.


I imagine actually tearing it or cutting it is. . .*hughughghg*

 

[turnandburn]

So i have a question. I can pull my foreskin all the way back soft. but if im hard i can only pull it back about 2/3 of the way. Is that phimosis or is what im experiencing normal?

 

[Corny]

^ that sounds like phimosis but it also sounds as if your chances are good that you do not need a circumcision. ask a doctor about your options

 

[silverbelt]

I had the procedure done last year, and it was the best thing I ever did. I had procrastinated for ages, but finally got a referral for a urologist who agreed that surgery would be best. My problem wasn't even as bad as you're describing, but I couldn't retract very far at all. I think for the most part I had gotten used to the pain.

The procedure only took about 30 mins or so under full anaesthetic. With respect to pain afterwards, I was told not to touch myself at all until my followup in a week. I wasn't even supposed to shower for a few days, just keep the area undisturbed. I had to replace the dressing everyday too, after the second or third day.

To tell the truth, I was terrified of going near it. I didn't wanna see it, thought it'd be a bloody cut up mess. When I finally changed the dressing, I realised foreskin was a tad swollen and had some dry blood, nothing major. I had NO PAIN at all after the procedure. It was just uncomfortable to have thick gauze dressing in my undies for a week. I also took no painkillers.

I was given a steroid cream to help the foreskin stretch further, to be used from 1 month after, until I finished the tube.

The benefits are incredible. I'm definitely glad I did it.

 

[fed1983]

I had the procedure done last year, and it was the best thing I ever did. I had procrastinated for ages, but finally got a referral for a urologist who agreed that surgery would be best. My problem wasn't even as bad as you're describing, but I couldn't retract very far at all. I think for the most part I had gotten used to the pain.

The procedure only took about 30 mins or so under full anaesthetic. With respect to pain afterwards, I was told not to touch myself at all until my followup in a week. I wasn't even supposed to shower for a few days, just keep the area undisturbed. I had to replace the dressing everyday too, after the second or third day.

To tell the truth, I was terrified of going near it. I didn't wanna see it, thought it'd be a bloody cut up mess. When I finally changed the dressing, I realised foreskin was a tad swollen and had some dry blood, nothing major. I had NO PAIN at all after the procedure. It was just uncomfortable to have thick gauze dressing in my undies for a week. I also took no painkillers.

I was given a steroid cream to help the foreskin stretch further, to be used from 1 month after, until I finished the tube.

The benefits are incredible. I'm definitely glad I did it.

Thanks, I'll use your example to try convince him! Though we talked about it last week, basically it's procrastination. He just never gets to do it because of fear and etc. I understand him cos I did the same when I had to pull my wisdom teeth out...

Anyway, what you tell me it's worse than I expected, since I didn't know about the no-shower thing for a week Maybe it'll help me stay sexually away from him, not disturbing him at all in his healing process!

 

[Spiffy]

Ahhhh... You need to go ahead and comfort him. Tell him its for the best.

Idk i'm saying that because i believe thats what i have. I'm looking into options soon. It makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable having this condition. If i had someone who told me that they were going to be there for me when i did have it done i wouldn't hesitate really. Sadly I don't at the moment, but you know what thats life and i'm going to tread on by myself and hopefully get it done SOOOON.

hopefully the stretching/steriod option is available for me. If not *eek surgery lol

 

[fed1983]

Ahhhh... You need to go ahead and comfort him. Tell him its for the best.

Idk i'm saying that because i believe thats what i have. I'm looking into options soon. It makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable having this condition. If i had someone who told me that they were going to be there for me when i did have it done i wouldn't hesitate really. Sadly I don't at the moment, but you know what thats life and i'm going to tread on by myself and hopefully get it done SOOOON.

hopefully the stretching/steriod option is available for me. If not *eek surgery lol

Don't worry, surely everything will be for your own good Since you don't have anybody being there to support you, at least receive a cyber-support from us

 

[Spiffy]

Thanks and good luck with you and your boyfriends situation