Have hard time admitting that I am Bi sexual to myself they signs have been there I just thought my feels would go away.

[cashwyatt]

Disclaimer I write this on my phone so I spacing things out .

I always kind of knew I was at least BI sexual I just thought so what if a guy on the street make you excited sexually.

I guess it all started when I was a pre teen a few of us guys would give each other oral all the same age like around ten and I liked it.

Also around 10 or so I had a girl BFF and we do the same so I thought nothing of it not sure that normal or not foe kids that age .

I always kind noticed guys in a way like dam I want to sleep with him kind of thing. I gave I had sex with my cousin best friend at the time when we were like 18 or so .

I never really had a serious relationship with a woman but had a few FWB and hookups and short relationships.

A part of me kind of hold out hope I just date a woman and she come along and I will not feel like I disappoint to my family because I can't give them grandkids. I kind feel like I letting them down.

Oh my younger brother is gay but he a train wreck don't get me started he make Courtney love look like she has her stuff together. He a POS to be honest steals form people lives of people and basically homeless.

Any way I feel like I let them down because I do t have kids of my own at 38 it probably not going to happen sadly. If you want to know more ask other wise we be reading a book .

I have no issues hooking up with woman done it a few times and they have asked if I want to go home with them so I was down
Fast-forward to a few months ago I hooked up with a guy and we had sex it was great .

When I am hooking up I don't really think about is it a man or woman it just sex to me we using each to get off.

I never went on a date with a guy until last weekend and not sure how I feel I first I nervous then we started talking and we ended up making out at a park at night .

We are going to see each other this weekend we see how it goes.

Part of me is like what am I doing and the other part of me is ok let's get to know one an other more.
I am still in the closet because I don't feel the need to tell the world however I thing my parents all ready know because they say things like who ever you date is ok with us just want you to be happy . It's ok if your gay or straight we always love you I wanted to cry when they said that .

Deep down I know I not 100% straight I just can't seem to admit it to myself and be ok with it . I worry what the outside world thinks way too much.

One last thing I am on dating apps and didn't think I get an attention to be honest. I just wanted to go on a dated with gay men to see if there anything there because sex is great but wanted to see if there a romantic connection.

Ok I said Alot and advise would be helpful thanks.

 

[KaraBulut]

Disclaimer I write this on my phone so I spacing things out .

I always kind of knew I was at least BI sexual I just thought so what if a guy on the street make you excited sexually.

Welll....

Ok, so you've said the important part out loud (or at least written it out loud). "I always...knew I was at least BI sexual "

...I guess it all started when I was a pre teen a few of us guys would give each other oral all the same age like around ten and I liked it.

And probably most of those guys ended up getting married and living a pretty much straight lifestyle.

Experimentation in young guys happens. It doesn't always mean anything.

...I always kind noticed guys in a way like dam I want to sleep with him kind of thing. I gave I had sex with my cousin best friend at the time when we were like 18 or so.

And this is where it begins to move from "experimentation" to "trying to figure it out".

...Oh my younger brother is gay but he a train wreck...

But this thread isn't about your brother... it's about you.

...Any way I feel like I let them down because I do t have kids of my own at 38 it probably not going to happen sadly. If you want to know more ask other wise we be reading a book .

Stick in a pin in this one because gay neighborhoods are full of gay and lesbian couples with kids. It's all the rage.

If your dick works and you can find an egg somewhere, you can have kids.

...I have no issues hooking up with woman done it a few times and they have asked if I want to go home with them so I was down

You don't sound very enthusiastic about the experience.

Just because you went to a bar mitzvah, it doesn't mean you're Jewish.

...Fast-forward to a few months ago I hooked up with a guy and we had sex it was great .

When I am hooking up I don't really think about is it a man or woman it just sex to me we using each to get off.

So, this is where guys tend to get off track.

Guys, especially when they are young, can generally get their dick to rise to whatever occasion it needs to. Being gay isn't just about what is going on with your dick. It's much more about what is happening in your brain. From what you've written, your brain has an interest in guys, too. That's going to be significant in what happens from this point forward.

I never went on a date with a guy until last weekend and not sure how I feel I first I nervous then we started talking and we ended up making out at a park at night .

We are going to see each other this weekend we see how it goes.

Part of me is like what am I doing and the other part of me is ok let's get to know one an other more.
I am still in the closet because I don't feel the need to tell the world however I thing my parents all ready know because they say things like who ever you date is ok with us just want you to be happy . It's ok if your gay or straight we always love you I wanted to cry when they said that .

Deep down I know I not 100% straight I just can't seem to admit it to myself and be ok with it . I worry what the outside world thinks way too much.

Well, so we're moving through the checklist....
Had sex with a guy at age 18. Check.
Had sex with another guy and the sex was great. Check.
Went on a date with another guy and made out. Had a good time. Check.
Having a second date. Check.
Parents are okay with whatever happens with your orientation. Check.

...One last thing I am on dating apps and didn't think I get an attention to be honest. I just wanted to go on a dated with gay men to see if there anything there because sex is great but wanted to see if there a romantic connection.

Ok I said Alot and advise would be helpful thanks.

So, here's where things get real.

Honestly, the world will continue to spin around whether you're gay, straight, bisexual or whatever. It's really only a big thing to you.

At age 38, it's time for you to figure this out. Just like with the discussion about having children- you can't begin to move forward with any future plans until you decide whether those plans are going to be with a woman, a man or something in between.

It's time. Get out there and figure this out.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

 

[voltronforce]

For thousands of years being Bisexual was totally normal and accepted then about 1500 years ago things changed to homophobia and repression. Things are changing back.

 

[Doright]

I too have had a tough time admitting I am Bi. The feeling has been there for years and now I have come to terms with that feeling and there is nothing wrong with being bi-sexual, in fact it is wonderful!!

 

[bendted]

If you are bisexual, and you want kids (do you, or is it parental pressure?) why couldn't you just knock up a woman to have kids or just marry her with full disclosure? I'm being serious. I wish I could have done that but I'm too gay (lol) and could never pull it off, but it sure would have made my life easier to have a beard but with at least some semblance of a genuine relationship. Luckily my brother is the breeder in the family so there was never any pressure for me to spawn any offspring.

 

[justaguy]

I reckon the scenario you have outlined above has been repeated millions of times through the recent history of mankind, regardless of cultural background or ethnicity. It's very similar to my own experience, although I am gay not bi. All the best for the next part of your journey.

 

[LVpowerBTTM]

In my teens I felt bi and I had plenty of woman and experiment with men until 18 when I finally bottomed and I knew I was 100% bi because of how my body reacted and how turned on I was my very 1st time bottoming... didn't bottom again until 20. But had a girlfriend until I was 23. Thats when I got single and embraced it loved it and realized I was gay not buy. I am alot more attracted to me I am 100% a bottom and ì just wish I realized I was gay sooner lol

 

[Doright]

Oh I am definitely bi, I love women too. I just want to suck dick also. Haven’t tried top or bottom yet that time will come.

 

[KaraBulut]

This thread needs an update... what happened?

 

[Doright]

As you had said I too had the feelings but ignored them or didn’t know how to respond, but I eventually came to terms and embraced it.