Have you ever been in an abusive date/relationship?

[metta]

Have you ever been in an abusive date/relationship?

Dating violence affects 1 in 3 people. Straight, Gay and everybody in between.

http://hearmyvoice.breakthecycle.org/#is-this-abuse

 

[NineOfClubs]

No. I must have an awareness gene.

Everyone needs to be very careful and vigilant....

 

[Ninja108]

Between the breakup with my one bf and the relationship with my current one, I briefly saw one other guy.
I nipped things in the bud the minute he started calling me several times a day and acted jealous if I talked to other guys or hung out with friends.
Those aren't acts of love, those are acts of a control freak. And I was going to be damned if I was going to stay in a relationship like that.

 

[castoono]

Yes, I tend to fall in love for tough men OZ type, so later I can't ask for mercy.

 

[Beachguyj]

I have a friend that was in an abusive relationship for many years (before I met him) He felt trapped, and these guys know how to emotionally beat people down too. The few details that I have heard are bad and I feel bad to ask any questions about it.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Yes, but I deserved it.

 

[jackoroe]

Nope. I won't tolerate it.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

did you burn dinner?

Several times.

no. I'd like to think that I've seen enough after school specials, teen dramas, and Lifetime movies that I'd recognize the signs and remove myself from the situation.

I've seen numerous movies and shows on TV about becoming rich and/or famous, and I'm still dirt poor....

 

[Beachguyj]

Nope. I won't tolerate it.

Exactly. I can do bad on my own, I don't need someone else to bring it down. I wan't brought up around people like that so it's not acceptable.

 

[Beachguyj]

Sometimes these things are self-inflicted and sometimes not. Sometimes you can escape and sometimes not. I can testify to both. That is why true friends are such a blessing.

If you can't escape it's because you've gotten yourself too deep into a relationship that you knew was destructive.

 

[wastedtime]

Nicely simplified, Beachguy. But like many other aspects of life, not quite as simple as you proclaim it to be. A destructive relationship is not always self-evident UNTIL one is in too deep to escape. There are many reasons why people remain in these abusive situations, and it is not always by choice whether one recognizes the abuse or not. It often takes courage one does not have to escape, and raw fear is a terrible sword of Damocles.

I agree, and would also like to add that not only fear, but shame is a huge factor in getting out. Especially in situations of a male victim. Somehow it is assumed that a man should be smarter, and stronger never find themselves in this situation.

 

[Ninja108]

I agree, and would also like to add that not only fear, but shame is a huge factor in getting out. Especially in situations of a male victim. Somehow it is assumed that a man should be smarter, and stronger never find themselves in this situation.

Indeed, a lot of it is shame and a lot of it is fear. A person is in the most danger when he/she finally leaves an abusive relationship. That's when an abuser is most likely to lash out violently. The control they had is gone, and they'll do anything to get it back,even if it means killing them.

 

[justsimon]

My first serious relationship would probably qualify as emotionally abusive. She continues to try to make my life a living hell and now has her very own abusive partner.

 

[frankfrank]

No, I haven't been...

But, holy crap, back in the early 1980's my sister definitely was. She was married to somebody who had spent years in prison after murdering his first wife. He assaulted her occasionally...

It took a long time, but she finally got out of it, after coaxing from some of us, etc.

She was fortunate that, when the time came, she was able to get securely away from him by moving more than one thousand miles away...and he absolutely despised traveling so he didn't try to chase after her.

 

[GiacomoPisani]

no, coz i would kick his ass and break his head with a baseball bat hahahahaha, he would quickly know where it says danger if he puts one finger on me.

 

[eddielee]

Many years ago I had a boyfriend who was an alcoholic. He would get angry and tear up things or hit me.

 

[swerve]

No...

IF I didn't realize it and put an end to it...

I have 9 brothers and sisters that WOULD!!!




p.s. they all love opinterph!!!

 

[Mellored]

The bastards have to sleep don't they, didn't St Lorena Bobbit teach us anything?

 

[metta]

^
I think it is an issue that the gay community does not talk about but should.

In regards to myself, I have not dated very much and have never experienced it. However, I did have a [STRIKE]friend[/STRIKE] ex-friend that sexually attacked me once. He apologized and promised to never do it again but I just did not feel like I could continue the friendship. I have a history of writing people out of my life that treat me badly, even family members. I don't know if that is a bad thing or not. But I will say that the people that I choose to keep in my life, they are amazing wonderful people.

 

[The_Reaper]

Depends on how you define abusive.

I've never been in a relationship where I've been physically abused by a partner...Though I would argue that I was emotionally abused by my ex.

Effectively, he was just a controlling passive-aggressive person who made me feel bad if I spent time with anyone else but him, regardless of their orientation. For the year we dated, I rarely saw my best friend, because my ex pretty much wanted all of my free time for him and him alone.

And, if I did something out of line, he'd passive-aggressive me for awhile. Like going to see a movie we said we'd go to together with a friend of his instead; or calling a bunch of guys he used to sleep with over, when I couldn't. Whether or not anything happened when I wasn't there, I don't know and probably never will...

But looking back, it was a tough emotional ride.