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Have you ever fallen in love with an inanimate object?

yes...nonimus.

bender_allowed.gif
 
I was once mildly attracted to a staple gun, but we wanted different things from life.

I still think about him.
 
um sweetie...it's something i keep in my dresser next to the bed.

marvtha calls it the "terminator" because i can use it to no end.


I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT! (!) *|*
 
you are not inanimate RL - just 50!

happy birthday
 
I'm a shopaholic, I'm always falling in love with inanimate objects. My latest fling was with an Augarten Wien porcelain elephant... but I couldn't afford him, he dumped me for someone with more money ;)

So, anyway, this factory-worker goes to visit a psychiatrist.

"Doc, I have this terrible obsession! I work in a pickling plant, I screw the lids on the pickle-jars. It's a great job, good benefits, good hours, strong union. But for the last couple of months, every day at work, I get this overwhelming urge to put my dick in the pickle-slicer."

The psychiatrist diagnosed the man with self-destructive sexual trauma triggered by professional boredom and began a course of therapy with him. But after six months, the man admitted:

"This has been great, Doc, I've worked through all of my mother issues and I don't hate my father anymore and I feel really whole. But I still have the same problem I came in with: every single day, have this terrible urge to put my dick in the pickle-slicer!"

So the shrink steps up their program, they try hypnotherapy, medications, past-life regression, even proxy rebirth and drum-circles. But to no avail.

"I can't sleep at night, I can't concentrate at work, it's horrible! The urge to put my dick in the pickle-slicer gets worse and worse every day!"

The psychiatrist is really worried, and spends the whole week doing research and phoning colleagues, trying to find a clue of how to help this poor man. But at the next session:

"Doc, I feel great! I finally just went ahead and did it! Right in the middle of my shift yesterday, I just dropped trou and put my dick in the pickle-slicer, and I feel so much better."

"Oh my god, what happened?" the psychiatrist asked, aghast at this tale of self-mutilation.

"I got fired," the man said simply, still grinning.

"But what happened with the pickle-slicer?"

"Oh, he got fired, too."
 
RationalLunacy said:
Gee....thanks. !oops!

No, in fact I'm quite animated. Every time I flail my arms around and shout "Danger, Will Robinson!".
Click to expand...

now wait, that wasn't doctor smith, that was the robot .... wasn't it? It has been too long since I saw the movie
 
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