Have you ever just flat out asked a guy if he was curious about men?

[Rex]

Since most of the guys I'm attracted to aren't out and gay or bi, and since I don't know most out gay guys they are usually straight, or at least as far as I know.

I have been thinking of the posibility of just asking a certain guy "do you have a girlfriend" and then follow up with "have you ever been curious about guys?"

This guy isn't a good freind of mine so it's probably easier to ask him. Most likely I'll get a no but have you ever asked someone up front that you were attracted to and how did they respond? Did they ever surprise you?


This guy in particular hasn't given me any signs. He's just a hot guy and I would be curious to see how he'd react if I asked him that in private.


Discuss.

 

[sexsomniac]

Never. But I know someone who asked my friend, whether he had a friend curious enough to get fucked. Before then, I'd always thought this guy was straight as an arrow considering how many girls he'd scored and flirted with every girl he'd met. I was surprised as I didn't expect I would hear something like this from him. When I asked why he wanted to do anything with man, he simply said he wanted something different.

 

[G-Lexington]

Nope. Never had to, though.

Lex

 

[Swellegant]

I never have... I've been told, unsolicited and quite randomly by various supposedly straight men, but I don't share your taste so I wasn't terribly interested in satisfying their curiosity after the first few very boring and amateurish go-'rounds.

I wonder, though, how I would feel if a woman asked me the same question, if I was at least a little curious about women. Because I am sometimes curious, but I experience a sense of revulsion at the idea of exploring that curiosity that keeps me happily ignorant...how could I answer that question honestly without hurting the woman's feelings?

At any rate, I'm all for the direct approach, I find it works better than any other approach, especially with men. I would love to hear how that works out for you.

 

[jensu846]

i had an immense crush on this bartender at a bar i would go too for years i would go there just to see him. he knew i was gay. the prob was he had alot of the stereotyes of being gay, taped queer eye, loved techno, went to some gays bars, favorite show was Will & Grace. etc.. i could go on.. So, finally I couldnt take it & just asked flat out if he was interested in men, & that i liked him & if he wanted me at all.
He said he was straight, but he said he was flattered I asked him. It hurt, but now I know where i stand with him. I would have always regretted not asking for the rest of my life. we are friends now & thats it, no more obsessing over him & i have moved on.

So, if you like someone, I say ask away! you might get the answer you are looking for & if not, you can be at ease knowing you tried.

 

[Telstra]

i had an immense crush on this bartender at a bar i would go too for years i would go there just to see him. he knew i was gay. the prob was he had alot of the stereotyes of being gay, taped queer eye, loved techno, went to some gays bars, favorite show was Will & Grace. etc.. i could go on.. So, finally I couldnt take it & just asked flat out if he was interested in men, & that i liked him & if he wanted me at all.
He said he was straight, but he said he was flattered I asked him. It hurt, but now I know where i stand with him. I would have always regretted not asking for the rest of my life. we are friends now & thats it, no more obsessing over him & i have moved on.

So, if you like someone, I say ask away! you might get the answer you are looking for & if not, you can be at ease knowing you tried.

Thats a very good question and a polite one.

 

[MattChicago]

when i have had a few alcoholic drinks i am pretty blunt and ask people if they are GAY if i find them cute. that has happened a few times where my friends were like dude you WERE so hitting on me last night. (the straight ones).

 

[Horschallen]

I do not generally ask if they were curious, bi, etc., but I have offered myself to them if they were interested. And they also know that my offers are standing offers for later. THere were several instances which had me surprised because some of them have redeemed their rain checks.

 

[BRIOHAZARD]

Have you ever just flat out asked a guy if he was curious about men?

I actually did this the other night.

A guy I work with texted me asking about a girl in my department. I told him that she was only 16, then asked him if he finds anyone else attractive that we work with.
He said he finds a few of the girls cute, but he only wants a fuck buddy. I said I wanted the same thing. He responded with "Dang, too bad your a guy and I'm straight. Otherwise we'd be in business".
I asked him if he'd ever experimented with a guy before. And he responded with "I've made out with a few guys before. I was drunk. It's just not my thing".
And I said "Aww, that's to bad. I'd have a lot of fun with you ".
He replied with "I'm sorry".

Then we said goodnight and went about our business.

 

[mattad]

Sultan - ask him. If he is your friend he will not have a problem with the question or answering it. If he goes loco on you , then he really wasn't anything more than a "convenient" friend.

 

[Rex]

I actually did this the other night.

A guy I work with texted me asking about a girl in my department. I told him that she was only 16, then asked him if he finds anyone else attractive that we work with.
He said he finds a few of the girls cute, but he only wants a fuck buddy. I said I wanted the same thing. He responded with "Dang, too bad your a guy and I'm straight. Otherwise we'd be in business".
I asked him if he'd ever experimented with a guy before. And he responded with "I've made out with a few guys before. I was drunk. It's just not my thing".
And I said "Aww, that's to bad. I'd have a lot of fun with you ".
He replied with "I'm sorry".

Then we said goodnight and went about our business.

Made out? Hmm.... that's a pretty bold thing to admit.

I have a feeling you could get him if you wanted to.

Anyway, some of the replies make me want to ask this particular guy even more.

 

[Rex]

^^

What kind of responces would you get?

 

[nafhoosier]

Since most of the guys I'm attracted to aren't out and gay or bi, and since I don't know most out gay guys they are usually straight, or at least as far as I know.

I have been thinking of the posibility of just asking a certain guy "do you have a girlfriend" and then follow up with "have you ever been curious about guys?"

This guy isn't a good freind of mine so it's probably easier to ask him. Most likely I'll get a no but have you ever asked someone up front that you were attracted to and how did they respond? Did they ever surprise you?


This guy in particular hasn't given me any signs. He's just a hot guy and I would be curious to see how he'd react if I asked him that in private.


Discuss.

Then just do it and get it over with.

End of discussion.

 

[StillWaters24592]

Back in the day, I used to do it all the time.

My favorite line was ... would you ever consider doing something with a guy?

Just make sure you do it in a way that is not too out there, intruding, or accusatory. Be very careful at your approach, because you don't want to offend them if they aren't what you suspect.

I always knew which guys I could approach that way though. Then again--I usually tend to fall for nice guys.

I was thinking something similar to this. Your word choice will have a bearing on how he responds.

"Would you ever consider doing something with a guy?" can be worked into a conversation. Be prepared to volunteer some of your own experience so that he does not feel the need to get defensive if his answer is yes.

 

[swerve]

Yet ANOTHER reason why being out of the closet makes life SO MUCH EASIER...

If you're out -- they know -- and if they're interested -- they'll let you know...

 

[Blueboy369]

Some guys may feel too "on the spot" to answer truthfully. Why not just put yourself out there and let him know that if he was ever curious that you'ld be happy to help him out.

 

[fetaby]

alright, fine..

Been there, done that. Own the t shirt...

It takes balls of steel, moves slicker than baby oil, and a level of death defying gravitas few people possess

Try using the big head for once... and see where that gets ya...

Just busting chops, this is not a flame...

 

[Rex]

Then just do it and get it over with.

End of discussion.

Yet ANOTHER reason why being out of the closet makes life SO MUCH EASIER...

If you're out -- they know -- and if they're interested -- they'll let you know...

True dat, but I don't think they'll let you know up front. Probably just give you signs.

i dont get what there is to discuss, you either ask him or you dont. Or just wait for one of the all important 'signs' everyone bangs on about.

Shut up. There is plenty to discuss so slag off.

Some guys may feel too "on the spot" to answer truthfully. Why not just put yourself out there and let him know that if he was ever curious that you'ld be happy to help him out.

That makes sense. I think it's such a random, out of the ordinary question that even in private most guys would feel too on the spot to answer. Good point.

 

[fetaby]

I think it's such a random, out of the ordinary question that even in private most guys would feel too on the spot to answer.

Really? Why? Most guys I know have few to any hangups about their sexuality.. and I'm talking about da straights I know...

They do not have to worry about societal pressure keeping dem in a closet... They have been free to build confidence in their sexual prowess.

To assume is to assume knowledge,

you're not like them, you can never know what it is like for them, never assume things about which you do not know...
that is the definition of ignorance, IMO.

You want to be da man? You want to be assertive?
Do the damn thing...
And deal with the consequences afterwards...
that is stereotypical male...

But I know your smarter than that...

Good day sir.

 

[Rex]

I think it's such a random, out of the ordinary question that even in private most guys would feel too on the spot to answer.

Really? Why? Most guys I know have few to any hangups about their sexuality.. and I'm talking about da straights I know...

They do not have to worry about societal pressure keeping dem in a closet... They have been free to build confidence in their sexual prowess.

To assume is to assume knowledge,

you're not like them, you can never know what it is like for them, never assume things about which you do not know...
that is the definition of ignorance, IMO.

You want to be da man? You want to be assertive?
Do the damn thing...
And deal with the consequences afterwards...
that is stereotypical male...

But I know your smarter than that...

Good day sir.

yup good point