Have you ever known a person who developed dementia?

[peeonme]

Have you ever known a person who developed dementia? At least 5 people come to my mind
er, make it 6.
Did you visit them? It's difficult to watch.

 

[HoodedRat]

Dementia is horrible.

My great aunt Ruby became demented back when I was a child. Eventually she didn't know who I was.

A lady I worked in a charity shop with developed dementia. Before she retired she was University lecturer in physics, after she became ill she no longer recognised her husband.

The neighbour who lived in the flat opposite me developed dementia. She used to be a chatty, sprightly, smartly dressed elderly lady. But as she declined I would find find her wandering the corridors of the block of flats, half dressed, not knowing where she lived. Many times I brought her back to her flat to find she had left her door unlocked and wide open. One time I found her knocking on the doors of the lift (elevator) in the middle of the night. She thought her daughter lived in there and was refusing to open the door. Eventually she got taken into 'care'.

I hope I die before that happens to me.

 

[TickTockMan]

My great grandmother.


She didn't know anyone after awhile and swore my brother and I was stealing from her.

On her deathbed in the ICU she had to be lashed down because she pulled some stuff out of her body that left her unable to speak.

 

[Rickrock]

Yes, a distant cousin, who my brother is Power of Attorney over, is developing dementia. I think that he still knows who we are. He mostly sleeps in his chair in a nursing home. My other brother's father-in-law had dementia and my cousin's friend's husband had it. Sometimes he got bit violent as I understand that some of them do. Yes, it is depressing to see.

 

[theworldwithout]

My Grandmother.

While her more recent memory, that of the last 10-15 years or so is very horrible, her memory before that time is actually very spot on. She remembers her children/grandchildren/cousins/uncles/aunts/grandparents on her Mom and Dad's side of the family. You can show her family pictures that are 70 years old and she can name every person in it.
But when it comes to her great grandchildren and some of her younger grandchildren she can't remember their names, she doesn't know who they are if they are standing in front of her and every 5-10 minutes she'll ask them who they are or who's their parents or their age. She also goes into a loop where she'll ask the same questions, make the same remarks and statements and whatnot about every 10 minutes and she has no recollection of repeating what she had just said.

I try to visit her at least once a month. Any longer than that and I begin to feel horrible about not going. As Rickrock says it's depressing to see someone like that, but it's not their fault so you can't just abandon them.

 

[Yooper]

Way too many people, throughout my entire lifetime.

Some of my earliest memories were my 'Grandfather'* who was unwell for many years, he died when I was 6 or 7. There's a really long, depressing story there, maybe another time if this thread lasts long.

A neighbor, good friend of the family. Another neighbor who my family had known, literally, forever.

Several of my clients back in my Handyman days, including a gentleman who was an Engineer, and another who was a retired College Professor.

Closer to home, my paternal Grandmother's brother, her much younger sister and her husband (double whammy for her kids, my age). Grandmother also started developing some signs but she gratefully passed at 90 before it got too bad.

And now we're dealing with The Partner's brother in law. He ended up in the Nursing Home a few months ago and is dual diagnosed with Parkinson's.

I'm a little worried about The Partner, who is older than me. He hits 70 later this year and there are some troubling signs...I hope my perception is incorrect. Others have noticed too, including a couple of JUBbers who have met him.

The illness, of sometimes many names over the years, takes no prisoners.

*Mom's second husband's stepfather, in case anyone's keeping score

 

[Pierresro]

When I 39 a phone call came from my partners mom (he was sleeping) She spoke Spanish and English But this morning she asked for my partner only in Spanish and sounded different. After the call my partner said something did not seem right. She was n absolutely wonderful and beautiful person. At 57 sh died of Alzheimer's its a terrible disease !

 

[rareboy]

Too many.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Yes, several grandparents before they died and recently a female friend of my mother's (approaching 70). The friend's mother is still alive at age 100 and is not demented.

 

[gsdx]

Just my friend's grandmother back in the 1980. She got so bad before they put her in a nursing home that not only couldn't remember what she had for breakfast 5 minutes earlier, she couldn't even remember if she had eaten it.

 

[eastofeden]

I know of peoplke who had it..but not up close..unless you count my Grandfather....

They said he had it because after My Grandma died and he came to stay with us...he accused my mom of trying to kill him.

I think he was telling the truth. Everyone else thought he had dementia....

They didn't know my mother very well.

 

[Cormac135]

Not so far but i guess it's only a matter of time.

 

[sixthson]

None in my family thankfully but with many others. One stands out above all the rest. This woman was the mother of some people I knew professionally and they asked me to assess her needs at the onset of the diagnosis of dementia. The woman was alert, communicative and she liked me from the beginning. I did not find her to be likeable at all, however, and after many conversations with her children, I learned they didn't either. According to them, she was always difficult as a mother, wife and friend.
As her disease developed, her anger got worse. She would call me dozens of times a day and leave the most awful voice messages, never toward me, but toward everyone else. She was a wealthy woman and would use a car service to go everywhere. She would go to the bank and take out $500 every day and she did that for several years. No one had any idea what she was spending it on and the children didn't seem to care. I'm sure service people, drivers, etc took advantage of her. Finally, after a lot of pressure from me, she was listed as a vulnerable adult and the family employed around the clock nursing care for her in her home. That turned out to be a nightmare because her anger became physical and she hurt a couple of caregivers. From home she went to a lock down unit where her violence became worse and she lashed out at doctors, nurses and everyone except me, but I was careful to keep my distance and watched for flying hands. Some doctors were pushing for electroconvulsive therapy where the brain is shocked leading to a seizure which hopefully will change the brain chemistry. It was a failure. Her violence only got worse. Mayo Clinic diagnosed her with Lewy body dementia with psychotic breaks. Then began every anti-psychotic drug on the market as well as anti-depressants. All they did was turn her into a violent, psychotic zombie. I pushed to have those drugs stopped and replaced with Valium to keep her sedated and felt if she slept her life away it would be better than what she had at the time. I lost that battle. The last straw was when she seriously injured two other patients while in care and had the patients not been at end of life, I'm sure the families would have been sued. Finally, she was put on hospice and guess what hospice gave her besides morphine? Valium. She slept about 20 hours a day and had 4 hours of unbelievable violence. Hospice then withheld all fluids and she had not kept any food down for about a month at that point. It was the ugliest death I have ever seen and I've seen plenty, including the death of children and they still haunt me sometimes. Her death was a blessed relief for everyone. I still can't help but wonder what role her personality played in all this and if a psychiatrist might have diagnosed her with some kind of personality disorder early in life. Her husband committed suicide at age 80 and the children believe he couldn't take life with her any longer. I believe it. At her funeral, I had a long talk with her 25 year old grandson who was gay and a very sweet guy. He told me he loved his grandmother but had to stop coming to see her because of how painful it was to watch her decline. He said he was her favorite grandson and he thinks it was because he was gay and she was very supportive of that, where his parents were not. Maybe that's why she liked me so much?

- - - Updated - - -

Ugh, what a long post. I apologize.

 

[guyfromNY]

My grandmother who is 94 years old is suffering from it. We are not sure if it could be called dementia or alzheimers but the result is still the same. She still knows who everyone is, thank god, but her short term memory is completely shot. For example, she would not remember if she ate breakfast 5 minutes later, but can recall stories from 50 years ago.

Fortunately, she has always been a very pleasant person and has gotten even more so since her mind has begun to slip. Oddly enough, it also gave her the ability to appreciate a raunchy joke whereas in her younger years, she would have been far too prissy..

 

[Ontariobear]

Yes, my father. It lasted far too long, so unfair to end your life in that way.

 

[Shelby29]

Yes, my mother. Age related. It was heartbreaking.

 

[gsdx]

My grandmother who is 94 years old is suffering from it. We are not sure if it could be called dementia or alzheimers but the result is still the same.

They're the same thing. Alzheimer's is just one form of it, but encompasses about 70 to 80% of cases. It interferes with memory, thinking, and behaviour. Loss of shot-term memory is not necessarily dementia.

Memory is a two-part process. Everything goes into the short-term memory first where it is processed by the brain. What you want to remember goes into the long-term memory. What's left over gets discarded. Anything can cause the short-term memory to stop working - an accident, a concussion, a shock, etc. The long-term memory is still there and unaffected. It just doesn't get new memories to remember.

Without a proper diagnosis, you grandmother may not even be suffering from it.

 

[Zeno Lorea]

Not that I can remember.





Sorry guys, the temptation was too much.

 

[peeonme]

I posted this thread because I go to see my aunt about twice a week. She is 91 and her mental decline has been fast. My mother went in to dementia overnight. I had an old friend, he had been my counselor in school, we spoke about 1 time per month, one day I called him and he had totally changed his son told me that he went in to dementia caused by Alzheimer's, my mother in law developed Lewy body dementia. There are 3 or 4 more in my family or circle of acquaintances that developed a form of dementia.

Then just to night my best friend called me, a guy that we have known since 1983 told him that his 70 year old wife has dementia.

 

[EJMichaels]

Just one, my partner's mother, and the details are similar to what others have posted. Regarding visits -- one especially difficult thing was her not remembering the visits, and saying how much she wanted more of them and hated to see us leave. So even if we went twice a day she wouldn't feel comforted by the visits. The interval varied, but was less than weekly at the time she couldn't remember visits.