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Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?

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wonderwort

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I've personally never made a pass at any of my straight friends.

I've thought about a couple of times though.

Have you ever made a pass at a straight friend that went disastrously?
 
No--but it's taken a lot of self-control to not do it. Unfortunately I find them attractive---mostly it's a personality, sense of humor thing that gets me every time.
 
Yea a lot of times actually....... I haven't done it lately but man I used to back in the day, especially when I was drinking and doping it up. I destroyed a lot of friendships. I got punched in the face a few times. I lost a few teeth. I lost a couple of jobs because of it. I had my car vandalized.

So yea...generally speaking most straight guys don't take to kindly to gay guys snaking on them. It really doesn't make much difference what you thought they were doing.

I suppose the worst thing possible is that look on their face when they realize they have been had. I mean let's face it. If you go to the extreme of physically accosting a guy, your intentions aren't the purest and something definitely changed in the friendship, like the complete disregard for the guy's feelings.

Yea that's it. That look of intense hurt that slowly turns to disgust. I can tell you. That sucks the life right out of you.
 
unfortunately yes, after I came out to by best straight friend, I asked he has ever been curious about being with me or any other guy. He said no. But I couldn't leave it at that since we were both drinking. I kept asking him if would just try it once with me and not make a big deal out of it.. He said no again, and that if I keep asking him, its gonna change our relationship going forward.. he said he didn't want to have awkward feelings around me by me keep hitting on him... So now 3 years later, we are back to where we were before I came out, and I have never mentioned anything sexual regarding him again and we are perfectly great friends.
I would suggest not making a pass at a friend that you could possibly lose as a great friend. its best to hold your tongue in these situations.
 
Twice. Once in high school; once in college (with a fraternity brother). Neither was a success - except to foster painful memories.
 
larryng said:
Have you ever made a disastrous "pass" at a straight friend?
Click to expand...

Yepp, more than once and unfortunately one friend was unwilling and it ruined our relationship beyond repair.
 
i haven't done it in person, but after i came out, i spoke to many of my straight friends (close ones and not at all homophobic) and pretty much all of them declined (except one who experimented then stopped) a few of them didn't talk to me for a while but most of them said they understood the feeling of lust and that everyone gets it, they then shrugged it off as horny banter and that was that, i would advise caution when choosing who to make a 'pass' at, not everyone is as forgiving, and you don't want to ruin a friendship that way, makes you feel disgusting after a while.
 
My best friend in the world is Paul. He is straight and exactly my type. I love to watch straight bait porn.

Paul had been my friend for over six years without any real "incidents". He knows I'm gay and I find him very attractive.

There was one time a couple years back when Paul came over to my house and I so so wanted to "grab" him. It took everything I got

not to make a move for his balls. As quickly as possible , I ended our conversation in my house and told him to leave.

I called Paul the next day and told him all about what happened. I told him to never come to my house ever again.

Now, whenever me and Paul meet we just meet in public and we haven't had any kind of incidences in years.
 
Ever since the almost grabbing incidence with my friend Paul, we both moved on with our friendship like nothing ever happened. (because nothing did. Thankfully). We have never spoken about it again.

Today, many years after the fact, I finally asked him what would've happened to our friendship had I actually did grab him.

He said had I had grabbed him, he would've left AND THAT WOULD BE THE END OF OUR FRIENDSHIP.
 
When i was younger i told a friend of mine at the time how i felt about him. That ended the friendship.
 
The problem in this instance is that gay men look at male to male interaction somewhat myopically. Being gay we look at every single thing that a guy does as having some sort of innuendo or clandestine donnee. When it is a guy we find attractive, all judgement is profoundly obstructed. We read gayness into every little thing he does.

This is all reinforce by the stupidity found in many gay porn sites that perpetuate the idea that all straight men are attainable sexually. All you need to do is offer enough money or manipulate the situation in such a fashion that somehow miraculously they find you attractive even though they are not homosexual.

I'm not blaming gay pornographers. They are being good capitalists and selling what people want to buy. They are making a buck. The only thing I take exception to is the fact they promote the idea that a straight guy is a much better partner for a gay man than a gay man. That is utter nonsense.

Are there straight guys doing gay porn? I'm sure there are. I don't think it is a very high percentage however. Are there gay guys doing gay porn saying they are straight guys doing gay porn? Sure. They may be delusional or just plain lying. They may be told by the site management to say that in order to promote a certain storyline concept.

If you want to believe that straight guys find gay guys attractive due to the nonsense on some porn site, then so be it. Just suffer the consequences like everyone else that has bought into that falderal.

I pursued straight guys for years as a way to make myself feel better about being gay. My reasoning was that if I could get into Mr. X's pants then he was as gay or as straight as me. I'm not quite sure which one I was trying to be. I lied to myself and everybody else for such a long time, I didn't know which end was up.

I ruined a lot of friendships. Two come to mind that are particularly painful. I was such a selfish miscreant.
 
Not technically a pass or really disastrous, but I once pushed things a little while skinny dipping with a gorgeous friend that I had a big crush on (I was angling for the Full Monty view) and he had a mild freakout about it the next day. Got over it quickly and the friendship went back to normal.
 
No, he made the pass at me. Straight (so I thought), married, two kids, extremely masculine and manly. Never in a million years would I have expected it. We had just finished doing some construction work on his house and he headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. After the shower he came out of the bathroom buck naked and proceeded to walk around the house bare ass with his huge member flopping around. I said what the hell, took a shower and followed his lead and came out naked as well. One thing lead to another and he ended up asking me if he could sock my cock......of course I said "hell ya". Since then we have had numerous hot encounters. None of which were DISASTROUS. There were a few awkward and jealous moments afterwards, both I wouldn't classify as disastrous.
 
I have walked away from a couple of friendships when they continue to harass me for sex after I have told them no.
 
Not all relationships need to be about sex. Learned that the hard way :(
 
My best friend, a straight guy, who knows I am gay, came to visit me over the weekend during my first year at college. We were hanging around with a miscellaneous group of my college mates, and I grew tired as morning approach and told him I was going back to my dorm room. We both sauntered across campus chatting about old times and current, who was getting some, how regularly, etc. My dorm mate was out for the weekend, and my friend returns from the bathroom, definitely sporting wood. We had each jerked off in darkness as adolescents, though never jerking each other. He finally asks, "Why didn't you ever make a pass at me?" I said "Because you're straight and I didn't want to lose you as a friend." He asks, "Did you ever want to?" I can only answer honestly, "Well of course I did you dummy. You handsome as hell, and you're an amazing guy. You'd be great boyfriend material if you were on my team." He insists he's not gay, and really he's not. He knew we had a level of respect and intimacy uniquely between us. He said "Do you wanna try sucking me?" I thought "Damn, is he testing me? Of fuck who cares if he's just horny, we're just 19 year old boys who want to enjoy ourselves and our bodies." I knew he was big, but in all those years of jerking off beside him I never realized how big. Wow! And as most can attest virility is way up at 19. He had had at least 3-4 girls by that time and I relished in the compliment that I definitely knew what I was doing and gave the best head he'd ever had. I would have been glad to do it again and again, though likely would have grown tired not getting to fuck that sweet little bubble ass of his, or at least watching those lips of his wrap around my own respectable meat. Though we've not been especially close in the 20 years since, we do still keep in touch and recall the goodness of our shared years as best friends.

All that to say, it has to be a very unique thing for it to work out relatively amicably. I highly recommend finding someone that need no convincing, another man who will return that same desire you have for another man. It is amazingly freaking wonderful. I celebrate my partner everyday!
 
High school. Made passes at two close straight friends. One freaked out and we never talked again. The other took it very well but made it clear he was straight. The one who took it well, we've stayed friends (long distance) to this day.
 
Unfortunately, my story belongs in the predominant theme of this post. Although, it seems a few guys got lucky the majority didn't. I lost a couple of really good friendships as a result of being too honest. It changed the dynamic and things were never the same. One even refused to speak to me again and until this day it remains the case. As time has past, I no longer regret being so open. I have been able to work through it. However, it did take a long time and I suffered as a result. These days if I start a new friendship and I feel myself going beyond that, I start to back off. If I am certain he is straight then I will keep things at a distance and break off contact. I would rather remain silent and nipped things in the bud than go through that intensity of emotion again. I am not as resilient as I was.
 
I don't go there with friends, so no. Not that it hasn't presented itself one way or another. But I know these people too well, and they'd have problems dealing with it, so why ruin the friendship?
 
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