Have you ever met a straight guy you thought was gay because he was uber fem?

[Rex]

Have you ever met someone who was extremely effeminate and you were dead sure the little fucker was gay but it turned out he was straight?

Or for that matter, have you ever met someone you KNEW for a dead cold hard fact was gay as hell, but the person still insisted they were straight to everyone? I worked with a guy like that and in a way, I felt sorry for him but on another hand the entire thing is just ridiculous to me and I just want to shake him and slap him and say "YOU'RE GAY!"



Discuss.

 

[Ram]

Yes. All the time. Many young men of our age fail to meet the classic definition of men.

But that's my fault, thinking that all fem males must be gay. I should stop being narrow-minded.

 

[BearBoi]

If I get a strong gay vibe off a guy, it is rarely wrong. I call them, "straight" (privately) and just go with whatever they want to say until they are ready to say the truth.

I bet most of you know what I'm talking about.

But in a more general sense, when it comes to an individuals sexuality I take them at their word. Who am I to suggest I understand such a deeply personal facet of their self better than they do? Isn't that what anti-gay folks do to us all the time?

 

[Rex]

If I get a strong gay vibe off a guy, it is rarely wrong. I call them, "straight" (privately) and just go with whatever they want to say until they are ready to say the truth.

I bet most of you know what I'm talking about.

But in a more general sense, when it comes to an individuals sexuality I take them at their word. Who am I to suggest I understand such a deeply personal facet of their self better than they do? Isn't that what anti-gay folks do to us all the time?

I don't. I also am rarely wrong if I get a strong gay vibe from someone. More often than not, you can tell. But the ones everyone knows is gay and they still proclaim they're straight, it's kind of annoying. Especially the ones who came from a "gay reform camp" or whatever those things are, who really do believe they are straight because they had a "gay demon exorcism".

 

[BearBoi]

But the ones everyone knows is gay and they still proclaim they're straight, it's kind of annoying. Especially the ones who came from a "gay reform camp" or whatever those things are, who really do believe they are straight because they had a "gay demon exorcism".

Well that, sir, is a whole other kettle of batshitcrazy.

 

[lactosedept]

Who am I to suggest I understand such a deeply personal facet of their self better than they do? Isn't that what anti-gay folks do to us all the time?

You make a very good good point! My boyfriend has a coworker who right off the bat I thought was gay. Between Gay Days at Disneyland to his choice of Work Out Music, I just figured "This dudes definitely gay! But he assures us he's not. He was once married, but he has also done minimal stuff with another man, but still considers himself a ladies man. haha

 

[BearBoi]

He was once married, but he has also done minimal stuff with another man, but still considers himself a ladies man. haha

Maybe a Kinsey 1 or 2?

Bisexuals (of every shade) toss a whole other dimension into this discussion... especially the ones who go through phases of being more attracted to one sex over the other.

I didn't even touch on them earlier, but, ya, they make the 'guessing game' even more pointless IMO.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Of course. Just like meeting an "obvious" gay guy who was straight.

 

[nfgrls]

Ya a friend of mine and my boyfriends we swear he is.. everyone we know thinks he is but he says he is not and I think he might be getting married to his girlfriend but we still think he is. At least the chalk board wall in our guest bed room says so.

 

[jmadaf]

Sometimes they don't want to be bashed, go out drinking with them and you'll figure it out. When guys get buzzed they tend to let their guard down. Otherwise don't worry about it.

 

[ManOnTop]

I spend a lot time with mormons (I love mormons, various reasons) and I find this to be a common phenomenon among young mormon men. A lot of them are straight as an arrow, but I think from years of growing up with wholesome activities like dance classes and theater (along with sports and music classes and other busybody wholesome shit---they know nothing about The Simpsons), they don't really realize that they're acting that way. But, really, if me and a couple of my mormon friends and we had someone play a quick game of "Spot the Homosexual" the actual homosexual would be the last one selected. They're well-groomed, polite, well-spoken, athletic and friendly. Believe me, I've tried hard. They're not gay.

 

[Corny]

yes of course. but i probably have seen more gay guys who are desperate to appear straight *wink*wink*

 

[rareboy]

^ This.

Oh...and reformed gays don't count as straight.

They are just psychological basket cases.

 

[HoodedRat]

No, but I've met the odd 'straight' guy who seemed so desperate to appear 'macho', that I naturally assumed he was a cock-gobbling, closet-case, knob-jockey.

 

[nycguydowntown]

In NY that happens quite a bit. One of my closest friends at work is a straight guy who is just so metro. He likes sports a ton, but his fashion sense and so many other things about him cause women to ask if he's gay all the time. If he didn't successfully sleep with half of the women at the job (he's a very very goodlooking guy), they probably wouldn't believe him when he says he's straight.

Yeah--was going to say the same thing--I live in Manhattan and I'm ALWAYS meeting straight guys who you would sware are gay---

 

[Greenherbz]

YES! and i gave hiim my number and everything -___- turns out he wasnt gay. Never making assumptions like that again hahaha
I spent the rest of my semester avoiding him even tho we had a class together haha

 

[Rex]

yes of course. but i probably have seen more gay guys who are desperate to appear straight *wink*wink*

True we do see those a lot, but if you're referring to me, I'm not claiming, or trying, to be straight. I'm just being myself. If anything, I post more about male porn stars and things of that nature over anything remotely stereotypically "straight".


and to everyone, yes I know fem doesn't always = gay but more often than not it does so quit you're preaching. This wasn't meant to come off as a slag towards fem guys but you're trying to make it one.

 

[JayHawk]

I used to work with a guy who dressed metro, wore very nice clothes, had a very keen sense of interior decorating, used facials and women's skin products and love telling us about them, loved getting a mani and a pedi, sat with his legs always crossed in the fem way with one hand usually draped over the front and he had the most amazing ass.

Those days it was the most amazing ass that drew me in and he told me flat out he was into women but realizes how I might figure he was gay. Let it go at that and we are still friends to this day.

Thing is you can't stereotype any crowd... it just aint cool.

 

[curiousunistudent]

Have you ever met someone who was extremely effeminate and you were dead sure the little fucker was gay but it turned out he was straight?

Or for that matter, have you ever met someone you KNEW for a dead cold hard fact was gay as hell, but the person still insisted they were straight to everyone? I worked with a guy like that and in a way, I felt sorry for him but on another hand the entire thing is just ridiculous to me and I just want to shake him and slap him and say "YOU'RE GAY!"



Discuss.

I actually made a thread about a guy like this a while back. Our relationship has now moved on from simple flirting to him shooting me sexy, dirty looks every now and again when he thinks noone is looking, but then when he is with guys from his work he's like "oh dude, you see the tits on that?!".

Pathetic, just accept it already.

 

[ronboy]

Sure.

When I first started to teach, I had a teammate who was as "nelly' as could be.

Turns out he was married with two kids, and a devout Born Again Christian. As I got to know him from working with him, I realized just how straight he really was...