Have you ever tried to kill(hurt) yourself?

[doctorsun]

I've never done it, but I've certainly thought about it before.

I've gone though (AM going through) some very dark times, but I could never bring myself to actually hurt myself.

 

[irydion]

I've had a very bad period in my life, my best friend turned against me and all my class was laughing at me, teasing me, beating me, spitting at me etc. It went on for 2,5 year.
I thought much about suicide, and wished I had a button that would simply make me disappear. I kept imagining it is in my hand and I was pushing it.
I drank some stuff I thought might poison me, twice, but it all ended in a great belly-pain and stomach problems, nothing really serious. I thought I should try something else. I thought about jumping off the window or blowing myself up.
I opened gas and stood next to the window with matches in my hand. Then I heard the doorbell, so I quickly closed the gas and ran to the door. And so I didn't do it. I probably wanted to do it this way because I thought it might look like an accident.
Eventually, decided that by killing myself, I would do much harm to my family, which - being shitty as it is - loves me in some way.

 

[Swellegant]

I'm too big a pussy about pain to have done any of the myriad things I've thought about doing to myself when I was depressed (stabbing myself in the throat has been a recurring image, as has letting go of the steering wheel in the curve of the freeway). I've never even been able to cut myself on purpose. But I remember even as far back as seven years old trying to will myself dead, wanting to get out of this life.

But aside from the pain aspect, and aside from feeling honor-bound to attend to my responsibilities, the chief reason I've refrained from killing myself is the understanding that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That, and my curiosity to see what happens next.

 

[Riverrick]

I've had a very bad period in my life, my best friend turned against me and all my class was laughing at me, teasing me, beating me, spitting at me etc. It went on for 2,5 year.

I thought much about suicide, and wished I had a button that would simply make me disappear. I kept imagining it is in my hand and I was pushing it.

I drank some stuff I thought might poison me, twice, but it all ended in a great belly-pain and stomach problems, nothing really serious. I thought I should try something else. I thought about jumping off the window or blowing myself up.

I opened gas and stood next to the window with matches in my hand. Then I heard the doorbell, so I quickly closed the gas and ran to the door. And so I didn't do it. I probably wanted to do it this way because I thought it might look like an accident.

Eventually, decided that by killing myself, I would do much harm to my family, which - being shitty as it is - loves me in some way.

Boy, that sounds miserable. How can people be so cruel? It certainly makes sense that you would want a little button like that.

If you still feel that way, why not call a suicide hotline? Talk to a real person about how you are feeling? I'm not sure what your resources are in Poland.

Also consider starting a thread in the Coming Out and Relationships Forum. Its a safe place to talk about the stresses of being gay.

 

[luminum]

I took a plastic bottle cap that still had the little ribs from when you twist it off and twisted it into mys kind uring a class once. Iw as depressed, bored, and the pain felt fantastic and the patterns were interesting.

I never did it again so I guess it wasn't really with intention to hurt myself for something.

 

[Nonimus]

I let Stuart Webley give me a dead arm for not doing his maths homework on time - does that count?


Fucking Bully.

 

[hermanding]

never. if you need to talk about anything, send me a private msg. we can talk anytime for as long as you want.
ding

 

[teh_nathan]

Never. If anyone is facing that, just message me, we'll talk.
A close family member did that and succeeded (and died) before I got to know him.

 

[operafan]

In a way I'm kind of surprised that some of you are so forceful in saying that you have never considered it. I've never seriously considered it, but it has crossed my mind.

Sometimes the pain gets pretty deep. But, in the final analysis, I really like life too much to cut it short.

 

[jamie_01930]

yes and I almost got it right, but it wasn't my time.

all b/c I finally got the balls to be honest with myself and people around me. I really belived what I told myself for years. I would rather be dead than to known as gay