Have You Ever Used Okay Cupid?

[refujiunderground]

How do people learn and grow as individuals if they don't go out and try to meet people? The way the guy was in the beginning was nice, then he changed, I didn't expect that, i'm not a moron, but I never thought someone could be so cruel, now I know better. Anyone can date, why you would make such an insensitive comment to me makes no sense, but then again you are the guy who goes out and blows off straight guys right? The world takes all kinds of people to make it complete I guess

well, one thing i gotta tell you is that it's not just an online thing. it's just a people thing. you think so and so is cool as hell only to find out that they have something mentally wrong with them. i've met many people like that. they know how to hide their craziness. the moment you sense something isn't right with them, stay the HELL away from them. look on the bright side, you were able to get out. people like my mother on the other hand...

 

[refujiunderground]

so i decided to register back with okcupid. just saw one of my former classmates on there. the same one i'm talking about. was thinking about adding a face pic but like i said, i don't want to be seen and i don't trust dude at all. i don't want to beat anybody up for putting out my business.

 

[AlmondMilk]

I tried that and plentyoffish....the same people are on hookup sites and apps. The only difference is that you can be naked in your pictures.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

some guys make me scratch my head.

a couple months ago, I was talking to this cool guy who seemed really keen on going out on a date. he initiated contact, suggested the date, etc. we had tentative plans for this one Friday, agreeing that we'd decide on a time/place that afternoon, and then when Friday came around, his profile was deleted. haha.

Some guys are flakes, and some are so afraid of rejection that they run and hide. Or maybe he made up a fake profile and didn't show up for fear of getting called out on it? Who knows? That's his problem, not yours.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

I dunno what happened over this last weekend, but I'm getting hit on left and right by guys who are out of my league. I kinda wanna make sure they get their eyes checked, because I almost feel nervous taking them up on their invitations.

I literally had to check my account and make sure it wasn't hacked and replaced with pictures that weren't my own.

This site is kinda hilarious.

They're only "out of your league" if you think that you are out of their league. If these guys really thought that you weren't good enough for them, they wouldn't have responded to your profile in the first place, correct? You've got nothing to lose by talking to them, so why not say hi?

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

well, one thing i gotta tell you is that it's not just an online thing. it's just a people thing. you think so and so is cool as hell only to find out that they have something mentally wrong with them. i've met many people like that. they know how to hide their craziness. the moment you sense something isn't right with them, stay the HELL away from them. look on the bright side, you were able to get out. people like my mother on the other hand...

I can relate. The first guy I dated and lost my virginity to turned out all wrong. I met "Bob" shortly after I started college and came out. He was cute, funny and charming. He was also an abusive alcoholic. I didn't discover this until after I moved in with him 2 months later. Luckily, he was only verbally and emotionally abusive. I didn't stay to see if he was going to use me as a punching bag.

Assholes existed long before the internet - just made it easier to find them.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

so i decided to register back with okcupid. just saw one of my former classmates on there. the same one i'm talking about. was thinking about adding a face pic but like i said, i don't want to be seen and i don't trust dude at all. i don't want to beat anybody up for putting out my business.

I'm not telling you to come out, because that's up to you...but as long as you stay in the closet, you're going to have a MUCH harder time finding the right guy for you. A majority of people that hide their photos are usually other closeted guys or married dudes on the DL. Most guys aren't going to be interested in dating someone that's afraid to be seen holding hands in public or always worrying if they were spotted going to the movies together by a co-worker.

I wish you courage and good fortune, mein freund! 8^)

 

[refujiunderground]

You obviously are sticking to faulty, outdated thinking that dictates that anyone on a personals site is on there because they are too unwanted to be able to get a date any other way. Bullshit, if I ever heard it.

I told a friend of mine that I was on OkayCupid. I'm mainly there out of curiousity anyway, but I was amused by his response. He told me I didn't need to be on there because I was young, handsome, and incredibly social. I corrected him and let him know that plenty of people who are good "catches" are on OkayCupid--the idea is that they can more easily pinpoint someone who's personality is compatible with their own.

Just because someone is a good catch and can easily get a date doesn't mean they should go out asking every other guy out until they've blown through all their time and money on folks they have nothing in common with. I love that this site allows people to eliminate all the junk while looking for that diamond in the rough.

People who's interest is leaving NYC and starting a family? Decline. Assholes who drink every day then act like marijuana is some kind of abomination? Decline. Superficial people who think the world would be a better place is dumb or ugly people weren't allowed to breed? Decline.

Seriously. Those questions are golden to me. So many people who I'd probably waste time salivating over "IRL," that I wouldn't give a second look to once I've read their profile and interview answers.

you're right but let me be the devil's advocate for a second. online dating may give you more options around the radius, it may introduce to you guys that you would never give a chance if you saw them on the street and etc. i agree with what you're saying but here's the dark side, there's plenty of guys that go on these dating sites that know how to present and spice themselves into somebody that they're NOT. you know, it's hard to tell who's profile really matches who they are. i would prefer if someone just straight up put everything up for me to see than someone who beats around the bush. like what jason said early, you have these guys that hide all their dirt, reel you in on some false impression and then you end up getting all the bullshit when they get comfortable. from what i could see on okcupid, i think there's a lot of liars on that site or many people who are looking for something that they think they deserve but aren't willing to put the work for. i just think it's funny to go to these profiles where these guys that are attractive or unattractive or in between, put up these vague profiles of themselves and fronting like they're the shit. give me a break.

I'm not telling you to come out, because that's up to you...but as long as you stay in the closet, you're going to have a MUCH harder time finding the right guy for you. A majority of people that hide their photos are usually other closeted guys or married dudes on the DL. Most guys aren't going to be interested in dating someone that's afraid to be seen holding hands in public or always worrying if they were spotted going to the movies together by a co-worker.

I wish you courage and good fortune, mein freund! 8^)

thanks, man.

but as for being closeted, you know..... honestly, there's nothing that i can do about that at the moment. you know, i feel that i have to be honest with myself before i can be honest with somebody else. i'm afraid to come out. very afraid. i also don't want me being closeted to deter me from living life as well. i feel that i already made a huge step by acknowledging and trying to come to terms with being gay. to me, that was one of the most difficult things i ever had to do in my life. something that ate me up inside until it came up and i could never long hide my feelings. if a guy doesn't want to date me because of that, that's in my and his best interest. you know, he wants a guy that's out, he should go for that. i'm not going to push myself out the closet just to win a guy's approval. but then again, i'm not really looking for a relationship. haha... i'm more of looking for a friends with benefits.

by the way, i decided to make another ok cupid profile with my pic and as far as i can see, i got more vistors but on the other hand, nobody messaged me yet and honestly, i'm a bit too lazy to message people too. i'll just answer that bullshit 200 questions or whatever.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

if make site a work easy giv a go
until then Internet 1 wave ma thumb
* need lift? *
aww dat so kind ya

thankyou

 

[refujiunderground]

Still love this site. Still all about the whole "window shopping" aspect of seeing what like-minded individuals are out there, and just the nosiness of being able to read profiles.

Every once in a while I get a response and a majority of the time it's from folks who are clearly not compatible with me, so those I skip. So I haven't really exchanged messages with anyone, but it's fun just to get a peek every few weeks or so.

Refu, while I agree that some folks on sites like these makes themselves into something they're not, the complexity of the questions asked on OkayCupid are so serious that it would take a very like-minded individual to even have the imagination to make themselves into what I'd want them to be, anyway. That's why I like the site. It pretty much weeds out so much BS.

Meeting people in person can be fun, but there's so much BS you end up finding out over time. I like that so much is upfront in this format.

been on okcupid for about a month almost and that site really is worthless. i've messaged guys and the whole nizine but at the same time, it seems like they're just not interested and the guys that seem to be interested aren't really my type. there was one guy who i was talking to that was some towns over and i guess he lost interests. i guess i should have asked for his number while i had the chance to. man, i dunno if it's because i'm not attractive enough or they think i'm ugly or is it where i'm located or my profile status or whatever. i hit guys messaging on my last 2 accounts but this one is like.... i'm stuck.

that reminds me, i should update my profile and etc on being closeted and how closeted i am. hopefully, i can get a jobby job, get this whole law school stuff kicking off, and possibly go away to school where i could move elsewhere and have my life kicking off finally. this shouldn't be happening at 26.

but honestly, okcupid to me is a frustrating place. nobody seems interested in talking. i say hello, what's up or try to talk about whatever i see in people's profiles and they're not interested. don't even get any vistors. i had like vistors from pennsylvania. wtf? i can't get any nyc or jersey love? i'm just looking for someone who's willing to deal with me that's all. nothing complicated or whatever. i'm not really relying on okcupid as my means of looking for somebody. of course, i'm looking around offline, going to lgbt centers and basically keeping my eye on the lookout. til then, it's the same old shit.

 

[loveguys72]

Don't be discouraged, refuji. Everything happens in it's own time. Right now, you have enough to be getting on with without adding a manhunt to the mix.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

this thread a start nov 2011

it hint any folk internet 1 or 2

thankyou

fa rest planet happy doins! wen da sofa cheese no buryin ya

 

[frankfrank]

When I want to pursue some kind of relationship, sites like OKCupid are required, as long as I live where I do. There is no such thing as "dating" in the little city where I live. Anything to do with dating, if it involves spontaneously meeting gay guys somewhere without using the internet, requires HUNDREDS of miles of travel, because there is nothing at all gay within an hour or more of me.

 

[cgymike]

adam4adam is another one...they are all the same after a while. 99% of the guys available in your community likely use no personals site though. You have to meet them off line. If you check total number of guys online on adam4adam it is like 100,000 for the entire planet so that means yeah...99% are NOT on there in your community.

 

[refujiunderground]

adam4adam is another one...they are all the same after a while. 99% of the guys available in your community likely use no personals site though. You have to meet them off line. If you check total number of guys online on adam4adam it is like 100,000 for the entire planet so that means yeah...99% are NOT on there in your community.

i think adam4adam contains the same type of guys as okcupid does for the most part just with the closet cases. most of the guys on these sites contain guys that are selfish, self serving people that basically are looking to get a lot out of someone with little or nothing to give back in return. they make a whole lot of demands BUT they have is basically nada to offer. i try my hardest to message someone with the idea that i'm getting to know them through a conversation. someone who i can basically establish a simple connection with that can be a friend and is willing to build off from there. if it doesn't work, then we stop talking.

adam4adam scared me shitless for real. like all these guys basically saying "what up" knowing that the only reason why they're even talking to you is to simply fuck.

 

[kevbo]

Sure have

 

[kevbo]

^ The one where I look confused?

Of course you look adorable in all your photos...

 

[cgymike]

i think adam4adam contains the same type of guys as okcupid does for the most part just with the closet cases. most of the guys on these sites contain guys that are selfish, self serving people that basically are looking to get a lot out of someone with little or nothing to give back in return. they make a whole lot of demands BUT they have is basically nada to offer. i try my hardest to message someone with the idea that i'm getting to know them through a conversation. someone who i can basically establish a simple connection with that can be a friend and is willing to build off from there. if it doesn't work, then we stop talking.

adam4adam scared me shitless for real. like all these guys basically saying "what up" knowing that the only reason why they're even talking to you is to simply fuck.

The most disturbing thing is some people are ALWAYS on line on those sites. They log you off due to inactivity but there are a few no matter when I come on - they are there (and respond right away proving they are looking at the page or close by all the time)...this is just an addictive behavior (OK JUB can be too). What do they get from spending so much time on these sites. Obviously it isn't working to meet real people in the off line world because they are always on looking.
Yes you are right - it's all about hookup! But again see what I just wrote. Of course I guess it only takes 10 minutes for a hookup then they can "be online again" for the next one.
UGH!
Again, the most important thing is that they are spending way too much time on one site. Don't they have a life otherwise?

 

[palbert]

I would love to use Cupid.

He is too cute!

 

[Just_Believe18]

I've found the similarly answered questions do not necessarily mean a match. I've gone out with two guys on there for coffee or dinner with a 90+% match. Unfortunately, the chemistry was just not there.