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Having feelings for a new friend thats dating someone

I

iceman23

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Hey guys newbie here!! i need serious help here. my best friend just introduce me to a friend that he recently got back in touch. surprisingly he is a guy that i rejecting years ago online because he was kinda ugly. so when i met him i notice he made a big improvement on his body and looks a little bit. his face is still eh but the body makes up for it. the day we meet i start to really like him and i mean personality wise. he is type of guy i have been looking for all my life. my friend told me that he still likes me after i rejected him years ago.

the big problem is that he been dating a guy for 3 months. he hasnt confirm the relationship with guy. he also hasnt had sex or talk about the guy much cause he doesnt want to jinx it. i am really trying find a way to stop liking him but its been really hard. i have only hang out twice and in the second day i trying to find something to stop liking him. but that day he gave me more reasons to like him more. i really dont want to stop hanging with him just because i like him alot. he is a nice guy and i dont want to lose the new friendship. i keep thinking about him and there are times where i am hoping that the guy he's dating gets dead it. i have never been the jealous type before this something new. i even sometimes think who am i to try to take someone away? and y should i derserve to have him? my friend and conscience tells me to fight for it but relax at the same time.

i know there are other "fishes in the sea" but im not trying to date anyone because im really trying to focus on getting a job first. i have been single for 2 years and its been hard to find guys that want relationships. so what should i do? i have his phone number but i have been try to not to call him cause i dont want the feelings to progress. i also am trying to not hang out with him alone. i only hang out with him when i with my best friend. can anyone give me advice? i really dont know what to do.
 
This is one of those times that you have to make a fool out of yourself and hope for the best. Give him a call or leave him hints that you're interested in getting to know him and having a relationship with him. Then you just wait and let him make the decision.
 
Welcome to JUB. Your story points to a flaw in cyber introductions. Unless you chat for a long time the personality spark is absent. Apologize for your past behavior and tell him you'd like to spend some time with him.
 
i already apologize for my past behaviors to him. he really never toke it personal because he was into his hookup moods in in those past years. now he has changed and he really looking for a guy that wants a relationship. he really didnt care about what i said to him in the past. he actually enjoys having me around when we hang out. he didnt even mind me flirting with him on the first day we met. he still flirts with me too. he even did it in the second day we hung out. but i didnt flirt in return because i was afraid my feelings will grow more. either way it still grew. we both gave other hints on what type of guys we like and when he gave me the hints i notice it basically describes me. my friend told me that me and him were beasting to see each other when the 2nd time came around to hang out.

im afraid to ask him if we hang could hang out with just the two of us. because i dont to make it seem like im asking him out on a date. the problem is that hes dating the guy exclusively. he says that he only dates 1 guy at a time. thats y im afraid to ask him out.

also very recently he ask my friend if my friend would get in a relationship with me if we werent such good friends. my friend said if it was from the inside yes but from the outside it needs a lot of work. eww i hate when my friend tells me that all the time. because my best friend is definitely not type guy i go for in terms of personality. so my best friend doesnt like me cause of my looks (eww)! my friend ask if he would in return. he immediately changed the subject cause he didnt want tell him anything about that.
 
i really dont know how am i gonna compete with a guy thats been dating him for 3 months?
 
The same way that this guy is competing with all the other guys in your life. If there's a spark, he'll be interested.

Lex
 
there is no guys competing for me right now. im not dating anyone and i technically gave up on dating because its been unsuccessful in 2 years. i have decided to stop dating guys online by deleting all my accounts. im deciding to try another method which letting love come to me instead of searching for it. i have been the mood to not date anyone until i have a job. i having been jobless for 8 months now. now that i met this guy is has cause me a distraction. i have been thinking that i should date this guy. i just dont know how am i gonna ask him out. if he wants to date this guy exclusively?
 
You ask him out. And if he says "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend", that tells you he's dating this guy exclusively.

Lex
 
just throwing in my 2 cents, but he may think you're a dickhead for liking him now just because he changed his body a bit. if he's looking for a relationship - he may not want to have it with a guy who may kick his ass to the curb if he gains 10 lbs.
 
Thats not the reason y i want to be with him because of his body. i dont necessarily care about looks. i have been in 2 relationships and both the guys were overweight and i didnt even care if they were. they both screw me over cause all they want was sex in the end. i am really interested in his personality more and i thats the biggest reason i want to date him. His personality is that ideal one i have been looking for all my life. i wouldnt even care if he gain a lil pounds. i rather value personality more than looks.

Lex, he told me and his friend that he doesnt have a boyfriend. he just tend to only date one guy at a time. so thats y he is dating this guy exclusively. he said he was concrete on if this person is worth being with. hes trying to take it really slow right now.
 
"he said he was concrete on if this person is worth being with". i made an error here. i was trying to say "he said he wants to concrete on if this person is worth being with".
 
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