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having gay friends

G-Lexington said:
>>>I'd call that issues.

And they think I (and, I'm guessing, you) have sexual hang-ups because I can't have sex with my gay friends (and anyone else) and keep it "just sex". I just say we agree to disagree on that point.

Back to the point at hand.

As I said, I've never had any issue hanging out with other gay guys. Coupled or single. Have I had any make a move on me? Sure. At which point I say "You know I'm happily partnered, right?", and they laugh off their pick-up lines and say they were just fooling around. The topic changes, and we're platonic friends henceforth. It really isn't such a big deal.

If this guy is an asshole, then he's an asshole, and his sexuality has nothing to do with it.

Lex
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Im thinking hes more of an ass, because I keep telling him that, and hes like.. well your bf is in another country! and im like.. um so... it just really bothers me that he dont get the point...
 
If he isn't respecting you he isn't your friend. Find gay friends in places other than bars like joining gay social clubs. I did that and my world has opened up
 
To which you respond "Well, maybe you have an open relationship, or you don't mind cheating on your boyfriend, but neither one is true in my case." That should settle things. If it doesn't, stop hanging out with him.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
I've had other people say the same thing. That they can't be friends with other gay guys because of the sexual tension that's always there. I've been friends with partnered gay guys, single gay guys, straight guys, and women...and never felt any sexual tension. But maybe I'm just oblivious. If so, I'd say that's a positive.

I also know gay guys (obviously not well) who don't befriend other gay men UNLESS they're going to fuck. "Otherwise, what's the point?"

Lex
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That's the sad thing i try being friends with gay and bi men and that's the first thing they want to do is fuck. And when you tell them your not interested they don't want to have anything to do with you. Or most gay guys want only good looking male friends and only female friends.

Its quite odd how some people is picky about the way their friends look.
 
>>>That's the sad thing i try being friends with gay and bi men and that's the first thing they want to do is fuck. And when you tell them your not interested they don't want to have anything to do with you. Or most gay guys want only good looking male friends and only female friends.

Then I'd say your problem isn't gays, but where you're finding them. You specifically say you've met guys at gay bars. This is a place where people tend to look for fuck material. Friends, too, possibly, but presumably friends they can fuck. Coming away from a gay bar wondering why you dldn't find a good platonic friend is a bit like leaving Denny's wondering why you didn't get a gourmet meal. You're in the wrong spot for that. I've got plenty of platonic gay friends - on all spots on the hotness spectrum - but I didn't meet any of them at gay bars.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
>>>I'd call that issues.

And they think I (and, I'm guessing, you) have sexual hang-ups because I can't have sex with my gay friends (and anyone else) and keep it "just sex". I just say we agree to disagree on that point.

Back to the point at hand.
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That wasn't aimed at you personally.

I just think that any guy who will only befriend gay men he intends to have sex with, screams closet.
 
>>>I just think that any guy who will only befriend gay men he intends to have sex with, screams closet.

The ones I've known were out. Their attitude was just "I've got enough friends. I'm looking for more fuck-buddies. If you're not interested in that, I'm not interested in you."

Lex
 
If you want gay friends, start your own social group of a gay friendship thing. There's plenty of this already btw. If something special happens because of this, well great- but make it clear it's just a friend thing.

You don't go to a gay bar that's about lust and hooking up expecting to find something other than that. It can happen but it doesn't work that way.

I think really a 'middle of the road' zen approach to romantic love and erotic love is what you need to be doing here.
 
Has the OP ever considered joining a gay men's group on www.meetup.com? There are several groups on meetup.com that are non sexual and are for gay men that want positive friendships. Or does the OP have a local gay newspaper he can read or contact the local gay community center in his area? Perhaps if the OP is looking for friends he needs to take himself outside of the sexual arena and try to find friends in different spheres?
 
well last friday, my friend introduced me to this one guy hes know for a while, because jonas had to go wait on some tables, so i met this really chill guy Josh, we chatted for a bit, talked about work, and personal lives, he knows that im in a happy committed relationship and he told me about his last relationship. he made no real moves on me, and really made me feel alot more comfortable than my last experience there. he then introduced me to a few of his friends and we all exchanged numbers to set up a meet up the next week. it was nice.
 
See. There. That wasn't so hard, was it?
 
rareboy said:
See. There. That wasn't so hard, was it?
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haha, well I just had to make sure that I had a good friend introduce us, and make sure he knew that I was in a relationship, and he was totally cool about it!
 
I don't have many gay friends. I think that's ok. I have one close gay friend, because we are similar, but not because we are both gay.

I tried to make friends with a group of gay people and there is no tension on my end but most of the group has tried to fuck me. I don't like that...I thought these were my friends. Meanwhile, I wouldn't fuck any of them because they have all fucked each other already. Haha...so don't worry too much about this. I used to but I realized friends are friends and I don't NEED gay friends I just NEED my great friends regardless of who they are
 
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