Having second thoughts about My Sexualtiy

[Solidussnake]

Okay, I'm not really sure what's going on with me, I think it would be nice to get some opionions. I am currently 19.

Well, perhaps embarrassingly, I've only had sex with men and never women(I think I'm just more self consciouse around them), But I still identified myself as "Bi"...I don't know maybe I was in denile eh? This changed a while ago when I watched a certain straight porno and wasn't the least bit aroused by what even I thought was an extremely good lesbian scene. The girls were perfect and I wasn't feeling it at all. The next scene in the movie showed a pretty unatractive guy fucking a girl. But with one look at his hard cock I immediately got hard. So when that happened I decided I was not Bi, but most certainly gay.
Now here's my problems with this.

I find I'm only attracted to older men.
All the older men I've been with smell. It's not even a stench sometimes, Its just an odor I don't like at all.
This kind of goes with the above, but I hate kissing them, I just can't do it, its gross.
I hate anal sex. I've tried 3 times now. It's painful as hell, and when it's finally not it's still not a good sensation for me. I'm not sure I would want to be a top either because I'm not really into the ass.
I like sucking cock and thats about it.


This might not be very popular theory but I've heard things about stuff happening in someones past or childhood that could make them...gay I guess.

Like my parents divorced right after I was born so I grew up with out a father....is that why I only like older men?
Im really thin and was self conscious about it for a long time....I prefer men who are really buff and manly.

I sometimes feel that it was because I was so unmasculine and thin as a kid that lead me to stare at pictures of ************ and muscle men obsseasivly and somehow that turned into something sexual.

I also kinda consider myself to be a romantist and never really thought that being with a man would be romantic, just erotic...


Basically I was just wondering if there is a possiblity that my mind is just fucked up or if your sexuality has nothing to do with all of the things I mentioned.

Any thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 

[Solidussnake]

I don't know a lot about the subject, but I know for sure your mind isn't fucked up at all.

Sexuality in itself is pretty fucked up. My only advice would be to find what you do like, find what works for you and go for it. It doesn't really matter how you end up defining yourself, I think sexuality is such a fluid thing that you never really know what you're gonna be into until you try it.

So yeah, I guess just do what you wanna do and try not to worry about the how and why of things. If it makes you happy, then whats to worry about?

Hey thanks for the reply. I agree. I kind of wanted to be able to define myself a little bit more, but Im not a fan of labeling things either. I guess Its just not possible to be certain about it anything anyway.

 

[DBSKIsMine]

The particular sexual activities you like and dislike don't really define your sexuality. There are gay guys out there that for some reason or another do not like giving blow jobs, but they still define themselves as gay. I think your sexuality is defined more by an overall physical attraction to a specific gender and not by what you enjoy doing sexually with that gender.

 

[MarkDW]

First of all, not all older guys smell. Whats up with that? Maybe you aren't picking the right guy? Is it a one nighter, do it quick so I can get the fuck out of here? I mean, do you meet the guy, converse, etc? Is it planned, or spur of the moment. See what I'm getting at?

Secondly, you are 19 and you DO NOT have to have a complete understanding now, or ever, for that matter. I mean, you are young, you have experiences yet to live, things yet to see, places yet to go. Relax, unwind, enjoy!! Things have a way of working out, despite our efforts to the contrary.



Mark

 

[hermanding]

i would think you would be better equipped to know your feelings after sex with women
ding

 

[Solidussnake]

First of all, not all older guys smell. Whats up with that? Maybe you aren't picking the right guy? Is it a one nighter, do it quick so I can get the fuck out of here? I mean, do you meet the guy, converse, etc? Is it planned, or spur of the moment. See what I'm getting at?

Secondly, you are 19 and you DO NOT have to have a complete understanding now, or ever, for that matter. I mean, you are young, you have experiences yet to live, things yet to see, places yet to go. Relax, unwind, enjoy!! Things have a way of working out, despite our efforts to the contrary.



Mark

Yeah, I get you. Sometimes its with guys I know, a friend I hang out with for fun, sometimes its with someone Ive only been talking to for a few minutes. As I said, I somehow don't really see myself being romantically involved with another guy. Its more of a sexual thing. I just felt a little confused, cause I've recently had a stronger conviction that I was gay and not bi.
Anyway I guess I'll just quit worrying about it for now!

 

[spencer]

shower with your partner before sex

 

[tommyj]

^^ sounds like a plan! Im 46!

 

[dukemike]

I don't know a lot about the subject, but I know for sure your mind isn't fucked up at all.

Sexuality in itself is pretty fucked up. My only advice would be to find what you do like, find what works for you and go for it. It doesn't really matter how you end up defining yourself, I think sexuality is such a fluid thing that you never really know what you're gonna be into until you try it.

So yeah, I guess just do what you wanna do and try not to worry about the how and why of things. If it makes you happy, then whats to worry about?

I think that is excellent advise! Do what feels good. Enjoy

 

[nightmareman]

These are normal feelings a lot of people go through. As for the lesbian porn thing. I wouldn'y put much into it.

Honestly I don't really get all that turned on by two women. But I know for fact I like girls as well.

I sort of had the same feelings as you, but in a different way. I was more wondering if I was bi or just a little curious. And sometimes I still don't know, which it is.

Right now my luck with women has been lousy, the girl I'm into pays no mind to me like I'm not even there and sometimes that's when I start to think about guys a little more.

I do have an attatraction to guys, but sometimes I don't know if its frustration or what. So I know how you feel in a different way.

And like I said not getting turned on by 2 women doesn't mean anything. Doesn't do much for me, but I still know I like women.

Also you can't control getting hard either. So I wouldn't question ones sexuality based on that. I'd be willing to bet many straight guys if they watched a gay porn some might get hard even if they have no desire to be with a guy.

Only you can really figure all this out. Asking for advice is fine and a good thing, but at the end its all with you.

Don't harp too much on sexuality just be with who you want, men or women, both what ever.

As long as you re happy with it than nothing else matters.