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Having Trouble

WrestleHard

WrestleHard

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Hi there. I have been wondering around this site for the past year and found some people give some really good advice. So I was wondering if anyone would give me a bit of advice.

Basically I've been out for 3 years now and I am having trouble finding a guy or even finding any friends and I was just wondering how you guys go about dating or hooking up. Im 23 this year and I'm becoming slightly worried about my situation.
 
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Anyway, you mention that you've been out for three years. Being that could be interpreted as vague, if I may ask, who are you out to?

Now that your nearing twenty-three are you still in college or have you completed a degree? What's your interests?
 
WrestleHard said:
Hi there. I have been wondering around this site for the past year and found some people give some really good advice. So I was wondering if anyone would give me a bit of advice.

Basically I've been out for 3 years now and I am having trouble finding a guy or even finding any friends and I was just wondering how you guys go about dating or hooking up. Im 23 this year and I'm becoming slightly worried about my situation.
Click to expand...

It really depends on what you're looking for.

If you're looking for hookups, there's Grindr, Manhunt, and Adam4Adam.

If you're looking for dating there's Plenty of Fish, Chemistry.com, OK Cupid, and FindFred, among other sites.

I would second Silvirain's suggestion of Facebook. It's a good jumping off point.

If you like older guys I would suggest www.silverdaddies.com or www.clubsilver.org.

Finally I would think about www.meetup.com. It's not a dating website, but you can find groups of people that meet and do activities related to a common interest.
 
Welcome. You've asked an excellent question and the reason I think it's excellent question is because any answer may require more questions or be a real reflection of the answers personality.

I think that the ease people have meeting people, being out and being sexual has to do with innate qualities of personality they were born with. In other words, I'm naturally introverted. It's something I've worked on for many years and I've even had friends laugh out loud when I've shared that with them.

So, I would have a few question for you. What do you mean by being out? Who knows you're gay? How do you generally go about meeting people? Are you active in any hobbies? What's your general feeling/judgement regarding casual sex? I underwent the most self growth when I challenged myself to step outside my comfort zone, something that I'd refer to as feeling the fear and doing it anyway. I'm not implying this is shitting your pants fear, but something manageable.

The risk may take the form of joining a group of some kind, taking a night class, a book club, movie club, dinner club, etc. For some of us the act of coming out begs the next question, now what?

I'd certainly be happy to pm chat with you at any time. Good luck to you.
 
Find the nearest gay community center and go volunteer to help with whatever they do.

The quality of men will be higher than on the net, and face to face is how you make friends.
 
I don't really know how to approach guys. Ive tried Grindr but no one seems interested.

Suppose its just my mother that truly knows my brothers don't but people at college do but there really not my friends.

I suffer from social anxiety so meeting people can be really difficult
 
Try posting your home town in your JUB profile. You never know, Mr Right might be a fellow Jubber who lives on your doorstep.
 
WrestleHard said:
I don't really know how to approach guys. Ive tried Grindr but no one seems interested.

Suppose its just my mother that truly knows my brothers don't but people at college do but there really not my friends.

I suffer from social anxiety so meeting people can be really difficult
Click to expand...

Have you thought about getting help for the social anxiety? I don't know anything about it, but that would seem like the biggest stumbling block.
 
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