He did it to me again!

[mikeyjon]

I work with a gay man who is my age, and I thought was my friend. If one of us hook up with a guy we talk about it ( I'am single, he is not). Several months ago I introduced him to a friend of mine, and they would talk at the "Y". My friend told me that the guy I work with was always putting me down. He said I was "bragging" about all these hot guys I hooked up with, and if they looked like me they were'nt "Chippendale Dancer's". I asked someone else I talk to if I come off as "bragging", she said no it's just matter of fact.

I was pissed when I was told this, I won't forget it, but after giving him the cold shoulder I started speaking to him again. Well today I was just about to leave and he was just coming to work. I mentioned how nice he looked, and he asks me who cut my hair, and I told him. he says "your hair is uneven" I told him it's suppose to be cut that way.

What I find funny is he is always talking about all the guys that come into his department (we work at a home improvement store) and their checking him out, and how they probably want to hookup. I should mention that he says nothing good about his boyfriend, he thinks he's "slow".

Were both 49, Iam over weight, working 2 jobs, living paycheck to paycheck, and drive a 26 yo car. The other guy is slim, nice home and car, and has money. I guess I don't understand why he's nice to my face, but a dick behind my back when there is no reason for it

 

[BlondeCanadian]

People are bitches

 

[gsdx]

He doesn't have to be polite when you're not around.

 

[jackoroe]

I work with a gay man who is my age, and I thought was my friend. If one of us hook up with a guy we talk about it ( I'am single, he is not). Several months ago I introduced him to a friend of mine, and they would talk at the "Y". My friend told me that the guy I work with was always putting me down. He said I was "bragging" about all these hot guys I hooked up with, and if they looked like me they were'nt "Chippendale Dancer's". I asked someone else I talk to if I come off as "bragging", she said no it's just matter of fact.

I was pissed when I was told this, I won't forget it, but after giving him the cold shoulder I started speaking to him again. Well today I was just about to leave and he was just coming to work. I mentioned how nice he looked, and he asks me who cut my hair, and I told him. he says "your hair is uneven" I told him it's suppose to be cut that way.

What I find funny is he is always talking about all the guys that come into his department (we work at a home improvement store) and their checking him out, and how they probably want to hookup. I should mention that he says nothing good about his boyfriend, he thinks he's "slow".

Were both 49, Iam over weight, working 2 jobs, living paycheck to paycheck, and drive a 26 yo car. The other guy is slim, nice home and car, and has money. I guess I don't understand why he's nice to my face, but a dick behind my back when there is no reason for it

I agree. Anybody that dates an imbecile like this guy must be a bit "slow."

 

[mbamike]

This guy is not your friend. Be polite and professional at work; otherwise, don't have anything to do with him. Stop telling him your personal business.

 

[mikeyjon]

This guy is not your friend. Be polite and professional at work; otherwise, don't have anything to do with him. Stop telling him your personal business.

I tell him nothing personal anymore, and I can tell it bothers him.

 

[gsdx]

I tell him nothing personal anymore, and I can tell it bothers him.

That sounds about right. Gossips can't gossip if you don't give them anything to gossip about.

They don't like that.

 

[levenshulme31]

To be fair, there are people at my place of work I think are pricks, but I don't tell them.

 

[kevbo]

The other guy is slim, nice home and car, and has money. I guess I don't understand why he's nice to my face, but a dick behind my back when there is no reason for it

Some people are way more insecure than how they present themselves to other people.

 

[mikeyjon]

To be fair, there are people at my place of work I think are pricks, but I don't tell them.

I have no problem if he thinks I'am a prick, just stay away from me. But their is a women that works with us, and we have maybe said 20 words to each other in 8 years. So when I was'nt saying much to him, she comes up to me like were long lost friends asking "how you doing". Pretty sure he put her up to finding out what was wrong. Guess he thinks I'am a bragger, and I'am dense.

 

[mikeyjon]

Some people are way more insecure than how they present themselves to other people.

Very true.

 

[JOHN B]

Hey Mikeyjon...it sounds like this guy is just one of those people who has to put others down in order to feel good about himself. It might also just be his form of "having control" over other people. Either way, he sounds pretty insecure. I would just take what he says with a grain of salt.

 

[mikeyjon]

Hey Mikeyjon...it sounds like this guy is just one of those people who has to put others down in order to feel good about himself. It might also just be his form of "having control" over other people. Either way, he sounds pretty insecure. I would just take what he says with a grain of salt.

I figure if I lose 50lbs, and get a hot bf, it may kill him, at least emotionally

 

[freefall]

He's just trying to make you feel inferior to him. That's all.

Just ignore him.

 

[voyager1994]

He's really not your friend from the sounds of it.

 

[Deandbn]

I figure if I lose 50lbs, and get a hot bf, it may kill him, at least emotionally

You dont need to do anything!!

He is already insecure, just keep not telling him your business. Just be polite and greet him thats all.

Buttttt..... If you want to lose the weight for your own reasons, that will make you feel much better about yourself. Give you a more positive self image and all that. Whatever you do, dont do it for him, dont allow him to be that important in your life, and dont give him the priviledge of having that power over you.

If you are working 2 jobs and still living hand to mouth, you should maybe go see a financial advisor who can teach you how to handle money better so you can also have a nice car etc..

 

[demedja]

He didn't do it to you. You're doing it to yourself. Seems you keep making the mistake of thinking that this dude is your friend. He is not. He just a person that you work with and that's all. Also seems as though you're assuming that because he's slim, nice looking, and has money, new car, house, and stuff that he's better off than you who because you are overweight, drive an old car, work two jobs, and live paycheck to paycheck. Its a fucked up world we live in. Looking good and having money and stuff doesn't guarantee that people who have these things are content
with any of it. Some people are just hateful and miserable, and they will always be that way no matter what.

You don't have to give him the cold shoulder. Since you work in the same department there will be times when you'll have to work together, and it would be childish to not speak to each other at all. You can still talk to him. You just have to know what NOT to say.

The solution: stop discussing intimate details about your private life with people at work. Keep professional relationships exactly that way---professional. Sounds to me like this dude envies you, and envy can turn even some of the nicest people into backstabbing sons of bitches.

 

[rareboy]

Just be friendly but not friends.

Make sure he has nothing to complain about at work and then avoid him whenever you can.

 

[mikeyjon]

You dont need to do anything!!

He is already insecure, just keep not telling him your business. Just be polite and greet him thats all.

Buttttt..... If you want to lose the weight for your own reasons, that will make you feel much better about yourself. Give you a more positive self image and all that. Whatever you do, dont do it for him, dont allow him to be that important in your life, and dont give him the priviledge of having that power over you.

If you are working 2 jobs and still living hand to mouth, you should maybe go see a financial advisor who can teach you how to handle money better so you can also have a nice car etc..

I really do want to lose the weight for me. I was down to 170, and went up to 220 (stress eating due to an illness in the family).

I use to have money but lost my full time job a couple of years ago. Just playing catch up, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I do feel lucky, I know their are others who are a lot worse off then myself.