He doesn't like the way I touch and kiss him

[coltonhaynes]

Intro: Thread Title should be "He doesn't like the way I touch and kiss him"

Long story short, I month ago I first met a guy with whom things have gotten rather serious. We've been seeing each other around 2-3 times weekly since.

The ony thing we haven't really had is anal sex, although both of us have expressed desire to have so. He just explained to me, why, from his side of the spectrum, this hasn't happened, yet. Basically, he explained me he has insecuritied, but the second reason I want to make the main topic of this thread.

He explained to me that he doesn't like the way I touch and kiss him. He said it doesn't make him like super uncomfortable, but doesn't exactely arouse him, either. That's why he hasn't felt it was the right situation for sex, yet.

I am looking for advice on how I can be intimate with him in a way that doesn't make him feel turned-off. It'S not about sex, but about me not wanting to fuck this up.

 

[KaraBulut]

I guess the first question is "Does he like it when anyone touches and kisses him?".

Or is the issue specific to the way that you're doing it?

 

[TX-Beau]

The second question being how serious can this possibly be, since you're only seen him between 8 and 12 times in your life. You barely know the guy so slow down, his recalcitrance could have any number of causes, and we don't have the answer to that, only he does.

He may just not be that into you, he may have some kind of deep neurosis, he may have some intimacy problems, he may just not like to be touched - you need to ask him.

 

[coltonhaynes]

He may just not be that into you[...]

Well, he has told me he is very attracted to me, and that I'm a good and nice person whom he likes to be around, so I'm rulling out that (Thought I'd make that clear for further people who will be so friendly with helping me).

But thanks a lot to you and KaraBlut for your insight =)

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

So touch and kiss him differently...

 

[MusicMan321]

Maybe see if you touch him differently and he may like it see how it works for the both of you

 

[KaraBulut]

I guess the first question is "Does he like it when anyone touches and kisses him?".

Or is the issue specific to the way that you're doing it?

...He may just not be that into you, he may have some kind of deep neurosis, he may have some intimacy problems, he may just not like to be touched - you need to ask him.

Until you know the answers to these questions, you won't know how much of a chance there is for a progression of the relationship.

If he has issues with intimacy in general, it will take work but it can be addressed. If he has issues with you, that would be more difficult to work through.

 

[jaysizzles]

I had a similar situation where the guy I was with was way too rushed, aggressive and wet with his kissing; I had to slow him down to give me the opportunity to take a breath every once in awhile. He turned out to be a really good kisser after awhile...too bad he was kind of a jerk otherwise.

Since I don't know what it is about your style that he doesn't like, I'll just suggest a compromise on your part, for the time being. Since you like this guy and and he said he likes you, ask him if he'll suggest and show you how he likes to be kissed and touched. Let him know you're willing to practice a lot until you get it right. Be receptive to his suggestions and think of it as being fun, not criticism. We all have to find our groove with our partners, and maybe in time he'll be willing to switch things up as to how you like to be touched and kissed.