Esquire0399
Be My Baby...
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2009
- Posts
- 2,158
- Reaction score
- 2
- Points
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- Location
- Baltimore
- Website
- seanholmanart.daportfolio.com
For as long as I can remember I've dreamed of meeting that person that I wanted to be with, unconditionally. I didn't always accept that I wanted that person to be a guy but I knew what I wanted from a young age. After coming to terms with my sexuality I spent a period of time believing that I would never find that guy. I'm not quite sure why, I just didn't believe he existed.
At the end of 2009 I met Alex here on JUB. He was/is perfect. Exactly what I had always dreamed of. From November 2009 to September 2010 we became extremely close. We knew just about everything there was to know about each other and I loved him completely. Sadly, he lived half way across the country and, inevitably I suppose, we lost touch. I regret it to this day and will never, ever forget him.
That was a very difficult time for me, realizing that I had somehow let go one of the greatest people I had ever known. I was depressed, hurt, I hated myself for not trying harder to keep him, and I convinced myself that there was no way I would ever meet a guy as incredible as Alex. It was impossible. He was too perfect, not for his lack of imperfection, but because of it, and no one else could ever make me feel the way he did. I closed myself off to all romantic emotion as I had done before and accepted that I might be alone forever. I wasn't okay with this, but I came to terms with it.
In October 2010 I got a job at Urban Outfitters. I met some amazing people, made some great friends and as I type this I continue to love working there, as an escape from the engineering that is my reluctant alternate reality. At some point between my first and second week there I met a guy named Keith, a co-worker, and he made it clear almost immediately that he was interested in getting to know me. Because I had flipped off my emotion switch, I refused to give him a shot. He didn't give up. He respected my feelings but stuck around as my friend. He tried again to get me to give him a chance and, again, I refused. Still, he stayed. "Fuck this is a good friend," I repeatedly thought to myself. One more time he let me know how he felt about me. At this point I decided that maybe I should give him a chance because, honestly, why not. What did I have to lose?
I went on a date with him and this time it was different between us than it normally was. It was somehow special. I liked it. We hung out again and I discovered that I really, really liked this guy named Keith, who was really just supposed to be my friend. We continued spending time together and became closer and closer.
For the first time since Alex, I felt that I had met someone that was so perfectly flawed, so beautifully off-key that I didn't want to let go. And that's when I knew he needed to be mine.
And now, after all of his hard work, he is mine and I'm his, and I couldn't be happier. I forced myself to care again, to open my mind to the idea of love again. He helped me see that while it's not easy to give up your heart, it's absolutely worth it. And there's only one reason I'm happy again, one reason I'm falling in love again...
Because he never gave up.
-Sean
At the end of 2009 I met Alex here on JUB. He was/is perfect. Exactly what I had always dreamed of. From November 2009 to September 2010 we became extremely close. We knew just about everything there was to know about each other and I loved him completely. Sadly, he lived half way across the country and, inevitably I suppose, we lost touch. I regret it to this day and will never, ever forget him.
That was a very difficult time for me, realizing that I had somehow let go one of the greatest people I had ever known. I was depressed, hurt, I hated myself for not trying harder to keep him, and I convinced myself that there was no way I would ever meet a guy as incredible as Alex. It was impossible. He was too perfect, not for his lack of imperfection, but because of it, and no one else could ever make me feel the way he did. I closed myself off to all romantic emotion as I had done before and accepted that I might be alone forever. I wasn't okay with this, but I came to terms with it.
In October 2010 I got a job at Urban Outfitters. I met some amazing people, made some great friends and as I type this I continue to love working there, as an escape from the engineering that is my reluctant alternate reality. At some point between my first and second week there I met a guy named Keith, a co-worker, and he made it clear almost immediately that he was interested in getting to know me. Because I had flipped off my emotion switch, I refused to give him a shot. He didn't give up. He respected my feelings but stuck around as my friend. He tried again to get me to give him a chance and, again, I refused. Still, he stayed. "Fuck this is a good friend," I repeatedly thought to myself. One more time he let me know how he felt about me. At this point I decided that maybe I should give him a chance because, honestly, why not. What did I have to lose?
I went on a date with him and this time it was different between us than it normally was. It was somehow special. I liked it. We hung out again and I discovered that I really, really liked this guy named Keith, who was really just supposed to be my friend. We continued spending time together and became closer and closer.
For the first time since Alex, I felt that I had met someone that was so perfectly flawed, so beautifully off-key that I didn't want to let go. And that's when I knew he needed to be mine.
And now, after all of his hard work, he is mine and I'm his, and I couldn't be happier. I forced myself to care again, to open my mind to the idea of love again. He helped me see that while it's not easy to give up your heart, it's absolutely worth it. And there's only one reason I'm happy again, one reason I'm falling in love again...
Because he never gave up.
-Sean